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Posted

Why do you feel you got involved in an EMA? Whether you were a WS or OM/OW. What are the reasons you can come up with as to why you did it? And what can you do in the future to prevent (if it has ended of course) it from happening again.

Posted
Why do you feel you got involved in an EMA? Whether you were a WS or OM/OW. What are the reasons you can come up with as to why you did it? And what can you do in the future to prevent (if it has ended of course) it from happening again.

 

I got involved with him originally because I was lonely and sexually frustrated. And apparently naive to think that it wouldn't matter.

He was a friend of friends...(not as has been implied some random guy I picked up in a bar) and I'd known him peripherally for a while. We actually "met" at first online and knew he was a nice guy. When I decided I wanted to basically just sleep with someone, I knew his situation, I knew his wife had basically given the go ahead for him (which I did confirm) and I knew he'd be receptive. I asked. It sounds sordid but it was "logical" in my mind. No harm no foul.

It should have been the end of it. Wham, bam.. and thank you very much.

 

Except for one little problem. While the sex was great, we liked one another as people. The ice had been broken by us spending time together physically and we started talking. Not sexually, it really never occured to either of us to sleep together again. That wasn't the purpose of what was going on, we were just chatting and talking and being friends. Neither of us hid a damn thing at that time, saw no reason to. And then we realized the level of attraction that was there. I should have walked away then, especially since the reason I had ever entered into the "logical no strings plan" was beccause I was determined to not let anyone get attached to me, or me to them.

FAIL. MAJOR, SERIOUS Fail.

 

The rest is history.

 

Would I be foolish enough ever again to think I could sleep with someone that I liked well enough to sleep with and think that there would be no attachment? no potential for involvement, no. Would I change it? No.

Posted

Good question Loredo21.

 

I was so incredibly lonely. My now exH had walked out of me almost 6 yrs earlier.

 

 

I had kids to finish raising a mortgage and a big ole yard to mow, to put it mildly.

 

So, I began working my full time job, took on a part time job and then did side work as well. I got in great shape, thought I was doing better actually. I was just going on with life. I certainly wasn't looking for anyone.

 

The MM who knew my son, was taking him fishing, spending alot of time with him, helping him with mechanical issues on a vehicle, kept coming to our home.

 

He made friendly with me and I really didn't think anything of it. I called him one day to thank him for helping fix a vehicle. Once my number showed up on his phone, he kept calling me. I did think it was odd, but dismissed it as being nothing more than interest in my son.

 

He knew how to direct the conversation, so as to make it ok to call.I admit to being gullible, now that I think back.

Posted
You actually asked his wife and she said go ahead?

 

I've answered this before. Go ahead wasn't her response, it was a lot crasser than that. But yeah, she's always known that part. She just doesn't know we've been in love for years.

Posted

He was "Separated"

I was naive and I thought we could be friends and talk all day and go out on "non-dates" and that that's where it will stay and it'll be great!!

 

I didn't even know what an emotional affair was until I was in the middle of it.

Posted
He was "Separated"

I was naive and I thought we could be friends and talk all day and go out on "non-dates" and that that's where it will stay and it'll be great!!

 

I didn't even know what an emotional affair was until I was in the middle of it.

 

I'd never heard the phrase emotional affair til I found this board.

And apparently I was having one.

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Posted
Why do you feel you got involved in an EMA? Whether you were a WS or OM/OW. What are the reasons you can come up with as to why you did it? And what can you do in the future to prevent (if it has ended of course) it from happening again.

 

It feels good, it is exciting. It gave me a sense that I still have it. It is a fun thing to do. It is that simple. I never went beyond EA or fell in love. But it was addictive and made my work much more fun.

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