irc333 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 (edited) What's the big deal? Why does she care about what he does on his job? Figured she'd be more concerned about <her> own job than her mates, right? Edited March 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 'her'
soccerrprp Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 What's the big deal? Why does she care about what he does on his job? Figured she'd be more concerned about he own job than her mates, right? WRONG! Not only about her job! Yours too! She wants to make sure that you have one and are stable. Also, some are looking for dollar signs....depending what you do gives her a good idea how much you make. Some people say that they don't care, but should care about how much or whether the person of interest has a job. You don't want to end up supporting your partner and living a miserable existence.
EasyHeart Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 People looking for LTRs are looking for a stable partner. Typically, when people are young, they experiment and explore, which leads to change. that's why so many young marriages fail: people grow in different directions. When you're looking for a permanent relationship, you don't want a partner who is going to announce: "Hey, I took a job 3000 miles away! Pack your bags!", "Ive decided to quit my job and work on my screenplay" or "I think I want to go to med school". 5
dasein Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 It's just a form of code for "makes lots of money." I don't even put my income on OLD profiles, suggest all men, no matter what income, leave it blank also. Physical criteria, significant habits like smoking and drinking. religion and parental status are fair game to expect in an OLD profile. Nothing much else is IMO, of course people are free to disclose as much as they want, don't advise it for men though. Desirable women are generally looking at profiles with a red pencil, not a green one, if that makes sense. Give them fewer possibilities of using it. 4
Treasa Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I refuse to be with a guy who isn't capable of financially supporting himself (I can financially support myself, and do), but other than that, I don't give a **** what he feels about his job. <---woman
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 This backfires in women's faces all the time. Marry a guy who is super career-oriented, and then sit around b**ching that their husband is never around or 'married to his job'. When we started having kids, my W and I lived in a really affluent neighborhood in the city. I would take my daughter to the park, and it was nothing but rich women complaining to each other about how lonely they were. Had the $2mil house and new MB lease every other year, and never had to work and spent all day at the spa or the gym or at lunch pounding wine with the other lonely women while the nanny was taking care of the kids....but they didn't have a relationship with the husband. He was never around, always working, and if he was around on weekends, he checked out because he needed to relax. He wasn't engaged intimately because, well let's face it, we all know who he was banging. So, you have these sorta pretty, educated, interesting, personable women who nobody loved, and you could always see the loneliness in their eyes. But it was fine though, because they had this amazing house and lavish furniture and opulent lifestyle that they could impress everybody with, and they could sit around telling everybody how important and successful their husbands are...'Oh, Michael is just soooo busy. He is now the CFO for such-and-such corporation and he has to travel to China all the time for work, and blah blah blah....'. Meanwhile, when nobody's looking, she's pounding anti-depressants and has poured her first vodka/soda by noon, but in an innocuous glass with no ice so that you just think its water. In other words, it looks good on paper. 6
StanMusial Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 This backfires in women's faces all the time. Marry a guy who is super career-oriented, and then sit around b**ching that their husband is never around or 'married to his job'. When we started having kids, my W and I lived in a really affluent neighborhood in the city. I would take my daughter to the park, and it was nothing but rich women complaining to each other about how lonely they were. Had the $2mil house and new MB lease every other year, and never had to work and spent all day at the spa or the gym or at lunch pounding wine with the other lonely women while the nanny was taking care of the kids....but they didn't have a relationship with the husband. He was never around, always working, and if he was around on weekends, he checked out because he needed to relax. He wasn't engaged intimately because, well let's face it, we all know who he was banging. So, you have these sorta pretty, educated, interesting, personable women who nobody loved, and you could always see the loneliness in their eyes. But it was fine though, because they had this amazing house and lavish furniture and opulent lifestyle that they could impress everybody with, and they could sit around telling everybody how important and successful their husbands are...'Oh, Michael is just soooo busy. He is now the CFO for such-and-such corporation and he has to travel to China all the time for work, and blah blah blah....'. Meanwhile, when nobody's looking, she's pounding anti-depressants and has poured her first vodka/soda by noon, but in an innocuous glass with no ice so that you just think its water. In other words, it looks good on paper. Women are always going to find something to gripe about. If he was unemployed and up in her grill all day or laying around the house, I doubt she would enjoy that too much either. 1
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Women are always going to find something to gripe about. If he was unemployed and up in her grill all day or laying around the house, I doubt she would enjoy that too much either. While that's true as well, these women have a profound sense of loneliness....borne of the realization that money doesn't buy happiness, but now that's all they have. They're very different from other women. And if you never got behind the scenes, you would be convinced that they have the greatest lives of all time. They put a lot of effort into marketing. 1
crude Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Most women would choose that kind of loneliness over having to work and worrying about money. Also, it's time for men to want a woman who can give THEM a nice lifestyle, rather than superficial things like looks.
truth_seeker Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 What's the big deal? Why does she care about what he does on his job? Figured she'd be more concerned about he own job than her mates, right? Women in their 20's want to have fun, which means, hook up with "hot" guys. Women in their 30's want to settle, which means, find a man who is financially secure.
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Most women would choose that kind of loneliness over having to work and worrying about money. Also, it's time for men to want a woman who can give THEM a nice lifestyle, rather than superficial things like looks. Yep. And then they get it, and the reality sets in, and then its pills and booze and shopping and b**ching and crying in the bedroom half the day.
2sure Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 What someone does for a living is a big part of their life, even if it just takes up most of their time. I dont care so much what people do for a living...as long as they do something they like, that they find worthwhile. I like people that move forward and make their life how they want it. 1
RedRobin Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I think some men could afford to be a little less paranoid about gold-diggers and realize that most stable people want someone who is also stable. There are lots of ways to find out what their motives are. If their idea of fun requires lots of $$, and you aren't interested in that, then you just aren't compatible. As a woman who fends for herself quite well (and have had my share of male gold-diggers come my way looking for a ride)... I've had to learn how to sift through it too. I really don't give a r*ts ass what a guy does for a living as long as he enjoys it and it pays his bills. I've dated millionaires who couldn't live within their means. And like BB says, they spend a whole lot of time maintaining a life style that could be much better spent on the things money CANT buy.... 5
sweetjasmine Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 What's the big deal? Why does she care about what he does on his job? Figured she'd be more concerned about he own job than her mates, right? Short answer? Because I'm very serious about mine and would have a hard time respecting someone who isn't. To me, someone who bounces from job to job, career to career, and doesn't really give a sh-t that they're working entry-level jobs when they could've accomplished more if they had been more serious about it likely has problems with focus and dedication. And being serious about a career doesn't necessarily mean working 80 hours a week as a CFO to make a billion dollars a year. A post doc in theoretical physics is serious about his/her career, but s/he sure as sh-t isn't making lots of money. 3
RedRobin Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 A post doc in theoretical physics is serious about his/her career, but s/he sure as sh-t isn't making lots of money. Exactly. There are a lot of important careers that don't make a lot of money... but I find absolutely amazing. I'm not religious (at all), but lets remember that Jesus was a carpenter. The whole idea of work to me is an expression of your core self and values... whatever they are. My work IS an expression of who I am and what I value. For better or worse.
TheGuard13 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 It's either their values (They want someone with similar ambition) or that they need the stability. Let's face it, even with a good job, there's stress involved with finances. With a low paying job or no job, there's more stress over those things. Stability equals comfort in most people's minds. 1
TheGuard13 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Because that's what he/she wants? Yep. And then they get it, and the reality sets in, and then its pills and booze and shopping and b**ching and crying in the bedroom half the day. I much prefer what happens in the bedroom with some of these women the other half of the day.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Women find workaholics sexy. Plus, many workaholics have a lot of money. Money often = attractive. Or, perhaps a nifty divorce settlement if it every comes to that. So, if you are serious about your career you often are a workaholic or you have some money. Simple, easy, explanation.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 OP, aren't you old enough where most women will gladly date you as long as you're not some kind of serial killer or serial cheater? I mean at some point women get desperate enough to take what they can get right?
Ruby Slippers Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I've finally gotten serious about my own work and financial life, and I'd prefer a partner in the same spot. It doesn't matter what he does, but since I've always been focused on making a good living doing something that I really enjoy and that uses my talents well, it would be nice if he were on a similar path. It's not about how much he makes. I've had opportunities to make a lot more money doing things I didn't care about much. But I can't live like that. I have to care about what I do, or I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. Even in work, I choose love over money. Similarly, I've had many opportunities to get with guys who make a lot of money and want to take care of me, but I can't have a romantic relationship with someone just for what he can do for me. There has to be mutual love. 3
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 The same reason why men feel entitled to a woman who is better looking than him. OP's question doesn't really dignify a response... however, this does. Beauty standards are very subjective. Personally, I think I am way better looking than most of the women I have dated. How would you feel if your BF expressed the opinion that he is much more handsome than you are pretty?
Anela Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 What's the big deal? Why does she care about what he does on his job? Figured she'd be more concerned about he own job than her mates, right? No. I was really attracted to a guy who seemed to be into his job, and furthering himself. Talk of a strong foundation, and building on that = . As soon as he started to talk about throwing it all away, and travelling the world, living out of a suitcase... meh. 2
EasyHeart Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 The same reason why men feel entitled to a woman who is better looking than him.Oh Lord, I hope so! I do NOT want to date a woman who looks like me. 2
ltjg45 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I can respect a woman that wants a male to be financially stable. What I can't respect is a woman that wants more than it is needed. Like she wants a guy making 6 figures a year, a brand new car, a 2-3 story house, and all of that nonsense. I'm sure no one, male or female, actually NEEDS that stuff so when I hear that, I tend to run for the hills. Not only will I not provide it but I don't even care for it. At the end, what I do want to give (and I want back) is the things money can't buy.
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