IAmRobot Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 With my casual girl, who recently I became really close to. Yesterday she asked me if I want to keep seeing other people. I asked her the same question as an answer, but she made me answer first. So I told her I wasn't really looking for anyone else. Then I asked her. She told me her head is in one place and one place only. I told her I am happy with that. I am not sure what we are at this point? I also am a bit bothered by the fact that she doesn't seem completely infatuated / in love with me. Oh also last time she was over she told me about this 2 guys asking her out (she's pretty hot, so gets hit on a good amount). When I opened my PC after she left, I saw she had left the page on one of these 2 guys profile..... Confused. Am I too in my head?
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 You bump every dang thread after like an hour. You need to be PATIENT, not just with LS but with your pseudo GF. On March 2nd you said she was crying to you about the last guy she was in a R with. You started off this "thing" with her super casual 8 months ago because she'd just had her heart broken by the aforementioned guy. You're basically a long-term rebound/ego stroke.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Yeah, I agree with SG. It seems as though you are upset that she isn't more into you, but you yourself stated that this was a "casual relationship." I'm unsure why you "bump" threads....
Lauriebell82 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Amendment to my post, I didn't realize that the other thread I posted in was you too. You said in the other one that she wasn't even your GF, and that you hurt her because of talking to other girls. This is conflicting information, I would advise that you try to stick to one story and post one thread at a time in order to get constructive advice.
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 You bump every dang thread after like an hour. You need to be PATIENT, not just with LS but with your pseudo GF. On March 2nd you said she was crying to you about the last guy she was in a R with. You started off this "thing" with her super casual 8 months ago because she'd just had her heart broken by the aforementioned guy. You're basically a long-term rebound/ego stroke. I posted on Mar 2nd - but it happened in early February. I've been very patient with her. Here I'm not, since it's like a "wasting time method" during exam time . ... so if I was a rebound/ego stroke, should I just quit? And why would she ask me for us "to not date other people" if I'm just an ego stroke?
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I posted on Mar 2nd - but it happened in early February. On March 2nd you said the last time you saw her she was crying to you. So, on March 2nd you hadn't seen her since early February? That proves my point even more: casual, long-term rebound. You KNOW that something isn't right, that her feelings are NOWHERE near yours, hence your repeated threads about her. And why would she ask me for us "to not date other people" if I'm just an ego stroke? Did she ASK you not to? Or did she ask you if you wanted to? Your title and OP sounds like she was inquiring about what YOU want, not what SHE wants. That said: Yup. It's not ego stroking to her if she thinks you want other girls, now is it? Nope, only if you're whipped on her, which you clearly are, because you've been putting up with this for 8 months, including her crying to you just last month about her feelings for another dude.
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I would advise that you try to stick to one story and post one thread at a time in order to get constructive advice. Agreed, really. OP: It seems like you're posting in order to get validation for what you want to happen or how you see things, rather than what they really are.
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 She told me her head is in one place and one place only. Do you even know what she meant by this? She's been crying to you about another guy... Are you assuming she was talking about you?
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 On March 2nd you said the last time you saw her she was crying to you. So, on March 2nd you hadn't seen her since early February? That proves my point even more: casual, long-term rebound. You KNOW that something isn't right, that her feelings are NOWHERE near yours, hence your repeated threads about her. Did she ASK you not to? Or did she ask you if you wanted to? Your title and OP sounds like she was inquiring about what YOU want, not what SHE wants. That said: Yup. It's not ego stroking to her if she thinks you want other girls, now is it? Nope, only if you're whipped on her, which you clearly are, because you've been putting up with this for 8 months, including her crying to you just last month about her feelings for another dude. Ok sometimes, I don't explain myself very clearly. It's hard to explain every single convo and body language. She told me about this guy who had asked her out. (We usually tell each other about other people who fancy us). I told her that maybe she should give it a try. She seemed confused and asked me if I wanted her to date other people. I told her if she wants to she can. She seemed sad and kept asking me what I WANTED. After 4-5 times, I finally budged and told her I didn't want her to want to see other people. I asked if she wants me to see other people. She said NO immediately. On top of all this, she also thinks I am hung up on my ex (I kind of em) and she gets really bothered by that. Other than that atm, we txt/talk every day and hang out 2-3x / week. She's told me she's afraid that I will create some other bond with some other girl. I have reassured her multiple times with my words that I am into her 100%, although my actions are so so... i.e I get really lost when I listen to some song that reminds of my ex... and I think she notices. To sum it up I feel her very interested when we're together and when we talk, but not in an infatuated obsessed kind of way. BUMP
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Do you even know what she meant by this? She's been crying to you about another guy... Are you assuming she was talking about you? She cried to me about another guy cheating on her about a month ago... She was "kind of" seeing us both at the time. Forget about when I posted it. He has been contacting her every day all day asking her to keep contact. She hasn't. I would say IMHO she is completely over him. Read above post for more info Thanks for chatting it up with me btw
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 She told me about this guy who had asked her out. (We usually tell each other about other people who fancy us). I told her that maybe she should give it a try. She seemed confused and asked me if I wanted her to date other people. I told her if she wants to she can. She seemed sad and kept asking me what I WANTED. After 4-5 times, I finally budged and told her I didn't want her to want to see other people. I asked if she wants me to see other people. She said NO immediately. Nowhere did SHE say that SHE did not want to see other people, just that she doesn't want YOU to.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Ok sometimes, I don't explain myself very clearly. It's hard to explain every single convo and body language. She told me about this guy who had asked her out. (We usually tell each other about other people who fancy us). I told her that maybe she should give it a try. She seemed confused and asked me if I wanted her to date other people. I told her if she wants to she can. She seemed sad and kept asking me what I WANTED. After 4-5 times, I finally budged and told her I didn't want her to want to see other people. I asked if she wants me to see other people. She said NO immediately. On top of all this, she also thinks I am hung up on my ex (I kind of em) and she gets really bothered by that. Other than that atm, we txt/talk every day and hang out 2-3x / week. She's told me she's afraid that I will create some other bond with some other girl. I have reassured her multiple times with my words that I am into her 100%, although my actions are so so... i.e I get really lost when I listen to some song that reminds of my ex... and I think she notices. To sum it up I feel her very interested when we're together and when we talk, but not in an infatuated obsessed kind of way. BUMP Why does this matter to you, if you are hung up on your ex and lied to the girl about being 100% into her? Do you want her to be infatuated/obsessed with you, despite you not feeling that for her?
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Nowhere did SHE say that SHE did not want to see other people, just that she doesn't want YOU to. Sorry I skipped that info (it's hard to keep up). After she asked me 4-5 times and I budged. She said that when her head is in one place she cannot even think about anything else (this was said hugging my chest). Now unless we were just lost in translation, I assumed that meant she didn't want to and her head was on me atm. Another piece of info. She is used to her bfs giving her lots of attention. Contact every day. Lots of emotion showing. She puts out a lot too. She tells me she cares about me a lot she says I'm herrrs in a childish way . I tell her she needs to work more to make me fully hers (again in a funny way). Im definitely not a doormat, but I've noticed she likes attention A LOT, so I show a lot of emotion to her, keep up the contact (although she has to initiate ~50%) and I "act" slightly jealous a few times, when she tells me about guys hitting on her. My phone was ringing a lot when we were having sex yesterday and she said I should tell my gfs to stop calling me
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 She said that when her head is in one place she cannot even think about anything else (this was said hugging my chest). I repeat: She has not said to you that she does not want to date anyone other than you. She simply has not said that.
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Why does this matter to you, if you are hung up on your ex and lied to the girl about being 100% into her? Do you want her to be infatuated/obsessed with you, despite you not feeling that for her? Honestly, I'm not THAT hung up on my ex. She is just a part of my past. A big part of it. She messages me from time to time, telling me how good of a time we had and how she'll wait for me blablabla. She's now in another country. I AM INTO MY GIRL 100%. I think I might be infatuated with her atm. I am just really good at hiding my obsession and not being clingy. I could see her all day every day and be happy (and unhealthy)
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 I repeat: She has not said to you that she does not want to date anyone other than you. She simply has not said that. LOL OKKK. Next time I will ask her straight up if we are going to see other people. Oh wait. Along this convo (a bit before or after), I teased her about her date with a guy friend of hers (I know him, just-friends). She said she doesn't date others....
Lauriebell82 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Sorry I skipped that info (it's hard to keep up). After she asked me 4-5 times and I budged. She said that when her head is in one place she cannot even think about anything else (this was said hugging my chest). Now unless we were just lost in translation, I assumed that meant she didn't want to and her head was on me atm. Another piece of info. She is used to her bfs giving her lots of attention. Contact every day. Lots of emotion showing. She puts out a lot too. She tells me she cares about me a lot she says I'm herrrs in a childish way . I tell her she needs to work more to make me fully hers (again in a funny way). Im definitely not a doormat, but I've noticed she likes attention A LOT, so I show a lot of emotion to her, keep up the contact (although she has to initiate ~50%) and I "act" slightly jealous a few times, when she tells me about guys hitting on her. My phone was ringing a lot when we were having sex yesterday and she said I should tell my gfs to stop calling me Sounds like you guys are just playing around with each other, so just leave it at that. No need to continue to analyze the situation to death.
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 LOL OKKK. Next time I will ask her straight up if we are going to see other people. That's what you should have been doing before your very first of the many threads you've started about her: talk to her, about her and what she wants, and what she specifically wants with you. You're putting words in her mouth. Ask her straight up: "Are we an exclusive couple?" And yeah, as much as you say you're not obsessed... ummm...
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Sounds like you guys are just playing around with each other, so just leave it at that. No need to continue to analyze the situation to death. I agree. But Id rather analyze this situation than study for my EXAMS :sick:
Author IAmRobot Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 And yeah, as much as you say you're not obsessed... ummm... I never said I'm not obsessed. I said I'm good at hiding my obsession
Lauriebell82 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 It seems like you keep changing your story around OP, with each subsequent response. It's hard to continue to understand the dynamic, so I would just stand by what I said in the previous post, to stop analyzing the situation and asking for more advice on it if you are going to provide conflicting info. 1
Star Gazer Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I agree. But Id rather analyze this situation than study for my EXAMS :sick: How old are you both?
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