Compromize Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Need some input/help/guidance. Broke up with my ex last year, lots of back story. Have a thread for it already. Got back together for a short time 5 weeks or so, broke up again. About a month ago we had a phone conversation, wasn't a good one, we were just re-hashing old issues. At the end of it, she says she needs to be the one to say goodbye and says "Goodbye Honey" and hangs up on me. Called her back 3 times, left pleading voice mails. Nothing. I never said goodbye to her, told her I wouldn't accept it. I know the hardest thing to do is give up, give up hope. And that is what I am trying to do. No rebounding, nothing to mask it, just accept it's over and kill hope and move on alone and learn from this and be better in the future. My question is this: Part of me wants to to say goodbye to her. Not yet, but when I am ready to really say goodbye. Part of the reason is because I want her to hear it and feel it like I have. That's not good I know. Part of it so I can really try to move on and let her go. I don't want to let her go but she is already gone so I have to face reality. Really I want to show up at her door and get her back but that's not going to fix any of the problems that got us here in the first place. Reality again. What do you fine people think? Should I break NC at some point or sooner to say Goodbye or just continue NC and not say it to her?
Simon Phoenix Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Don't break it for that. Going NC is goodbye.
ThatJustHappened Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Definitely don't do it. That's not goodbye, it's an attempt to open the door for future contact.
Author Compromize Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Definitely don't do it. That's not goodbye, it's an attempt to open the door for future contact Yes. I feel like if I just tried I could get her back. Hard to kill that feeling. Don't break it for that. Going NC is goodbye. I know. I don't think I could ever really say goodbye to her and mean it, love this woman like I have never loved before and I am no young man. Guess I need to face the facts that she doesn't want to be with me. Sick of hoping every phone call, every text, every e-mail, every car that pulls up is her. Giving up is the hardest damn part.
ThatJustHappened Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 So really what you're asking is, do we think that if you said goodbye to her, she would magically realize what she's missing. The answer to that is probably not. Sorry to be harsh, but you need to give up. There's no telling what will happen in the future but you need to assume it will never happen and proceed as if there's no chance. That's the only way to heal. Sorry you're hurting..
Author Compromize Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 So really what you're asking is, do we think that if you said goodbye to her, she would magically realize what she's missing. The answer to that is probably not. Sorry to be harsh, but you need to give up. There's no telling what will happen in the future but you need to assume it will never happen and proceed as if there's no chance. That's the only way to heal. Sorry you're hurting.. Thank you ThatJustHappened. I need a heavy dose of in your face or I might just break and do what I have done the last, what 6,7,8? times we have broken up; proceed to get her back through any means possible. And I have. And here I am again. The best indication of future behavior is past behavior. This rings true. I told her and told myself that I would never be here again. And she promised me she would never leave me again. Well she also promised some other man until death do us part, as did I with another woman. I am thankful for this site and the people on here. They say misery loves company and that is also true. At least we are not alone in our misery. I guess I can say it here. Goodbye my love.
The Tallest One Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Compromise, your situation sounds almost exactly like mine, another relationship full of start and stops! I also said after second last breakup that I wouldn't let her do it again, we'll here I am as well! Really letting go is very hard and painful but we have to start putting ourselves first and realize that these kinds of relationships are not healthy for us and will only continue to hurt us and our self esteem! Give it time, be patient with yourself and know as I do that time is what heals!
Recommended Posts