Bingh Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I've been dating my gf for 1 year now (I'm 26 and she's 25) and never felt deeply connected towards a woman before. It's like she were one of a kind; not the typical demanding, jealous, dramatic or commitment obsessed girl that nags or begs (I hate women that nag or says ''Where is this going'' and that's why I never felt that way towards my other exes) and overall a nice person with everyone. After analizing this so many times I've come to the conclusion that this is how I feel about her: I would intervene if I saw a car about to run over her or if she was stuck on a burning building, even if that meant giving my life I want her in my life and not just date her However, is it too early to tell her how I'm feeling. If given the choice to commit to her, I would (if I knew she felt the same too). I don't want to freak her out but it's the way I'm feeling and have been lately. But don't know what I would do if I got rejected. It would hurt me. 1
Author Bingh Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 (edited) Does anyone knows how do I start this conversation with her? I've never done this before. Or is it too soon and it'll probably freak her out? Should I ignore my feelings for the mean time and tell her later on? Do you think 1 year is too early or not? Edited March 15, 2013 by Bingh
Divasu Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Do you think 1 year is too early or not?No it's not too early. The universe is 13+ billion years old People live an average of 78 years on earth. Time, at least here, is short. 2
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I'm a firm believer in being honest with others about your feelings. Most problems arise because people play games to avoid being frank, or out of fear of rejection. Somewhere between six months and a year is when many people start to feel this way, but ultimately every couple is somewhat different and unique. There is no "one" way of doing things. I don't know your ages, but take her somewhere memorable to have the conversation. A romantic restaurant, a scenic spot during a hike, the place where you had your first date or where you first met, for example. I might paraphrase what you've posted here. Maybe say something about how she means the world to you, and you want to love and protect her for life. It should come from the heart...your heart. Some guys find it helpful to gather their thoughts and write out what they might say beforehand. Some don't. Up to you to do what feels best for you. Most guys IME will also drop a few hints in the preceding week that the seriousness of the relationship is on their mind, so I'm not completely blindsided. Out of curiosity. What is the point of this chat? Just to share your feelings? To propose? You aren't very clear here. If there isn't an obvious next step or question being asked of her, think of how you plan to address proactively whatever questions she might have regarding what this means for your relationship. Otherwise things might get a little awkward immediately afterwards. Good luck! 1
Author Bingh Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 (edited) Out of curiosity. What is the point of this chat? Just to share your feelings?No it's not just that. I already told her ''I love you'' a couple months ago. What I'm trying to tell her goes deeper as in I want to be with you for endless years but do you feel the same? This is what has been running through my head and something I was about to said recently but held back: Diane, we've been together for 1 year now. I know it might be early but do you imagine growing old with me? This is how I feel. If I were to ask you if you want to be with me forever will you say yes? To propose? You aren't very clear here. I would need to know where is she at. Is that how she feels that way towards me too? I would if she did. But I just don't want to be rejected. This would depend on how she reacts to my speech I'm still preparing. This is what's making me nervous. What if my feeling isn't reciprocated? What if it's too early for her? Edited March 16, 2013 by Bingh 1
Forever Learning Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 This is what's making me nervous. What if my feeling isn't reciprocated? What if it's too early for her? Life is about risk. Understanding one another is about communication. Take the risk, tell her how you feel. Find out how she feels. There really is no other option in my opinion. No risk, no glory. How will you cope if she is not feeling the same way at this time? Life is also about learning to cope in difficult situations, and solving problems. Your problem is your fear of your own ability to be resilient, in the face of rejection. But, everyone feels this way in these type situations, so you are not alone in feeling afraid about all this. Be brave anyway. Find out how she feels. Best of luck!
iKING Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 No it's not too early. The universe is 13+ billion years old People live an average of 78 years on earth. Time, at least here, is short. This. You never know what's going to happen in this life, and It's too short not to let another know what's on your mind. You're willing to sacrifice your life for her, why not be willing to sacrifice your heart to tell her how you feel? A year is enough time. You're not proposing to her or something that puts her on the spot, so there's very little rejection that could take place. You could say "you know that I love you so much.." and go from there. Explain what you've explained here and leave it open ended just to get her feelings on the matter.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 You could just ask her if she sees a future with you, as in marriage and children someday. (Keyword being "someday.") I think a year is a fair amount of time to talk about the future of the relationship.
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