McDonald Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I have been thinking about this-- Before my ex any myself starting dating.. we were really close friends She was my first friend here at college and then she became somewhat of a best friend to me. We starting dating.. grew closer.. now she leaves me for someone else and not only did I lose my girlfriend.. but bestfriend. Heres my question. Why ruin really close friendships with girls with a relationship. It seems as if you are close to a girl and begin to date... The friendship is destroyed right then and there. So why do that? Why risk having them out of your life if something happens.. such as a break up?
Kenji Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Is it a risk you're willing to take? I think that's the question. Yes, you might lose a best friend. But you can also end up marrying your best friend. 5
todreaminblue Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I have been thinking about this-- Before my ex any myself starting dating.. we were really close friends She was my first friend here at college and then she became somewhat of a best friend to me. We starting dating.. grew closer.. now she leaves me for someone else and not only did I lose my girlfriend.. but bestfriend. Heres my question. Why ruin really close friendships with girls with a relationship. It seems as if you are close to a girl and begin to date... The friendship is destroyed right then and there. So why do that? Why risk having them out of your life if something happens.. such as a break up? when you break up with someone it is going to sting whether they were your friend before or not......i think it is worth the risk...and as the poster above said you can end up marrying them which means no goodbyes to yrou best friend...so in that respect its worth it........deb
Author McDonald Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 THinknig about it now idk... She was my first girlfriend... and I miss having her around more than anything. I had no idea if we were to break up I would really never be able to talk to her again...
todreaminblue Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 (edited) THinknig about it now idk... She was my first girlfriend... and I miss having her around more than anything. I had no idea if we were to break up I would really never be able to talk to her again... i am sorry you feel that way,all i can suggest is time and then re evaluate how you feel ,sometimes you can remain friends after a break up if it was mutually agreed upon....with mine it has been mutual both times.......they cheated and i couldnt handle it......so even though i hurt for a while....the reasons why i was their friend in the first place , was what i remembered....it did take me a long time to get over the last one, and i only speak to him on the phone....but we are friends, if thre was not my children involved, i may have felt differently about staying friends...i think it teaches my kids the traits of respect and courtesy, and forgiveness....even though they disrespected me i dont have to be like that......you do what your heart feels....hugs....deb Edited March 15, 2013 by todreaminblue 1
Els Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 To me it's more of: Why settle for a relationship with someone who isn't also your best friend?
Simon Phoenix Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Would you rather walk away from the poker table with 100 dollars or with 5,000 dollars? 1
Author McDonald Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 It would be easier to be her friend if she didnt have a boyfriend... or leave me for another guy lol. How can you really be friends with somelike that that... at least for now? Do I want the ***** send of the stick? no maybe in the future. But it just sucks that I have to think like that becuase it hurts.
Kenji Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 It would be easier to be her friend if she didnt have a boyfriend... or leave me for another guy lol. How can you really be friends with somelike that that... at least for now? Do I want the ***** send of the stick? no maybe in the future. But it just sucks that I have to think like that becuase it hurts. My ex-girlfriend was my best friend before we began dating. I agree, it hurts quite a bit not being able to text her all day, every day. I miss having that friend to talk to. But the fact is, I'm not ready to be her friend. She is absolutely able to date whomever she wants. It's not my decision. I understand that I am not ready to watch her be happy with someone else. However, I have no doubt that I will grow stronger in the future. Maybe we can rekindle our friendship one day, but I think that once I'm strong enough to watch her with another man, I probably won't care enough to make the effort to be friends with her. If she genuinely cares about you, anything is possible. It's just, well, her efforts would be focused on her boyfriend. You have to be okay with being her friend, not her boyfriend. And I promise you, once you have a girlfriend, you'll be fine with that.
Author McDonald Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 By the time I find a new girl... I probably wouldn't even care about being her friend or not. It's not even that I want her as a friend. I miss it... But wouldn't be able to handle it...
coltsfan1 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Is it a risk you're willing to take? I think that's the question. Yes, you might lose a best friend. But you can also end up marrying your best friend. I couldn't have said it better myself. Relationships are high risk, high reward ventures!!
Author McDonald Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 High risk that can lead to a part time high reward lol
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