Contemplating breaking NC, just checking if i'm being reasonable or need to continue.

[hello1990]

I'm just seeing if what is here is reasonable or if i'm just longing for any excuse to contact her.

 

My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago, she dumped me, although during which we discussed it quite at length and we both decided that it was a good thing for both of us. There was no begging or me disagreeing, I discussed it with her and helped to confirm her decision, as it was something I had been thinking for a while too. She was remarkably cold during it.

 

Our problems stemmed from the fact that we had natural lifestyle incompatibilities, which lead to fighting. Over the past few weeks we began fighting about basically everything and it seemed like a day or two never passed without us bickering. Our core personalities matched well, our interests and we clicked, but our lifestyles were drastically different.

 

The conversation that lead to the breakup was after a night we had went out together, we got into a small bickering which continued on into home, she decided that she didn't want to do it anymore and we couldn't make it work and I agreed. I went home that night and we havn't spoken since. She stressed she didn't really want to lose contact but I said since it was usually easier that way.

 

However basically Ive felt a bit bad how things ended, in the breakup speech we said mean things about eachother (not really mean, but she felt I was too uptight about many things, I felt her attitude and views on some things were wrong, etc) and you only had to look back two month prior to it and we were extremely close and reliant on each other and got along well.

 

But since I never spoke to her following this ive been tempted to write her an email or something. I don't even know what id say yet, I feel some sort of post breakup reflection would be useful and in all honesty I just feel like saying a few nice things because we were ultimately incompatible but I have nothing against her.

 

The problem is, its been a few weeks now and while I would never want to be back together with her, I do kind of miss her on that basic "I want to hug them" kind of human level. Although a relationship with her would not be something I desire. Also she had 'checked out' so to speak a few weeks before the breakup, I could really tell, so I'm not sure if she had another guy lined up or something like that, which would make me feel a bit of a fool if I contacted her. Another thing is if she writes back saying mean things or if she just ignores me it could really cause trauma for myself. I also don't want to say something i'll regret, or rehash something that she feels she has washed her hands of and is getting on with life.

 

Due to us living about 20 minutes drive away its unlikely id ever just run into her, and since she never contacted me following the breakup (which i'm surprised at) then there is a good chance we may just never speak again.

 

Too long didn't read: Ended with ex 2 weeks ago, feel like sending her an email just outlining a few things, but I think this could just be my hormones acting up. Is this a really bad idea?

[WhatYouWantToHear]

Is this a really bad idea?[/QUOTe]

 

No. Of course, that doesn't make it a good idea. What do you want to come of this? What's the best case scenario, what's the worst case scenario? Then pretend you're not emotionally involved and determine what the most likley scenario is.

 

Now, since you can't do that emotionally uninvolved thing I talked about, let me do it for you: You say you guys aren't fundamentally compatible. You say you don't want to get back with her. No good scenario is comes from contacting her. Let it be.