Why does a woman want a man that's "Serious" about his career?

[truth_seeker]

Women are attracted to status.

 

Correct.

 

What is generally the first thing a woman asks you when you first meet her?

 

Answer: What do you do for a living?

 

Go to a bar, function, where ever and chat some women up. Tell one you're a Doctor. Tell another you're a janitor. See their reactions.

[PhillyDude]

Correct.

 

What is generally the first thing a woman asks you when you first meet her?

 

Answer: What do you do for a living?

 

Go to a bar, function, where ever and chat some women up. Tell one you're a Doctor. Tell another you're a janitor. See their reactions.

 

 

If someone askes me that question first I will lose interest

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

OP, it's not that big of a deal. Women don't care about it as much as they say they do.

 

The reason you're not getting girls is because you're not attracting them. Once you get them really into you, they don't care about the other stuff so much.

Edited March 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[sweetjasmine]

So wait a minute, a woman wants a man who is

 

Financially stable

Emotionally stable

Tall

Handsome

Considerate

Good in Bed

Good Credit

Guy who loves his job

Guy who drives

Guy who lives alone

Guy who doesn't cheat

 

 

Where is she going to find all of that? LOL

 

Hm, let's go through and compare my H to your list.

 

Financially stable -- yes. Neither of us is wealthy at the moment, but neither of us has struggled to pay bills.

 

Emotionally stable -- yep.

 

Tall -- average height. I don't give a sh-t about someone being tall.

 

Handsome -- yep, to me, certainly.

 

Considerate -- very much so.

 

Good in Bed -- yep.

 

Good Credit -- yep.

 

Guy who loves his job -- hated his last one but is loving what he's doing right now. And he's very good at it and is advancing in it.

 

Guy who drives -- of course. I know of only one person in my social circle who doesn't drive.

 

Guy who lives alone -- he lived with a roommate until we moved in together. Doesn't matter.

 

Guy who doesn't cheat -- yep.

 

Man, I guess I hit the jackpot if it's so rare to find a functional adult man capable of taking care of himself who isn't an a-hole!

[PhillyDude]

Hm, let's go through and compare my H to your list.

 

Financially stable -- yes. Neither of us is wealthy at the moment, but neither of us has struggled to pay bills.

 

Emotionally stable -- yep.

 

Tall -- average height. I don't give a sh-t about someone being tall.

 

Handsome -- yep, to me, certainly.

 

Considerate -- very much so.

 

Good in Bed -- yep.

 

Good Credit -- yep.

 

Guy who loves his job -- hated his last one but is loving what he's doing right now. And he's very good at it and is advancing in it.

 

Guy who drives -- of course. I know of only one person in my social circle who doesn't drive.

 

Guy who lives alone -- he lived with a roommate until we moved in together. Doesn't matter.

 

Guy who doesn't cheat -- yep.

 

Man, I guess I hit the jackpot if it's so rare to find a functional adult man capable of taking care of himself who isn't an a-hole!

 

 

 

My point is there is not a bunch of those types of men walking around so most likely the woman will have to...........SHARE him with other women

[dasein]

I see lots of hot air and missing the point in thread. It's not about whether someone should expect an employed partner who is passionate about things, but whether that is a reasonable kind of thing to put in an OLD profile or make OLD decisions from. I suppose "You should be employed" is OK, but all the encoded money talk women put in profiles and the accompanying rationalizations I see here, is the equivalent of a man saying "I want a woman with DD breasts because I want to make sure our children get enough milk." The rationalizations are amusing and hot air.

 

Men, I strongly suggest screening out women who look mercenary from coded OLD profile language. They will waste your time, and if you end up getting with them, you will be upgraded eventually unless you are already wealthy or have a very high paying job. I didn't think it could happen to me, but it has several times, have gotten upgraded in favor of multimillionaires and other very wealthy men, with the shakiest most bogus rationale in relationships where things were fine otherwise. The types of women who emphasize financial or career criteria in the profile as opposed to finding out in time during the first few dates, ARE the types who will keep profiles up behind your back and continue looking for upgrades while dating you.

 

Women with class don't make a deal of income or put encoded money statements in their OLD profiles. They simply don't IME.

[sweetjasmine]

My point is there is not a bunch of those types of men walking around so most likely the woman will have to...........SHARE him with other women

 

You severely underestimate other men. I've met plenty of guys who hit most or all of those things on your checklist. They're really not that remarkable. It's pretty average in my social circle.

[PhillyDude]

You severely underestimate other men. I've met plenty of guys who hit most or all of those things on your checklist. They're really not that remarkable. It's pretty average in my social circle.

 

 

Woman better start changing their list because there is no PERFECT MATE

[Radu]

You severely underestimate other men. I've met plenty of guys who hit most or all of those things on your checklist. They're really not that remarkable. It's pretty average in my social circle.

 

Are you saying that hubby is average.

[kaylan]

What's the big deal? Why does she care about what he does on his job? Figured she'd be more concerned about <her> own job than her mates, right?

Where are you meeting these women you constantly complain about? Im lucky to be born in the generation I was. Because women my age generally only care if a guy can support himself and not live like a bum. Girls who want a guy "serious" about his career, in my experience, are looking for a guy who will make a lot of money in the future. In which case shes looking for someone to take care of her instead of taking care of herself with her own money.

 

Thats just been my experience.

 

Not every guy is "serious" in the way he plans his career. Not every guy wants to be a workaholic or a world-beater who makes a lot of cash but never has time for other pursuits. Many dudes are fine making a good but modest living, where they can support themselves but still have a decent amount of discretionary income for fun stuff and hobbies.

[sweetjasmine]

Are you saying that hubby is average.

 

In that he's a functional adult who can take care of himself and doesn't treat people like sh-t? Yes. I know lots and lots of people like that. It's pretty much the baseline standard of what it is to be a grown man who isn't emotionally stunted and psychologically messed up.

 

He's not average in my eyes in other ways.

[Lonely Ronin]

My point is there is not a bunch of those types of men walking around so most likely the woman will have to...........SHARE him with other women

 

I don't know Man, the small town I was born into, half the male population meet all those criteria.

[PhillyDude]

I don't know Man, the small town I was born into, half the male population meet all those criteria.

 

 

Whatever, you can believe that if you want

[tbf]

Dumb thread. Women want a man who is a stable and consistent earner so he can provide for her kids in the future, common sense

This presumes that women replicate on their own, that of course, the male specimens had no part in the creation of the litter.

[kaylan]

It isn't always about having all of that now... My boyfriend doesn't have very good credit, and hates his job. He works at Walmart actually. Now if he had no plans to get out, the. I probably wouldn't be with him. He does though, he goes to school full time and is Planning on becoming a French professor.

 

 

That job in itself doesn't make as much money as some other career choices, but he is passionate about it and ultimately we could have a pretty comfortable life down the road, as well as he would be a happier man.

Wait wait. So the girl whos always talking about her great man...and who rushed moving in with him, is being supported by a guy in his 30s who works at walmart and has no education or career? Wow.

 

Im sorry, but career aspirations are something you should have made happen in your 20s. Props on him getting things done and going to school. But your whole situation and opinion regarding the matter shows your age. I can see why hes dating a kid your age. An established girl in her 30s wouldnt stand for it.

 

Hell...Im not established in a career yet, but I have my degrees and a plan. But even with that said, I wouldnt move in with a girl whos only working at walmart...esp if I wasnt working. I personally need an educated woman with a plan, or if shes not educated, be someone whos got drive and accomplished a little already.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Wait wait. So the girl whos always talking about her great man...and who rushed moving in with him, is being supported by a guy in his 30s who works at walmart and has no education or career? Wow.

 

Im sorry, but career aspirations are something you should have made happen in your 20s. Props on him getting things done and going to school. But your whole situation and opinion regarding the matter shows your age. I can see why hes dating a kid your age. An established girl in her 30s wouldnt stand for it.

 

Hell...Im not established in a career yet, but I have my degrees and a plan. But even with that said, I wouldnt move in with a girl whos only working at walmart...esp if I wasnt working. I personally need an educated woman with a plan, or if shes not educated, be someone whos got drive and accomplished a little already.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course where he is in his life is a reas

[PhillyDude]

In this new SHAKY ECONOMY

 

no one should be putting big emphasis on someone's job

[miss_jaclynrae]

Wait wait. So the girl whos always talking about her great man...and who rushed moving in with him, is being supported by a guy in his 30s who works at walmart and has no education or career? Wow.

 

Im sorry, but career aspirations are something you should have made happen in your 20s. Props on him getting things done and going to school. But your whole situation and opinion regarding the matter shows your age. I can see why hes dating a kid your age. An established girl in her 30s wouldnt stand for it.

 

Hell...Im not established in a career yet, but I have my degrees and a plan. But even with that said, I wouldnt move in with a girl whos only working at walmart...esp if I wasnt working. I personally need an educated woman with a plan, or if shes not educated, be someone whos got drive and accomplished a little already.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course where he is in his life is one reason why we get along so well. My man is amazing, which in itself proves that "status" doesn't always mean that much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He has a story, one that you don't know. Definitely a late start in life but seeing as to how drastically he has turned his life around is even more admirable.

 

 

He spent the better part of the last 10 years in a drunken stupor, traveling, and partying the way an alcoholic does. Why judge a man for who he's been? He is an amazing boyfriend, has goals that he works hard to reach, and ultimately works so damn hard at his ****ty job. (he is a manager, but it's Walmart... So who wouldn't hate it.) it was the only job he could get, an I'm proud of him all the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who are you to judge? I have no problem with it. I love him for it.

[kaylan]

In this new SHAKY ECONOMY

 

no one should be putting big emphasis on someone's job

Im sorry, but the economy excuse is getting old...esp with the economy on an upswing.

 

No, people shouldnt be harshly judged on their job as long as they take care of themselves....but judgement is warranted if the person is making poor decisions with their career.

 

If I was a mailman, enjoyed it, and a girl judged me harshly since its not a glamorous job...then she can go kick rocks. But if I was a mailman, hated my job, and was only there because other things didnt work out for me because of my own doing, then shes got a point in being turned off.

 

It all depends sometimes

[PhillyDude]

Im sorry, but the economy excuse is getting old...esp with the economy on an upswing.

 

No, people shouldnt be harshly judged on their job as long as they take care of themselves....but judgement is warranted if the person is making poor decisions with their career.

 

If I was a mailman, enjoyed it, and a girl judged me harshly since its not a glamorous job...then she can go kick rocks. But if I was a mailman, hated my job, and was only there because other things didnt work out for me because of my own doing, then shes got a point in being turned off.

 

It all depends sometimes

 

 

The economy on a upswing? LMAO That's a laugh

[jma500]

Im sorry, but the economy excuse is getting old...esp with the economy on an upswing.

 

No, people shouldnt be harshly judged on their job as long as they take care of themselves....but judgement is warranted if the person is making poor decisions with their career.

 

If I was a mailman, enjoyed it, and a girl judged me harshly since its not a glamorous job...then she can go kick rocks. But if I was a mailman, hated my job, and was only there because other things didnt work out for me because of my own doing, then shes got a point in being turned off.

 

It all depends sometimes

It may be on an upswing where you live but not where i live or most of the country for that matter. Turn on any news broadcast or pick up any newspaper. They love to tell us how bad the economy is as often as they can.

[carhill]

'Serious' indicates the person can focus, collate, create, pursue, achieve, etc, etc, all of which is attractive to someone interested in a long-term committed team effort. The rest, meaning 'what' they're serious about being attractive, is socialization/religion/culture. I often use the doctors without borders in Africa analogy as an example of something 'serious'. Serious but attractive to a lesser subset of potential mates. That same doctor in a lucrative private practice with a ski cabin, tennis club and golf club memberships and local political aspirations would achieve wider positive perception of his/her being 'serious' about their career. More 'like'. 'Like' is very important in social interactions. It colors perceptions markedly.

[Lonely Ronin]

Whatever, you can believe that if you want

 

lets look at the criteria you think is ridiculous

 

Financially stable - spend less than you make, and save enough to do stuff plus have something for retirement. Most people can do this.

Emotionally stable - again this is most of the population

Tall - where i was born pretty much every guy was 5' 8" or taller. as the area was basically of german/dutch/english/ scandinavian decent.

Handsome - probably the hardest on on the list, but still easy in my opinion if you get a decent hair cut take care of your teeth, and stay resonably fit and decently dressed.

Considerate - who doesn't learn manners?

Good in Bed - again easy if you pay attention to how she reacts to you

Good Credit - basically equivalent to Financially stable

Guy who loves his job - again who is going to do something long term they don't like

Guy who drives - again this is like most of the poulation unless you live downton in a major city, or aren't able to meet the Financially stable requirement

Guy who lives alone - This is what adults normally do untill they are in a serious relationship

Guy who doesn't cheat - highly related to Emotionally stable, & Considerate

 

out of those 11 criteria i don't know a single guy who doesn't meet at least 9 of them.

[Radu]

Of course where he is in his life is one reason why we get along so well. My man is amazing, which in itself proves that "status" doesn't always mean that much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He has a story, one that you don't know. Definitely a late start in life but seeing as to how drastically he has turned his life around is even more admirable.

 

 

He spent the better part of the last 10 years in a drunken stupor, traveling, and partying the way an alcoholic does. Why judge a man for who he's been? He is an amazing boyfriend, has goals that he works hard to reach, and ultimately works so damn hard at his ****ty job. (he is a manager, but it's Walmart... So who wouldn't hate it.) it was the only job he could get, an I'm proud of him all the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who are you to judge? I have no problem with it. I love him for it.

 

I like you, but coming from a late starter in life ... i can see kaylan's point.

Just be aware of it.

 

I left college with 6 classes shy of graduating with an engineering degree.

Went to work in IT, was not really employed if you know what i mean.

I woke up 6yrs later, at 28 without a real job on my resume, getting older and filled with regrets about everything from social life to career choice.

I can understand late start in life and if he went through the same thought process as i had i can probably feel his regret, but don't let love blind you on this one ... make sure he has a plan and wants to go somewhere better.

[kaylan]

Of course where he is in his life is one reason why we get along so well. My man is amazing, which in itself proves that "status" doesn't always mean that much.

You say status doesnt mean much now. Talk to me when you two are struggling to get by on his Walmart salary. Status isnt the end all be all, but people need to have their life together. Im glad hes making strides, but I can see this relationship failing...and then you having a "been there, done that, wont do it again" attitude about guys like him when you are older. Im only 26, and even i see the naivety of youth in all this.

 

Im not saying you shouldnt be with him because of his status. Im saying his lack of an education or career is why hes dating a young girl in her 20s. And Im saying both of your statuses will make life difficult...especially if youre both trying to get by on one low status. Yes, I believe in love above all else...but money and living comfortably can be a huge problem in a relationship. Especially one thats moved very fast early on before you TRULY know one another.

He has a story, one that you don't know. Definitely a late start in life but seeing as to how drastically he has turned his life around is even more admirable.

I get that we all have our stories. but you yourself still dont know this man much yet. Despite his story, many of us have direct control over the direction our life takes and many of us sometimes make poor decisions in our youth. Props to him for getting things going, but a rushed relationship on a meager salary will only make school and work harder for him. Especially now that hes responsible for you until you get on your feet.

He spent the better part of the last 10 years in a drunken stupor, traveling, and partying the way an alcoholic does. Why judge a man for who he's been? He is an amazing boyfriend, has goals that he works hard to reach, and ultimately works so damn hard at his ****ty job. (he is a manager, but it's Walmart... So who wouldn't hate it.) it was the only job he could get, an I'm proud of him all the same.

Good on him for being sober. But whos fault and whos bad habits ruined his life up until a little while ago? It was all on him. Why judge a man for who hes been? Because any person is judged on the choices they make. Their choices make them who they are. And you hardly know who this guy truly is. Once youve been with him a year and have gone through the ups and downs and intimacy of really living together for a while...then you can tell me how much you know him.

 

Its good he works hard...but hes still a product of his past. And hes still making poor decisions by deciding to take care of someone when hes gotta take care of himself and get through school on his wage.

Who are you to judge? I have no problem with it. I love him for it.

Who am I? Im a realist who feels people need to wake up and smell the coffee. I screwed around before college as well...but I did that in my late teens and grew up and decided to hit school at 20/21. And I put myself through school with loans and crappy jobs. Lord knows I wasnt willingly taking on someone else as a responsibility before getting on my feet.

 

I just feel both of you needed to be more smart about some things. Just honesty. I wish you guys the best...but like Ninja told you...things dont look good from an outside view. But maybe Im wrong. Id like to not think hes an older guy who wasted his youth and will possibly waste soem of yours...but when youre both making poor and rushed decisions, Ima be honest.

 

But as I said. Prove me wrong. And really pull your weight. Hurry up and take any full time job you can get so hes not stressed with pulling all the living expenses on his own. Schools expensive, and its stressful. And if hes eligible and not doing it already, getting financial aid is a big help...esp if he gets enough where he has a refund that can pay for books and living expenses. My refunds helped me pay for gas, books, food, and rent.