kaylan Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I found the profile of an old college friend of mine on POF and decided to message her just to say whats up. Its her first time using online dating and I was surprised when she told me she cant keep up with the messages. No offense to her, but in my view shes a 5...maybe a 6 at best. Thats if I had to use the number system. If I had to articulate it, Id say that I wouldnt sleep with her even if I was tipsy. Shes a great gal, but not someone I find attractive. That being said, it appears people are right when saying a girl can be super plain or not all that attractive and get loads of attention online. Its amazing how OLD turns the dating world on its head. Seems guys just message any girl. Christ...if dudes actually showed some selective-ness itd solve the problem most of them have with OLD. 6
sweetkiwi Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Hahahaha funny!!! I was on OLD for a while and got messaged bombed too. And I am a weird girl. I feel bad for the feminine women. They probably get message nuked.
SJC2008 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 OLD will drive your standards down to your breaking point! The funny thing is when I first started doing it I never even messaged the more attractive women who I knew were out of my league. I was being realistic, at least I thought I was lol!
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Who says that just because you find her a 5 or 6 based on your personal objective scale that tons of other guys don't find her to be and 8 or 9? How arrogant. 6
sweetkiwi Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 OLD will drive your standards down to your breaking point! The funny thing is when I first started doing it I never even messaged the more attractive women who I knew were out of my league. I was being realistic, at least I thought I was lol! I dunno I think it never hurts. I had some good conversations on OLD but guys NEVER asked me on dates. I got fed up and quit. Asked a guy myself, and then he told me he never thought Id be interested in him.... Uhhm we emailed for weeks...and I had to practically invite myself on a date. Have more confidence men!!! 2
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I found the profile of an old college friend of mine on POF and decided to message her just to say whats up. Its her first time using online dating and I was surprised when she told me she cant keep up with the messages. No offense to her, but in my view shes a 5...maybe a 6 at best. Thats if I had to use the number system. If I had to articulate it, Id say that I wouldnt sleep with her even if I was tipsy. Shes a great gal, but not someone I find attractive. That being said, it appears people are right when saying a girl can be super plain or not all that attractive and get loads of attention online. Its amazing how OLD turns the dating world on its head. Seems guys just message any girl. Christ...if dudes actually showed some selective-ness itd solve the problem most of them have with OLD. The reason for this is that it's easy. It doesn't require any balls (or even all that much effort) to message a girl. IRL, if you have balls and confidence, you are WAY ahead of the game. This isn't so with online dating. Every guy is sitting behind a computer screen so it seems less real if they get rejected. Just about ALL of my male friends do online dating, while very few of them will approach girls IRL. Some of them will though and use OLD as a supplement. So not only do you have the guys that you would normally compete with IRL, but you also have guys with no balls that are afraid to approach IRL. Clearly, it's the best of both world for the women. This is why I always suggest that all of my struggling female friends do OLD. They will most likely find what they're looking for. 2
Author kaylan Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Who says that just because you find her a 5 or 6 based on your personal objective scale that tons of other guys don't find her to be and 8 or 9? How arrogant. Sorry...but despite what the PC police say, attraction is not completely subjective. There are certain things that give people objective attractiveness. Its not arrogant of me to be honest about what me and several other people I know feel about a particular persons attractiveness. Would you be whining if I said I had a friend who looked like Donald Trump and rated him a 4 or 5?
Anela Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I dunno I think it never hurts. I had some good conversations on OLD but guys NEVER asked me on dates. I got fed up and quit. Asked a guy myself, and then he told me he never thought Id be interested in him.... Uhhm we emailed for weeks...and I had to practically invite myself on a date. Have more confidence men!!! I was the one who decided not to meet anyone - I was feeling too messed up, and not in any shape to be a possible disappointment and/or be disappointed - but I'm wondering how many men would have flaked on me. I've heard that a lot of men end up keeping the messages up, but put off meeting in person. 1
ThaWholigan Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Yes, women get far more messages than men. It sounds great to us, sure, because we don't get much messages unless we look fantastic on paper. But it's probably annoying if you're a woman. I get messages in bunches (like I'll get like 5-10 in like one week) and then nothing for the next few weeks. Weird pattern I've noticed. But yeah, if you're looking for interest and nothing else, OLD is better for women in the sense that as soon as they go online they get 100s of messages - even though the messages will usually be a bunch of sh*t that she has to sift through hopelessly . While your inbox is mostly empty
Author kaylan Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 My own experiences have been that either the girl doesnt message back at all, or she messages back one or a few times and it leads nowhere, or she seems like shes messaging back for the sake of conversation but isnt that interested. In the last case I just dont reply because I dont wanna waste my time. In the other cases, I chalk it up to a girl thinking she can do better. Its really weird when a good portion of these women are girls I know I could pull in real life...but its good they dont want me, because why would I want someone who feels they can do better than me. Sometimes I truly wonder how well certain guys do with OLD. Somewhere out there are guys who run through girl after girl each week...yet these are girls he wouldnt give the time of day in real life.
Anela Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 My own experiences have been that either the girl doesnt message back at all, or she messages back one or a few times and it leads nowhere, or she seems like shes messaging back for the sake of conversation but isnt that interested. In the last case I just dont reply because I dont wanna waste my time. In the other cases, I chalk it up to a girl thinking she can do better. Its really weird when a good portion of these women are girls I know I could pull in real life...but its good they dont want me, because why would I want someone who feels they can do better than me. Sometimes I truly wonder how well certain guys do with OLD. Somewhere out there are guys who run through girl after girl each week...yet these are girls he wouldnt give the time of day in real life. I "liked" your comment until I read the last bit. A few guys that I've liked on those sites, seem to be the type who would like me in person, once they knew me - but I know I shoot myself in the foot online, and I don't look pretty enough in my pictures. I gave up. Most of my messages were of the "hey sexy" variety. I liked the sound of one guy - he talked to me like a human being, and we had a few things in common, but he has this huge beard that's off-putting. I don't like beards, and that one in particular makes him look like my sister's husband, who makes my skin crawl.
ThaWholigan Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 My own experiences have been that either the girl doesnt message back at all, or she messages back one or a few times and it leads nowhere, or she seems like shes messaging back for the sake of conversation but isnt that interested. In the last case I just dont reply because I dont wanna waste my time. In the other cases, I chalk it up to a girl thinking she can do better. Its really weird when a good portion of these women are girls I know I could pull in real life...but its good they dont want me, because why would I want someone who feels they can do better than me. Sometimes I truly wonder how well certain guys do with OLD. Somewhere out there are guys who run through girl after girl each week...yet these are girls he wouldnt give the time of day in real life. Its just the nature of "online game". Some guys can really clean up. The rules change. Sometimes when I think guys are talking about the top 20%, it really only applies to online at best. But I tell you what f*cks it up for us - the trolls who just go online and message women sh*t like "oh baby i'd ruin you" and "hey". . Then women put us all in the same bracket. Basically if she likes the way you look and you have a decent profile, she'll have ya. I narrowed my demographic last year so I knew who to message - got 2 girls out of it. That's a return of 2 girls in almost 4 years of OLD .
CptSaveAho Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 .if dudes actually showed some selective-ness itd solve the problem most of them have with OLD. Selective guys don't online date... They know the quality of women and guys that are on there.... OLD = people that are rebounding, people that think they know what they are doing, people that are superficial, people that lack self respect, people that are crazy, people that want to settle, people that are looking for sex and lie about what they really want, people that choose to be miserable and are miserable. Look at it from an outside the box perspective, what quality person can you get from sitting behind a computer and clicking a button... that involves a LOT of hard work... The people on here that are married/engaged from OLD deep down know they settled big time. Look at everyone here that posts about OLD, there is not a single post of someone being happy including yourself. Most people realize when something doesnt work, they change and find something that does work 1
Woggle Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Every successful date I ever had was done the old fashioned way. I met a few online and the dates were trainwrecks to put it mildly.
Author kaylan Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 I "liked" your comment until I read the last bit. A few guys that I've liked on those sites, seem to be the type who would like me in person, once they knew me - but I know I shoot myself in the foot online, and I don't look pretty enough in my pictures. I gave up. Most of my messages were of the "hey sexy" variety. I liked the sound of one guy - he talked to me like a human being, and we had a few things in common, but he has this huge beard that's off-putting. I don't like beards, and that one in particular makes him look like my sister's husband, who makes my skin crawl. Lol...so you judge the guy on his pics after surmising that men did the same to you and didnt give you a chance. How about we all just give people we click with a chance. I used to be waaaaay picky with OLD....but I found I talked to more women and had more interesting conversations if I treated like real life....in that if someone seems interesting, talk to them. Instead of me going and looking for dealbreakers or looking for the exact perfect match. Perfection is perception, and an unreal perception at that.
aj22one Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I literally never got a response when I did old. haha I never had a problem getting dates away from those sites though haha.
Author kaylan Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Selective guys don't online date... They know the quality of women and guys that are on there....My best friend is very selective and met his great gf on eHarmony. He did have to go deal with some lamers though. Personally I know the quality of women on POF is rather low...but OKC isnt too bad. It just seems that OLD is filled with too many time wasters and people who have over-inflated value perceptions. OLD = people that are rebounding, people that think they know what they are doing, people that are superficial, people that lack self respect, people that are crazy, people that want to settle, people that are looking for sex and lie about what they really want, people that choose to be miserable and are miserable.People that want to settle? Haha I dont see people trying to settle using OLD. If anything they refuse to settle on what they really want. Look at it from an outside the box perspective, what quality person can you get from sitting behind a computer and clicking a button... that involves a LOT of hard work...Its really a hard luck of the draw. I dont expect much from OLD. Its a supplement as I hone my real life interactions. The people on here that are married/engaged from OLD deep down know they settled big time. Look at everyone here that posts about OLD, there is not a single post of someone being happy including yourself. Most people realize when something doesnt work, they change and find something that does work I will never settle though. Let that fact be super known. And I wouldnt say everyone here settled. Some people are quite happy with whom they are partnered.
SJC2008 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Selective guys don't online date... They know the quality of women and guys that are on there.... OLD = people that are rebounding, people that think they know what they are doing, people that are superficial, people that lack self respect, people that are crazy, people that want to settle, people that are looking for sex and lie about what they really want, people that choose to be miserable and are miserable. Look at it from an outside the box perspective, what quality person can you get from sitting behind a computer and clicking a button... that involves a LOT of hard work... The people on here that are married/engaged from OLD deep down know they settled big time. Look at everyone here that posts about OLD, there is not a single post of someone being happy including yourself. Most people realize when something doesnt work, they change and find something that does work Good point and pretty sums up OLD IME. The majority of women are rebounding, have unrealistic expectaions or are unhealthy (controlling, bitter etc.). I got into a debate yesterday with another poster about the quality of people online vs IRL. 1
Anela Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Lol...so you judge the guy on his pics after surmising that men did the same to you and didnt give you a chance. How about we all just give people we click with a chance. I used to be waaaaay picky with OLD....but I found I talked to more women and had more interesting conversations if I treated like real life....in that if someone seems interesting, talk to them. Instead of me going and looking for dealbreakers or looking for the exact perfect match. Perfection is perception, and an unreal perception at that. It's the beard - I don't like it. and I'm not going to ask that he shave it just so I can go out with him. What was that you were saying about attraction? the girl you mentioned is nice, but you aren't attracted to her. There are other things we don't have in common, too. Re: the other guys. They don't respond to my messages! Or they act like I would make a great friend, but nothing more, if they respond at all. So why should I give be out there with men I'm not attracted to, when you won't do the same thing??
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 It's the beard - I don't like it. and I'm not going to ask that he shave it just so I can go out with him. What was that you were saying about attraction? the girl you mentioned is nice, but you aren't attracted to her. There are other things we don't have in common, too. LOL I hope you aren't one of the people that complains about being single. EDIT: Just noticed the second part of your post. Seems like you are.
Anela Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 LOL I hope you aren't one of the people that complains about being single. EDIT: Just noticed the second part of your post. Seems like you are. Actually, I'm feeling better about being single now; I used to be happily single, until a few years ago. It was a shy, bitter guy, who ended up complaining a lot about women and their expectations, who broke my heart, so don't give me that crap.
MrCastle Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 OLD is absolutely ridiculous. You can't take it seriously. I'm glad you're starting to see it. 1
ChessPieceFace Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 if dudes actually showed some selective-ness itd solve the problem most of them have with OLD. Wrong. Mating isn't cooperative, it's competitive. So while some guys are being "selective" other guys are trying to get it on with everything that moves and succeeding. I'm not one of them, but at least I know how the stupidity of the game works.
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