Why does a woman want a man that's "Serious" about his career?

[PhillyDude]

If this economy was on a upswing, as you would say, a person like me should be an easy target for a hire at an entry-level job like Burger King or McDonald's.

 

I, as a potential employee, has:

1. 2 years of cashier/janitor experience at Target

2. Doesn't smoke.

3. Doesn't drink.

4. Has access to public transportation.

5. Open availability

6. Is willing to do any job provided I get suitable training

7. No police record of any kind.

8. Willing to accept minimal working pay

9. Doesn't job hop

10. Willing to work 35-40 hours a week

11. Has no tattoos.

 

I'm not sure what else to add. I would think I would be able to find some trash job pretty quickly given the quality of employees I see at fast-food places so I can get my butt back on my feet and start going for what I really want.

 

Yet all I got to show for it is a big, fat bag of air.

 

I'm not buying this "economy on an upswing" BS. If it is, Jacksonville FL was clearly exempt from it.

 

 

I think upswing means there tons of

 

part-time jobs

seasonal jobs

temp jobs

 

being posted on a daily which has no benefits

[ltjg45]

I think upswing means there tons of

 

part-time jobs

seasonal jobs

temp jobs

 

being posted on a daily which has no benefits

 

Unfortunately, part-time jobs is not going to get me a place to stay. Same with Seasonal or Temporary Jobs.

 

That's just false hope.

[jma500]

Don't even waste time responding to that idiot. When you are unemployed there are some weeks when you see nothing to apply to at all which is out of your control.

 

And time goes so fast when you are not working, 2 months is gone just like that

 

I refuse to respond to that fool anymore. I have gone through dry spells as you have said. Luckily i have my photography, working out with my cousin, and hanging out with a good friend. The time travels by really fast. I hate not working.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Oh gosh kaylan... really? Because you know the ins and outs of the way our relationship functions. I'll try my best...

 

 

You say status doesnt mean much now. Talk to me when you two are struggling to get by on his Walmart salary. Status isnt the end all be all, but people need to have their life together. Im glad hes making strides, but I can see this relationship failing...and then you having a "been there, done that, wont do it again" attitude about guys like him when you are older. Im only 26, and even i see the naivety of youth in all this.

 

Struggling to get by on a Walmart salary? He makes OK money, actually brought in about 27k last year, which while isn't a LOT of money, is definitely livable. Who are you to say he doesn't have his life together? So because he works at a place that people deem "low" and he is still working on his college education makes him not have his life together? You see the relationship failing? Based on what? 26 huh? So you are only 3 years older, don't act so high and mighty kaylan, it is unflattering, not to mention pompous.

 

 

Im not saying you shouldnt be with him because of his status. Im saying his lack of an education or career is why hes dating a young girl in her 20s. And Im saying both of your statuses will make life difficult...especially if youre both trying to get by on one low status. Yes, I believe in love above all else...but money and living comfortably can be a huge problem in a relationship. Especially one thats moved very fast early on before you TRULY know one another.

I get that we all have our stories. but you yourself still dont know this man much yet. Despite his story, many of us have direct control over the direction our life takes and many of us sometimes make poor decisions in our youth. Props to him for getting things going, but a rushed relationship on a meager salary will only make school and work harder for him. Especially now that hes responsible for you until you get on your feet.

 

 

So my age is the mere reason he is dating me? You can say that but ultimately he has been with women who were even older. Sure, the fact that we are in similar stages in life helps the relationship, he doesn't talk down to me like I am a child, which is exactly something you seem to do. I value that.

Both of our status' in life will make it difficult? What makes you think this is the end all? Keep talking about status because he works at walmart, but another thing I value about him is that fact that he handles his money well. He lives off of an ok budget, and manages to save at the same time. He is a smart man kaylan, I don't know what made you automatically assume that he is struggling in life. He has his own place, pays all his bills, pays for his own schooling, and still manages to be able to take me out every once in a while. I don't see things getting difficult what so ever. Wouldnt you agree that a man who is smart with his earnings already is in the right place?

And by god, he is in no way responsible for me. No idea where you got that from. He is being emotionally supportive, but as you failed to notice, I happened to also be smart before I lost my job and have a pretty good nest egg. I pay my share of the rent, pay half the groceries, still manage to pay my bills and it is more than enough to support myself for a few months.

 

Good on him for being sober. But whos fault and whos bad habits ruined his life up until a little while ago? It was all on him. Why judge a man for who hes been? Because any person is judged on the choices they make. Their choices make them who they are. And you hardly know who this guy truly is. Once youve been with him a year and have gone through the ups and downs and intimacy of really living together for a while...then you can tell me how much you know him.

Its good he works hard...but hes still a product of his past. And hes still making poor decisions by deciding to take care of someone when hes gotta take care of himself and get through school on his wage.

 

Here you go again judging and having no idea what you are talking about. I don't know who he truly is? Please tell me kaylan, tell me where the line that divides the black and white lies? When will I be able to say that I know who he is? We have spent the entire last 5 months of our relationship inseperable. More time than some couples spend together in the first year. Sure, there could be some things that I will learn about him, but how dare you say that I have no idea who he truly is. We have REALLY been living together for 5 months. It hasn't been peachy constantly... but it has been pretty damn awesome. I've been without work for a month now, I would say that is a pretty big rough patch to work through, and he has been nothing but supportive and understanding. THAT is something I value more than status in a man as well.

 

Him making a poor choice? That right there is what proved to me you are talking straight out of your ass. I think I have clarified that he is more than capable of taking care of himself, and that his life is in fact... in order.

His alcoholism almost killed him, and for 2.5 years he has not only battled and conquered a DISEASE but has also made a better life for himself. I am so proud and blessed to have him. Poor decisions my ass, he is a man who overcame a disease that takes many and has a life now where he is going to end up being someone rather than dead. The best part? The fact that he doesn't look back and wallow in it. He looks to the future, totally understands that this suckiness of working this hard to live and pay his way through school is all temporary, just as I know my situation is. So tell me, how does he not have his own life together? What more should I have expected from him?

 

 

Who am I? Im a realist who feels people need to wake up and smell the coffee. I screwed around before college as well...but I did that in my late teens and grew up and decided to hit school at 20/21. And I put myself through school with loans and crappy jobs. Lord knows I wasnt willingly taking on someone else as a responsibility before getting on my feet.

 

I just feel both of you needed to be more smart about some things. Just honesty. I wish you guys the best...but like Ninja told you...things dont look good from an outside view. But maybe Im wrong. Id like to not think hes an older guy who wasted his youth and will possibly waste soem of yours...but when youre both making poor and rushed decisions, Ima be honest.

 

Getting on your feet? Where do you get this **** from? How is he "getting on his feet"... my man is already standing strong, not to mention walking in the direction he wants his life to go. You got your **** together and went to school at 20/21, good for you, I got a late start and am doing the same thing. He got a late start as well. But by god, not only is he in school, but he is working towards something he is passionate about. You wouldn't know this, because you don't know him, but he happens to be an extremely intelligent man and was actually just accepted into a study abroad program through university. He also plans on getting a masters believe it or not, and he works hard, taking care of himself and his body, and his schooling. How is that NOT a man who has his **** together? Because he isn't in his career job yet? Because he is 31 and just 3 years ago got his life on track? Tear apart our relationship and him all you want but I can't think of anyone more STABLE. Stable doesn't always mean wealthy. Stable is more SMART.

Poor and rushed decisions... I will state again. You have NO idea what you are talking about.

 

 

But as I said. Prove me wrong. And really pull your weight. Hurry up and take any full time job you can get so hes not stressed with pulling all the living expenses on his own. Schools expensive, and its stressful. And if hes eligible and not doing it already, getting financial aid is a big help...esp if he gets enough where he has a refund that can pay for books and living expenses. My refunds helped me pay for gas, books, food, and rent.

Here it is again, the assumption that just because I lost my job means that he obviously takes care of me entirely.

Then there is the fatherly tone again, how old do you think I am kaylan? Schools expensive? THANK GOD YOU TOLD ME, I would have never figured out ways to get financial aid, I should go tell him... Or not.

I may be a woman who is in love with a man who works at walmart, but I am not an idiot.

how the eff do you think I pay for school? I work the corner?

BTW, he isn't qualified for financial aid. Why? He makes too much money.

 

 

 

You may not think so, but you aren't the only intelligent person on this forum. You are 3 years older and I sort of pity you. You seem bitter and honestly jealous.

[PhillyDude]

Unfortunately, part-time jobs is not going to get me a place to stay. Same with Seasonal or Temporary Jobs.

 

That's just false hope.

 

 

That post was a JOKE and was directed at the idiot who said the economy was on a upswing,.

 

Like you said no one can survive on part-time employment

[ThaWholigan]

Unfortunately, part-time jobs is not going to get me a place to stay. Same with Seasonal or Temporary Jobs.

 

That's just false hope.

How about entrepreneurship?

[miss_jaclynrae]

I think upswing means there tons of

 

part-time jobs

seasonal jobs

temp jobs

 

being posted on a daily which has no benefits

 

My unemployment would be over twice as much as any such jobs could offer.

[PhillyDude]

I refuse to respond to that fool anymore. I have gone through dry spells as you have said. Luckily i have my photography, working out with my cousin, and hanging out with a good friend. The time travels by really fast. I hate not working.

 

 

I will admit that I was guilty of criticizing people unemployed for a year or longer and after being unemployed for 13 months I will never do it again.

 

2 years can go really fast

[ltjg45]

So, what are you saying, people with tattoos are shunned and cannot get jobs ?

 

That is clearly not the case since my brother, who has at least 2 tattoos (probably more now), already has 2 jobs and is currently looking for a 3rd.

 

He's also has served a year in prison and has a child he can't financially take care of.

 

To think he can find work quicker than I can is beyond insulting.

 

I only stated that because employers prefer employees who doesn't have tattoos. Worse-case scenario, the tattoos that person has can be covered up.

[ltjg45]

In all seriousness, do you ever ask anyone to proofread your apps for grammar? Your posts here are rife with basic grammatical errors like subject-verb agreement...if you're submitting job applications in the same state, I have no doubt that even McDonald's is screening them out. (And rightly so, IMO; not proofreading--or asking others to proofread--an application for ANY job is a sign that you just don't care that much.) I know a lot of people consider the internet to be a grammar-free zone, so maybe you don't think the same way about job applications, but if you do, it's something to think about.

 

Well, while my grammar is terrible (I should know after all. I hated taking English classes), however I never had to answer a question on a job application where I had to write a paragraph to respond to.

 

So I doubt that would play as much importance as I would like to think. There isn't much more I can do without making myself feel smarter than I really am. Employers don't like smart-asses and I agree with them on that notion.

[StanMusial]

Really, I have yet to come across any employer who has asked, or admonished me for having tattoos. I would like to know where you get your information from.

 

Tattoos are so much more mainstream these days I'd be surprised if it would matter. Unless it is extreme somehow. Like a Mike Tyson face swirl.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Really, I have yet to come across any employer who has asked, or admonished me for having tattoos. I would like to know where you get your information from.

 

Visible tattoos are usually frowned upon where I am. Not saying that people with them CAN'T get jobs, but it is always smarter to go into an interview with them covered rather than not.

 

 

Just part of the "professional" code.

[ltjg45]

Really, I have yet to come across any employer who has asked, or admonished me for having tattoos. I would like to know where you get your information from.

 

Look at my troublesome brother for example.

 

He would never have got the 2 jobs he did work at if he wasn't willing to wear long-sleeve clothing to cover up the 2 visible tattos he has on his arms while working.

 

So unless your tattoos is easily seen while in public, you won't have any issues.

 

However, I have no idea what kind of work you are doing so things can easily be different from what I'm seeing. Not like it matters. I don't want any tattoos anyway.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Well, while my grammar is terrible (I should know after all. I hated taking English classes), however I never had to answer a question on a job application where I had to write a paragraph to respond to.

 

So I doubt that would play as much importance as I would like to think. There isn't much more I can do without making myself feel smarter than I really am. Employers don't like smart-asses and I agree with them on that notion.

 

Most people who find themselves unable to get jobs tend to not go about it the right way. Follow up, is one that many people miss, as well as face to face manager introduction.

 

 

I can say that all the places I have worked put an extreme value on how one held themselves during an interview. Confidence, friendliness, and a positive attitude can sometimes win over someone who has a fancy resume. The interview process is one which many people end up nixing.

[fortyninethousand322]

If this economy was on a upswing, as you would say, a person like me should be an easy target for a hire at an entry-level job like Burger King or McDonald's.

 

I, as a potential employee, has:

1. 2 years of cashier/janitor experience at Target

2. Doesn't smoke.

3. Doesn't drink.

4. Has access to public transportation.

5. Open availability

6. Is willing to do any job provided I get suitable training

7. No police record of any kind.

8. Willing to accept minimal working pay

9. Doesn't job hop

10. Willing to work 35-40 hours a week

11. Has no tattoos.

 

I'm not sure what else to add. I would think I would be able to find some trash job pretty quickly given the quality of employees I see at fast-food places so I can get my butt back on my feet and start going for what I really want.

 

Yet all I got to show for it is a big, fat bag of air.

 

I'm not buying this "economy on an upswing" BS. If it is, Jacksonville FL was clearly exempt from it.

 

Hey, I have all of that plus a college degree and 9 years of retail experience. Couldn't even get a job where all you do is sit at a computer and make sure information was entered in correctly.

 

Amazing world we live in.

[ltjg45]

Most people who find themselves unable to get jobs tend to not go about it the right way. Follow up, is one that many people miss, as well as face to face manager introduction.

 

I'm certainly doing the follow-up part right now. I'm given the idea that I'm still in a running for 3 possible jobs but one is telling me that I need to call back every 2 weeks, one is telling me that I need to check back every month, and the last told me they hired 2 people yesterday but if either of them doesn't work out, my application will be at the top of the pile.

 

I would like to remain positive but I have heard these responses multiple times. Neither of them has actually landed me a job offer. All I can do is to keep checking up on them but I'm not happy I'm in this scenario all over again.

 

The only time I actually got one (at Target) was when I had to go in for a 2nd interview and I got hired that very same day.

[tbf]

For people who are still struggling to find jobs, have you considered relocating to less depressed or recessed areas?

[ltjg45]

For people who are still struggling to find jobs, have you considered relocating to less depressed or recessed areas?

 

If I had the money, I will leave this city in a heartbeat.

 

Unfortunately, I don't.

[dasein]

If you can't find a new job in <4 months, you're either not looking hard enough or you have a useless skillset. Sorry.

 

An arrogant statement reflecting no knowledge of what is going on out there. It's bad. Moreover, some fields have been in the equivalent of a depression economy since 2008. Most fields require some experience to even get in the door. Employers are refusing to hire people who aren't already employed. Many people have given up looking entirely, which falsely inflates employed numbers. Our whole employment measurement stats are skewed in govt's favor to make things look better than they are. Our true unemployment rate now? Likely 15-20%.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I think a very large percentage of the population are tattooed. They are mainstream as are facial piercings. I have seen attorneys, and doctors with full sleeve tattoos. Now I do agree if the tattoo(s) are of the egregious nature such as "Eff the Police" or anything gang related or facial related, then that can be a cause for concern, however with that being said, where I come from, the only profession I know of that has rules about tattoos that are visible are SOME Law Enforcement agencies.

 

 

 

Over here in Cali every employer I have had, piercing nor tattoos can be visible.

[PhillyDude]

That is clearly not the case since my brother, who has at least 2 tattoos (probably more now), already has 2 jobs and is currently looking for a 3rd.

 

He's also has served a year in prison and has a child he can't financially take care of.

 

To think he can find work quicker than I can is beyond insulting.

 

I only stated that because employers prefer employees who doesn't have tattoos. Worse-case scenario, the tattoos that person has can be covered up.

 

 

He is probably getting some kind of special assistance due to his background.

[ltjg45]

Smart-asses, no. But employers love smart people, so I'm not sure why you're resistant to doing whatever you can to look like one.

 

I have a hard time believing that I'm not overall smarter than the majority of the people working at Burger King and McDonald's, even with my grammar issues.

 

Even then, I'm constantly reading articles every day because I want to know more. I just wish this dedication has at least a starting point to make use of this knowledge, however big or small that may be.

 

Anyway, I will start looking into grammar lessons on the Internet.

[TaurusTerp]

Being a property manager trained in both section 8 and LIHTC programs in not a useless skillset. But never being one you wouldn't know that. I look very hard. I apply to every ad for both manager and assistant manager that appear in the psper and several websites. Arrogant jackass.

 

No, I have no idea what is involved in property management. But answer me this:

 

1. Have you looked outside of your location for a job?

2. Have you looked outside of property management for a job?

 

You're obviously in a field that is either saturated or dead at the moment, and no people are not building properties at even 1/3 of the rate of a few years ago. So why are you still just looking for property management jobs? You learned from your last job that you can easily be replaced by someone with less training - it's time to move on to an expanding field or somewhere that you're not replaceable.

[PhillyDude]

For people who are still struggling to find jobs, have you considered relocating to less depressed or recessed areas?

 

 

relocate with what MONEY????????

[tbf]

If I had the money, I will leave this city in a heartbeat.

 

Unfortunately, I don't.

Working for an oil rig doesn't require moving all your stuff and also doesn't have many requirements, beyond being physically fit and having a driver's license that's capable of driving the construction vehicles.