AwptiK Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I'm curious as to my ex (dumper)'s motivation on removing me from Facebook. We broke up three days ago, because the time constraints in her life (kid+nursing school) are preventing her from being able to commit the proper time to a relationship. No, there is TRULY no other reason besides bad timing. I'll explain how open/blunt/honest we were together if you must insist. Initial breakup was over text, because she was still at school (b/u prompted by back-to-back bad grades). After NC in between, yesterday morning we spoke on the phone before she went to school and everything ended on good terms and it was fair for both of us. I ended the call saying I hope she does well in school and to take care. Shortly after, I noticed she removed me from her facebook. I definitely didn't want to talk right away, because I know we can't be friends, so I was going to be NC, do my own thing, etc. I asked why via text, noting that there were no hard feelings, I definitely want to be cool in-time, and that I wasn't going to be some naggy-ex since things ended how and why they did. She replied saying she "just wants some space right now". I said "I can do that", to a "ok thank you" reply. I'm not going to deny I miss her and it sucks to have something great end from bad timing, but i'm not upset outside of that, because I do understand and respect the situation and how it wasn't something that could've been avoided. I never showed weakness on the phone, just understanding....that's what makes me wonder why the deletion? I also never really post statuses on fb at all either, so it's not like i'd have popped up on her feed unless she went looking. The only reasonable thing I can think of, is that I could tell she was actually starting to sound upset as the call went on and talking loudly to keep from crying. Perhaps she simply had the situation hit her for the first time (since she hasn't had a break from school/kid since the original b/u) and doesn't want to see my name for a while. I do know, that today-Monday might be even worse for her, since today started her weekend and I was supposed to be helping her move today, and then Monday marks what would've been our 3rd month. Oh well. In super-summary, i'm curious as to a dumper doing the fb deletion, when I haven't been trying, texting, begging, etc., and when I truly understand and respect the situation. I know we can't be friends right now and I wasn't going to talk to her for a long time myself. I might've even found myself doing the deletion if I came to find I was looking out for her on fb. (I do kind of wish that the lines of communication were open so I could eventually tell her in a week or two that I totally understand and respect her decision.) I guess, it might be fair to say that considering the circumstances of the breakup, she might be dealing with the same pains as the usual dumpee? It's pretty understood we'd be together if school hadn't gotten stressful with the start of her new block of classes. This is soooo long, and i'm sorry, so i'll stop here
Blastoplast Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 There's probably some feelings there and maybe they don't want to be reminded of what you're up to because it hurts them -- even if they are the dumper. I had to remove my EX from facebook last week because her status updates were getting to me, along with myself compulsively checking her page nearly a year after our break-up (7 years together though).
GB25 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Hey sorry to hear you're situation.. Not to sound like a dik, but why does any ex delete someone from FB? Because it hurts to see you..even if she did the dumping her feelings dont automatically go away. So im sure she deleted you to help her heal. So if you were fishing to hear that it hurts her to see your pics and status etc..wellll here you go
Author AwptiK Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 I appreciate your reply Blastoplast and GB25. I was already pretty sure that my assumptions were right...that she was hurting too and didn't want to come across my name for a while. I guess it helps to hear that from others. I wasn't exactly fishing to know she hurts, but moreso to see that it wasn't some message to me, like "f off". I guess any "f off" message wouldn't be the case though, considering I left off on good and understanding terms. Not to mention, she did it after the call, when I could tell she was actually becoming sad, not two days prior after the breakup itself. I'm pretty sure that was the first time she may have even felt it. Thanks guys for your insight.
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