Devinath Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I would appreciate advice and insight into the following relationship issue. About fifteen years ago, I met a woman named Sherry. We fell in love and shared a very passionate and meaningful time. We were together for a year and a half. Sherry had a baby named Nick. Her ex killed him in an auto accident. I was there at her apartment when the cops came to tell her the news. She was devastated, of course. The accident blew us apart. Two years later, approximately, I met her again and asked her back into my life. She refused..still in deep grief. So we went our separate ways. I went back to school and got a degree and a new career. She remarried twice. We didn't talk for 12 years. In the Spring of 2011 she contacted me. She wanted to talk. At first I resisted, but then relented. We met at a Barnes and Noble. She cried terribly hard. But when we met, all the old feelings returned. So we renewed our relationship. But, she was married at the time but unhappily. Over the next year I supported her, both financially and emotionally through the divorce. We were lovers and friends. The divorce was final in December and I felt that once this happened, we would be free to pursue our relationship unemcumbered. She said that she too felt that once the divorce was final, that she could give herself to me completely. However, things began to change. She said that she was beginning to have difficult feelings around the divorce. She had been married to Jeff for nine years. She helped raise his son whom she missed terribly. She had also begun a new job as a social worker which kept her long hours. Finding time together began to be difficult. We had disagreements about getting together. We were usually seeing one another about twice a week. Around March 11, she went to see her therapist. Her therapist told her that she needed a break. That she needed to focus on herself. Then she told me. She told me that we needed to end the relationship..that it would be easier for her to be on her own. She said that she was still in love with me, but that there was too much pressure. That she could barely take care of herself. She went on to say that while she was apart from me, that she would not be unfaithful. She said that if she decided to get involved in a relationship again, that it would be with me. However, she also said that she could not expect me to wait for her or even what to do. I was heart broken. Even on the last day we had together, she called me her sunshine and even asked if something were to ever happen to her dog, Yoshi, would I take care of him. All through these past two years, she continually professed her love for me, calling me her best friend and love. Now we are apart. It is difficult for me to believe that after what we shared fifteen years ago, and the fact that she loved me all that time we were apart, and now after two more years of love and sharing, that she would just walk away. She stated that was she wasn't leaving because she wasn't in love with with me anymore or that it wasn't something I had done or hadn' t done. She just said that she didn't want to be responsible for anyone but herself. When I asked her if there was any hope for us, she said she could not give me that assurance. She said she didn't know and could I just let things be. What am I to think? I am in a bit of a shock. For two more years we spoke of being together..she even asked me at one point whether I would be willing to adopt a child. What should I do? Any insight or advice is welcome. Thank you.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 What should I do? Do not walk away--run. Put this in your past and move on. She's bad news.
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