Els Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 When one of you needs to do some work or concentrate on something and needs a quiet environment, what do you do? I find it really difficult to concentrate unless the place is quiet - noise, like the TV in the background or the bf typing/clicking furiously right next to me or playing music, etc, are a huge distraction. So I try to time my work so that I don't end up doing it when he's at home. That works well sometimes, but sometimes there isn't much choice. When I really need to work with him around, I tell him nicely and he willingly switches to a quieter activity. But I'd feel guilty to do that too often, because I figure he'd be quite rightly exasperated if he could never do what he wants to do at home. What do you guys do? Or am I the only one who gets distracted by such stuff? Going out to a cafe or the library isn't a solution, because this usually happens at night, when such places are closed. Plus cafes are equally bad for me, though libraries are good.
Silly_Girl Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I find it hard to concentrate in silence so earphones and music (not too loud) help prevent me from over-thinking, and drown out other background noise. Could that help you perhaps?
Author Els Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 Music distracts me, unfortunately. Maybe I could try ocean sounds or something. That would be a possible solution, though a bit less than ideal cause I find earphones really uncomfy to wear for more than an hour or so.
Silly_Girl Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I know what you mean about earphones. Old-fashioned headphones work better. But yes, ocean or birdsong or something might help. Even an hour at a time is an improvement. I sympathise. Not the same but I used to study a lot with a toddler and found it so distracting and once it becomes an issue once or twice it simply seems to grow. 2
Radu Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I also have this problem, getting drawn out by sounds of any nature. I've been going to my school's library but i can only get in about 10hs monday-thursday. I think i'll try some of the things suggested here. Quite frankly, i usually make ear plugs out of cotton and get into it. They tend to soundproof better. The best earplugs i have seen are those used on gun ranges, but i can't get them here that easy. 2
Radu Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I forgot to mention this. You can make pretty good plugs out of tissue paper too. Not as good as cotton, but still pretty good. I can get sucked out quite easily, had my entire life this problem. For me this means that i want to get sucked out. Besides this i also have to unplug the Internet on my laptop, disable any notifications, etc ... 2
gaius Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 The john has always served me well as an escape capsule the few times I've needed to get away from someone in cramped quarters. There's even a place to sit just waiting for you. Maybe he could drag his loud keyboard in there. 2
Lauriebell82 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 He willingly switches to a quieter activity and has never said anything to you about being upset. I think you guys have set up a good compromise so you should stick to it. If you need to work and he really really wants to watch tv or something, then maybe you could go in the bedroom and he can watch tv in the living and keep it on low? When my husband and I lived in a one bedroom apartment, one of us would go in the bedroom if they needed to do something that would distract the other. It worked well. 1
Keenly Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I'm a really light sleeper, so to help I have a box fan on Max to drown out everything else, maybe that could help? 1
Kamille Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Exexex and I lived a year in a studio. 1. We would use headphones to listen to tv/music when the other was in a work crunch. 2. We set up a "reading corner" in the bathroom: a chair in a corner. You could extend your legs on the bath tub. Best of luck! It wasn't always easy sharing such a small space. At the same time, there's something I miss about it. 3
iKING Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 A comfortable pair of headphones/earbuds with either meditation music or pure silence. Setting up a small arrangement in the closet (if It's big enough). Turning on a fan on high to drown out the noise. Building a blanket fort in the corner of a room or closet. Going to the park or in the car as a last resort. 2
Object_a Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I have experienced this and it was really, really difficult. I always just got over noise by using some over-the-ear type headphones. I would put them on even if I didn't have any music on and it really helped me tune out when I was supposed to be working on something. What I found more difficult was having a TV or computer screen in my line of vision when I was trying to work. The solution we used was to stand the TV half-way along one wall at a 90 degree angle, so that you could only see it if you sat in a particular corner. All I could see from my desk was the back of the TV so the motion didn't distract me any more. Something else I really liked doing was sitting in the bathroom while our washing machine (also in the bathroom) was running. There were no visual distractions and I found the noise weirdly soothing 2
Author Els Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Thanks for the comments, guys. Some of you folks are really creative. I mean, washing machines, bathrooms, and car parks? Holy moly. Earplugs/phones and background noises, I will look into, though it will be challenging for me to find those that don't distract me in and of themselves. I'm pretty OCD-ish, and things that don't bother most people do bother me, unfortunately. Sometimes I do come across a winner that works and doesn't bug me, so here's to some trial and error. Most of the other suggestions that revolve around moving locations, can't really do that. Our apartment is tiny, and I need to work at my desktop most of the time. The bf can't really move either, as his entertainment at home mostly isn't portable. He willingly switches to a quieter activity and has never said anything to you about being upset. I think you guys have set up a good compromise so you should stick to it. I would just feel guilty having him switch on a regular basis, though, when the issue is me and not him (when he needs to do any work, he doesn't care what I do). He has already made a lot of compromises for my OCD tendencies, so I try to minimize what I ask of him.
serial muse Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Hey Els, I have the same issue as you - I find it hard to work with any noise (so cafes are out for me too), and H and I live in a one-bedroom at the moment. Have you considered noise-cancelling headphones? They're not piping in anything, just hushing the ambient sounds...
Author Els Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Are the headphones specifically marketed under 'noise-canceling', muse, or would regular comfy ones do?
pink_sugar Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I remember my dad pushing us to rent his studio...which is fine for the first time being on your own temporarily....but I cannot imagine years being stuck in a cramped studio with another person. I live in a one bedroom and that works just fine, even that is a bit small. I always hear my husband and the constant clicking of the remote control while playing a damned game...easy to deal with in a one bedroom...go into the bedroom and shut the door. A studio....ugh I have no idea how to put up with it. 2
MuscleCarFan Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I remember my dad pushing us to rent his studio...which is fine for the first time being on your own temporarily....but I cannot imagine years being stuck in a cramped studio with another person. I live in a one bedroom and that works just fine, even that is a bit small. I always hear my husband and the constant clicking of the remote control while playing a damned game...easy to deal with in a one bedroom...go into the bedroom and shut the door. A studio....ugh I have no idea how to put up with it. Hahaha, yeah I agree. A studio would be too small for two people. 1
Author Els Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 I remember my dad pushing us to rent his studio...which is fine for the first time being on your own temporarily....but I cannot imagine years being stuck in a cramped studio with another person. I live in a one bedroom and that works just fine, even that is a bit small. I always hear my husband and the constant clicking of the remote control while playing a damned game...easy to deal with in a one bedroom...go into the bedroom and shut the door. A studio....ugh I have no idea how to put up with it. Yup, we didn't take a studio for this very reason, even if it would have been much cheaper. I would have gone ballistic much sooner than this. One bedroom still takes a bit of adjusting to though. Our previous house (in an area where rent was MUCH cheaper) was a 2 bedroom - and that was AMAZING. Never had any issues with personal space or distraction even though that was the first time living together (and first time cohabitating with any partner, even) for both of us. We slept in 1 bedroom and used the other as a separate work space whenever either of us wanted it.
serial muse Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Are the headphones specifically marketed under 'noise-canceling', muse, or would regular comfy ones do? They're specifically noice-cancelling, designed to mute out certain wavelengths of sound, so unfortunately they don't work as well as regular headphones for listening to music. I think they work in one of two ways: either they just contain sound-absorbing material like high-density foam (the passive type of this headphone) or they can actually cancel out low-frequency sound waves by emitting out-of-phase waves (the active type of this headphone). They're pricey but probably cheaper than moving. 1
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