StanMusial Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I just want to post some examples btw. [Keep in mind, I am now taken, so I wouldn't respond back now, consider this hypothetical] A message from an "average" guy, I checked out his profile after the message. He is in my age group, is pretty interesting and his message is what let me to check. I like your opening line, I am mustachioed and proud of it. I worked at a car lot when I lived in Washington, so I know how it is to be working away your weekend. Paintball still does that to me. So tell me, what do you look forward to each week? http://ak3.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/188x112/414x338/0/4354805707437997060.jpeg It is a good message! Showed he read my profile, asked me a simple question easy to respond to, and the opening line in his message made me chuckle. Here is one I would NOT talk to. well hello how was your weekend? Hope you had fun... I'm ***** by the way http://ak2.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/7x43/289x326/0/11798669108884644306.jpeg Now with the last one, yep. He is HOT. I think so, but his message? Bland, didn't show that he read my profile at ALL and was just not interesting. Not to mention his profile was BORRRINGGGG. I think you are a rarity among OLD'ers. I think it is probably 90+% based on photos.
Keenly Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 People are just more inclined to be fake behind a keyboard. There has been 2 instances also where I felt like I had chemistry with some one based on the way we were interacting and our conversations, but in person it was dull and lifeless. IRL is the way to go. 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I think you are a rarity among OLD'ers. I think it is probably 90+% based on photos. I already admitted I totally am. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 People are just more inclined to be fake behind a keyboard. There has been 2 instances also where I felt like I had chemistry with some one based on the way we were interacting and our conversations, but in person it was dull and lifeless. IRL is the way to go. That is interesting to me... I always found the men to be exactly the same in person as through the web. I have to say though, I have one of those personalities where I can get pretty much anyone out of their shell. Awkwardness doesn't exist around me because I turn it around whenever I feel it is about to. I am what my friends call a good "date". I always have a good time, even if it isn't the BEST date, and make the guy feel good. I am easy about letting them down though too.
StanMusial Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 That is interesting to me... I always found the men to be exactly the same in person as through the web. I have to say though, I have one of those personalities where I can get pretty much anyone out of their shell. Awkwardness doesn't exist around me because I turn it around whenever I feel it is about to. I am what my friends call a good "date". I always have a good time, even if it isn't the BEST date, and make the guy feel good. I am easy about letting them down though too. Well that's a good attitude to have. I think you probably had some decent success because you were not just suckered in by a good-looking face.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Well that's a good attitude to have. I think you probably had some decent success because you were not just suckered in by a good-looking face. I had tons of success! A lot of fun too! Not to mention learned a lot about what I found attractive/unattractive in a man. That being said, I still dated IRL too, so OLD was just another resource.
ascendotum Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I had tons of success! A lot of fun too! Not to mention learned a lot about what I found attractive/unattractive in a man. That being said, I still dated IRL too, so OLD was just another resource. Hey J, just curious what you mean by tons of success? Do you mean lots of quality guys msging you or going out on lots of dates with decent enough guys, or having lots of flings/STRs with decent guys or getting a LTR with a quality guy. I would have thought most women want success (LTR with their dream guy), and not really tons of success. Some of the women I knew thought they were doing well because they were getting good catch guys (ie the tall hunky cop or the hunky army commander or the doctor or top tier consultant or the CFO say), but the relationships would not go past 3 mths.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Hey J, just curious what you mean by tons of success? Do you mean lots of quality guys msging you or going out on lots of dates with decent enough guys, or having lots of flings/STRs with decent guys or getting a LTR with a quality guy. I would have thought most women want success (LTR with their dream guy), and not really tons of success. Some of the women I knew thought they were doing well because they were getting good catch guys (ie the tall hunky cop or the hunky army commander or the doctor or top tier consultant or the CFO say), but the relationships generally would not go past 3 mths. I had tons of success for what I was looking for at the time. I was open to a LTR, but I was fine with just dating as well. When I say success, I mean I met a bunch of decent, nice, and fun guys who I had some great times with. Some wanted more, some didn't. I got a lot of good messages, and met with quite a few of them. Lots of the OLD ones were only 1 or 3 dates max, but who cares? I always approached dating as having fun and living in the moment. You can't be soul mates with everyone, but that doesn't mean you have to automatically cut contact just because you both won't end up together in the end. Once I got more serious about finding a man to have an LTR with, and felt I knew exactly what I was looking for, I still had success meeting men, but meeting THE man for me? Well that took time, as well it should. If every guy that came along was the right guy.... you wouldn't appreciate the right one once you had him. That could always be just me though.
CryForNoOne Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I think you are a rarity among OLD'ers. I think it is probably 90+% based on photos. Not intended as a slight of her in any way, but I don't think jaclynrae is really a rarity. I mean if a girl, gets 50 messages a day, you'd figure 10-15 of them are from good looking guys. Of those 10-15 messages, a few will be interesting. Therefore, even if a girl is NOT basing it 90% on photos, it would appear that way for the "interesting average" guy who loses out consistently to the "interesting good looking" guy. I think you need a message that makes them weak on the knees for a moment to get a reply if you are not a total stud.
Estate Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I found the profile of an old college friend of mine on POF and decided to message her just to say whats up. Its her first time using online dating and I was surprised when she told me she cant keep up with the messages. No offense to her, but in my view shes a 5...maybe a 6 at best. Thats if I had to use the number system. If I had to articulate it, Id say that I wouldnt sleep with her even if I was tipsy. Shes a great gal, but not someone I find attractive. That being said, it appears people are right when saying a girl can be super plain or not all that attractive and get loads of attention online. Its amazing how OLD turns the dating world on its head. Seems guys just message any girl. Christ...if dudes actually showed some selective-ness itd solve the problem most of them have with OLD. Online dating is not difficult at all. If you have such narrow minded and bitter views on it just because girls are turned off by your profile then you're not going to get far. Yet another typical thread on here... guy is making below par effort at something and then attacks women for not being impressed by him.
El Brujo Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I think a problem we have here is too many people RELY on OLD. Truer words were never spoken.
nofool4u Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Uh oh...dont say youre rebellious. Lord knows a white dude will get pissed off if you rebel by screwing a minority boy lol. They love using that as a reason for why any white woman goes after non-white guys. Pissed? Not at all. But if a woman says that is their preference, then why would I want to waste her time knowing she prefers something else?
Author kaylan Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Online dating is not difficult at all. If you have such narrow minded and bitter views on it just because girls are turned off by your profile then you're not going to get far. Yet another typical thread on here... guy is making below par effort at something and then attacks women for not being impressed by him. Narrow minded and bitter? Lmao Dude, people here have seen my pics and the way my profile is written. Trust me Im not turning women off, not by a long shot. Ive already discussed earlier why Im having problems where I live. And lets not pretend women on OLD arent picky. Women go on the OKC forums boasting about being able to afford being picky because of all the messages they get. Im far from the typical bitter LS poster. Open your eyes.
Estate Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Narrow minded and bitter? Lmao Dude, people here have seen my pics and the way my profile is written. Trust me Im not turning women off, not by a long shot. Ive already discussed earlier why Im having problems where I live. And lets not pretend women on OLD arent picky. Women go on the OKC forums boasting about being able to afford being picky because of all the messages they get. Im far from the typical bitter LS poster. Open your eyes. Well.. I've read some of your threads... if you're not bitter why did you post this? OLD is not hard, if you are finding it hard then either your profile or your messages are off and need fixing. But of course as is usual on LS.org... instead of a guy thinking "Well, maybe he's right, this hasn't been working, let me change it up", they go on the defensive insisting the method they are using which hasn't working is now infact working... or else all women are horrible or the world is against him, or whatever. It's EASY to get dates on OLD. If you are normal and appear to have something going for you. Women and men treat it very casually, even if you don't end up amrrying them, most are there to at least get a coffee/drink with a few people from it and see if there is any spark in person. If you're not getting that far then change it up. Stop blaming everyone and everything around you.
SJC2008 Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I jsut reactivated my acct after a 3 month break. I got responses from 2 out of 7 messages, which is good by OLD standards lol! One disappeared already though and still talking to the other. I did get a message from a woman and she messaged me the same message that women seem to HATE, "How are you?". Now how do you explain than? Women hate those messages becuse they are bulk/canned but the ones who do inititiate use the same message lol.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I jsut reactivated my acct after a 3 month break. I got responses from 2 out of 7 messages, which is good by OLD standards lol! One disappeared already though and still talking to the other. I did get a message from a woman and she messaged me the same message that women seem to HATE, "How are you?". Now how do you explain than? Women hate those messages becuse they are bulk/canned but the ones who do inititiate use the same message lol. I hate these dumb generalizations. Because some women don't like that type of intro message doesn't mean we all got together and said, "Ok, so lets complain about guys messaging like that and then send messages like that to them!" Because one woman used the "How are you?" line means that all women who initiate use it.
outsidethebox Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 SJC, are you saying that was from someone you hadn't messaged? Speaking of bulk, there are OLD spammers/scammers of the "Nigerian" kind and they bulk contact people like that. Maybe just hi. When you reply they will try to get you on Yahoo Messenger immediately. Usually a young sexy looking pic. If profile says local they will tell you they are overseas and looking to come back, otherwise profile is generally a small town in some remote place in say Alabama or Arkansas. They are only interested in men who own houses and try to find that out right away after getting you off to an IM. Intent is to steal from the guy as in a typical Nigerian scam, and in fact a good portion of them probably are Nigerians, and not women.
CryForNoOne Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I hate these dumb generalizations. Because some women don't like that type of intro message doesn't mean we all got together and said, "Ok, so lets complain about guys messaging like that and then send messages like that to them!" Because one woman used the "How are you?" line means that all women who initiate use it. Only thing it proves is that there are uninteresting members of both sexes...
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Only thing it proves is that there are uninteresting members of both sexes... Exactly. We can't all be winners.
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I hate these dumb generalizations. Because some women don't like that type of intro message doesn't mean we all got together and said, "Ok, so lets complain about guys messaging like that and then send messages like that to them!" Because one woman used the "How are you?" line means that all women who initiate use it. Lol while I love conspiracy thoeries tell me one of the biggest complaints of women who do OLD isn't the "How are you" messages? Mabye I didn't word my post properly but what I was trying to say was: For the amount of comlaints by women about "hi" messages, those are the MAJORITY of messages I get from women that initiate.
SJC2008 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 SJC, are you saying that was from someone you hadn't messaged? Yes. How's your day going? How are you? My favorite: "Hi there, just wanted to say hey there" lol. I'm trying to remember correctly. I've reveived about 10 messages from women and about 8 of them were of that form. Whatever the number was, they were the majority of messages.
chex Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 SJC, are you saying that was from someone you hadn't messaged? Speaking of bulk, there are OLD spammers/scammers of the "Nigerian" kind and they bulk contact people like that. Maybe just hi. When you reply they will try to get you on Yahoo Messenger immediately. Usually a young sexy looking pic. If profile says local they will tell you they are overseas and looking to come back, otherwise profile is generally a small town in some remote place in say Alabama or Arkansas. They are only interested in men who own houses and try to find that out right away after getting you off to an IM. Intent is to steal from the guy as in a typical Nigerian scam, and in fact a good portion of them probably are Nigerians, and not women. I'm so confused by this whole post. Nigerians can't be women? o3o 1
Keenly Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I'm so confused by this whole post. Nigerians can't be women? o3o You have never gotten the classic "Nigerian prince' money wiring scam email?
Author kaylan Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 Well.. I've read some of your threads... if you're not bitter why did you post this? OLD is not hard, if you are finding it hard then either your profile or your messages are off and need fixing.I find it hard to get quality women to take interest. I could get more dates if I dropped my standards, but I wont do that. You seem to ignore that certain types of people, especially minorities, get downright ignored on OLD. Especially when you consider that its 90%plus white in OLD and that OKC has legit stats that show people are less open to IR dating online. But of course as is usual on LS.org... instead of a guy thinking "Well, maybe he's right, this hasn't been working, let me change it up", they go on the defensive insisting the method they are using which hasn't working is now infact working... or else all women are horrible or the world is against him, or whatever.I have changed it up numerous times. My messages are fine, so is my profile. Ive had many people look it over. And Im not Shrek either. Instead of you reading this thread and possibly acknowledging that I have a point, you just try and paint me as another bitter LS guy. Far from it dude. I have no reason to be bitter. Its not like Im going years without getting laid like some guys here. It's EASY to get dates on OLD. If you are normal and appear to have something going for you. Women and men treat it very casually, even if you don't end up amrrying them, most are there to at least get a coffee/drink with a few people from it and see if there is any spark in person.Youre still ignoring the fact that many people use profile stats (race, height, weight, etc) to skip over people before ever getting to the coffe date. If you're not getting that far then change it up. Stop blaming everyone and everything around you. And how long must some of us continually change it up before people like you admit we have a great point to what we are saying? Why do I have to kow tow to women online and do a little dance just to get them to talk to me, when I dont have to do that at all in real life? 1
aj22one Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Youre still ignoring the fact that many people use profile stats (race, height, weight, etc) to skip over people before ever getting to the coffe date. haha even though I'm a dude I have to say this was one of the major selling points to me for old. haha I was meeting too many white women in real life. I was in a bit of a rut. Course I didn't meet any women on old either haha. It's a crapshoot for men.
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