joel Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 met this girl before at mall and we hung out. we already went out like approx 8-10xs. we kised on date 3 and then date 4 we made out in car and fingering. im not her first guy or bf. she acts innocent around me asking what is doggy style, missionary and pretending not to know how babies are made. shes 25. shes unemployed for 2.5 years but another time she mentioned it was only one year. she says she likes me a lot and im the best bf she ever had. the first time she said it was too painful to have sex when i fingered her -though a week later i asked her to go doctor to see why she got pain she responds back with ah ah there was no pain.so i couldnt have sex with her. another time in car i had to push to get her pants off and her panties off and shes very hestiant in sex with me. shes moving her hips so my dick misses and starts thrusting against her thigh. she says she loves me and likes me a lot but so hestiant in sex. other times she complains that i didnt have a car since we just met up at a certain locaiton and went from there. so i got the car and later on in the text she saying shes not sure she wants to sit in my car for safety reasons. lol another time in the car shes very hestiant to have sex with me this is on date 9. both times she says shes on period- one time a week ago and another 2 weeks ago-excuses be it period or i dont feel like it or not know. seems like shes very hestitant with wanting sex with me. she has had sex with guy on 2nd date and 3rd and it took me this long . why does she make me wait so long. she says she has to see if she has feelings first . i paid for her a few times for meals since shes unemployed and a few times she tried to take the change money. i gave her a small teddy bear aas a gift and she was telling me how her sister's bf gave her a bigger bear and a rose, she also has no friends from what i see and also never had a serious bf before. she said she scared i might sex her and leave her and i said i wont . we are bf and gf i also notice one time she says she loves me and another day im ok, and another day she likes me and has feelings. she changes her mindset very fast. 1
iKING Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 She's unsure of what she wants, her feelings on the matter seem rather conflicting. Give her time to want it from you and just enjoy the time you have together. She obviously values her sexuality to some extent which is a good thing, you should respect that. Should she choose to give it to you it'd be even more of a compliment. Take it easy and stop worrying about the sex for now, when she's ready she's ready. As appealing as it may sound now, there's no need to rush it. Enjoy being with her. 1
SJC2008 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 If she's hesitant about sex the LAST place she's going to have it is in a car. I'm surprised the fact that you keep trying hasn't pushed her away. Saying she doesn't know how babies are made and asking you about those positions are strange for her age. I'd guess she wants to wait but instead of saying it directly she's saying those things. Why don't you tell her it seems like she wants to wait and ASK her how she feels. If you don't want to wait date someone else. 2
Lani Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Yeah dude, how about a bit of romance? No need for rose petals and and heart shaped bed, but a finger bang in the car and forcing her panties off isn't going to get you far at all. I'm not surprised she's pushing you away. I also think you need to ask her, because if she's not ready and you force her, then things are only going to end badly. You're treading a very thin line. What I think you should do is this- Ask her if she will spend the night with you. That you'll take her to dinner and then you will go back to her house and spend the night (to make her feel more comfortable). Whatever happens there happens. Don't force it. But I'll bet that if she likes you, and you romance her just a little, and be willing to spend the night with her whether she's promised you anything or not, you'll have far more luck.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 met this girl before at mall and we hung out. we already went out like approx 8-10xs. we kised on date 3 and then date 4 we made out in car and fingering. im not her first guy or bf. she acts innocent around me asking what is doggy style, missionary and pretending not to know how babies are made. shes 25. shes unemployed for 2.5 years but another time she mentioned it was only one year. she says she likes me a lot and im the best bf she ever had. the first time she said it was too painful to have sex when i fingered her -though a week later i asked her to go doctor to see why she got pain she responds back with ah ah there was no pain.so i couldnt have sex with her. another time in car i had to push to get her pants off and her panties off and shes very hestiant in sex with me. shes moving her hips so my dick misses and starts thrusting against her thigh. she says she loves me and likes me a lot but so hestiant in sex. other times she complains that i didnt have a car since we just met up at a certain locaiton and went from there. so i got the car and later on in the text she saying shes not sure she wants to sit in my car for safety reasons. lol another time in the car shes very hestiant to have sex with me this is on date 9. both times she says shes on period- one time a week ago and another 2 weeks ago-excuses be it period or i dont feel like it or not know. seems like shes very hestitant with wanting sex with me. she has had sex with guy on 2nd date and 3rd and it took me this long . why does she make me wait so long. she says she has to see if she has feelings first . i paid for her a few times for meals since shes unemployed and a few times she tried to take the change money. i gave her a small teddy bear aas a gift and she was telling me how her sister's bf gave her a bigger bear and a rose, she also has no friends from what i see and also never had a serious bf before. she said she scared i might sex her and leave her and i said i wont . we are bf and gf i also notice one time she says she loves me and another day im ok, and another day she likes me and has feelings. she changes her mindset very fast. hahahaha am I the only one that caught that? She's going a bit far with the acting. 3
Lani Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 hahahaha am I the only one that caught that? She's going a bit far with the acting. Yeah, the chick does sound more than a little nuts. But he seems to like her, so he should at least have a shot.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Yeah dude, how about a bit of romance? No need for rose petals and and heart shaped bed, but a finger bang in the car and forcing her panties off isn't going to get you far at all. I'm not surprised she's pushing you away. I also think you need to ask her, because if she's not ready and you force her, then things are only going to end badly. You're treading a very thin line. What I think you should do is this- Ask her if she will spend the night with you. That you'll take her to dinner and then you will go back to her house and spend the night (to make her feel more comfortable). Whatever happens there happens. Don't force it. But I'll bet that if she likes you, and you romance her just a little, and be willing to spend the night with her whether she's promised you anything or not, you'll have far more luck. He should take her to McDonald's.
iKING Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Yeah, the chick does sound more than a little nuts. But he seems to like her, so he should at least have a shot. That was the part that made me ....What? Holy sheltered if that's true. Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt though, I agree with your advice on the matter, he should get some romance going and forget about sex for now. If it happens, great, if not, great. It's obviously he needs to take his time with this one.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 You're basically a typical guy trying to get laid joel...and because of her past experiences, she can tell and she's also afraid of the consequences in that emotionally. I think you're just saying and doing whatever it takes to really attempt to "charm" this girl (and i used that term very loosely) into sleeping with you. But instead of paying attention to really anything else, it seems like you can only focus on one thing. I definitely wouldn't trust you if I were her, and she knows in her gut that she shouldn't...but she doesn't know what else to do, so she's trying to figure out ways to trust you and believe you...even though it hardly comes off genuine and sincere, you're basically just acting desperate and with a one-track mind. You're not giving her what she needs or trying to understand her, nor gaining any of her trust and extinguishing her fears...which many guys tend to do with "empty promises" and fake gestures. Now maybe you're attentive in others ways and have positive qualities she can see due to her presence of dealing with your relentless persistence to have sex...and that's why she made the comment of you as a Bf I'd imagine. However you definitely don't understand women nor how to gain her trust, and until you lay off and take a step back and realize how engaged and determined you are to have sex...you won't be able to see what it is you are talking about...and I doubt you've really put my effort into that, you're basically just trying to force yourself into her pants as soon as possible. When she had sex with those guys on the 2nd or 3rd date, maybe she thought they were into her, she probably didn't think they would just leave or disappear...and yet they did anyway. So obviously is she can somehow prevent that again, she'd probably like to. However I will say that you shouldn't have to "suffer" the consequences of her past choices in her life, however it's reality that she will be affected by them. And If you want to be with this girl you either need to understand that and accept it, or put more attention on other things than trying to get laid...or move on to someone much "easier" or more willing to have sex from the get-go, it's up to you...but you can't control her or make her do something she doesn't feel comfortable in doing, she'll just feel bad about herself for it. 2
Lani Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 That was the part that made me ....What? Holy sheltered if that's true. Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt though, I agree with your advice on the matter, he should get some romance going and forget about sex for now. If it happens, great, if not, great. It's obviously he needs to take his time with this one. Yup. Do you know where babies come from?
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 That was the part that made me ....What? Holy sheltered if that's true. Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt though, I agree with your advice on the matter, he should get some romance going and forget about sex for now. If it happens, great, if not, great. It's obviously he needs to take his time with this one. She's playing aloof to get this guy off her back to appear more conservative and innocent...but trying to deter him from being overzealous in his advances, but still wants his attention and persistence...as well as likely teasing with him a bit as I'm sure sounds quite gullible and easily manipulated. Giving people the benefit of the doubt....HA! 1
iKING Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Yup. Do you know where babies come from? Are you just wanting to get me talking about female reproductive organs again?
Lani Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Are you just wanting to get me talking about female reproductive organs again? I just wondered if you're in the mood for Mexican... 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Dude, in the car, really? Sexually, you are coming on WAY too strong (even nowdays I ditch guys for doing that) and you sound as romantic as a dead fish. I don't blame her at all. 3
iKING Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I just wondered if you're in the mood for Mexican... Always. I don't put in on a pedestal, I put it on a platter. Yum. Ninja has a point to an extent OP, she did go a bit overboard in trying to convincing you she's super innocent. You seem to be really interested though, so give it a little while and take it as it comes. It's admirable that she values her sexuality I say. Warm her up to the idea and perhaps she will, who knows really, but I wouldn't make it my top priority with her. Let her come to you if she wants it. That doesn't mean no fooling around but wait until she's comfortable to try to go all the way. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Always. I don't put in on a pedestal, I put it on a platter. Yum. Ninja has a point to an extent OP, she did go a bit overboard in trying to convincing you she's super innocent. You seem to be really interested though, so give it a little while and take it as it comes. It's admirable that she values her sexuality I say. Warm her up to the idea and perhaps she will, who knows really, but I wouldn't make it my top priority with her. Let her come to you if she wants it. That doesn't mean no fooling around but wait until she's comfortable to try to go all the way. Yep, that's what someone probably told her she should do and that guys hate "sluts". Still, this guy sounds like no prize. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Stop pressuring the poor girl If it were me there'd be a Kimberly shaped hole in your door by now, so dont continue to blow it Yep I get flashbacks of all the guys that were like this with me and feel :sick: 1
iKING Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 If it were me there'd be a Kimberly shaped hole in your door by now, so dont continue to blow it That part cracked me up It wouldn't even be a house door, it'd be a car door. So much romance. 3
phineas Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Yeah, the chick does sound more than a little nuts. But he seems to like her, so he should at least have a shot. Yeah, I thought the exact same thing once about a woman who would say & do things that were a little overboard then act like it was nothing or made up silly excuses for her behavior. Guess what? She actually was crazy, bat-chit crazy. She was also trying to lead me on & when she realized she couldn't chump me she went completely off the deep end. It made me when it went down but now i'm kinda about her. OP, 8-10 weeks, how much time & money have you been spending on this 25 yr old who claims she doesn't know what doggy style is or how babies are made? LOL!
phineas Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Yep, that's what someone probably told her she should do and that guys hate "sluts". Still, this guy sounds like no prize. Right, because an unemployed 25yr old woman who thinks telling a man she doesn't know where babies come from doesn't make her look retarded is considered high value in today's society. The fact the dude has stuck around for how many months without sex at his age means he is either desperate or actually likes her. I'm hoping he's desperate because then we might be able to talk him off that ledge of celibacy he's on. Though if he actually likes her I can't see why. She really doesn't appear to have much to offer a guy his age now does she?
Author joel Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 Yeah, I thought the exact same thing once about a woman who would say & do things that were a little overboard then act like it was nothing or made up silly excuses for her behavior. Guess what? She actually was crazy, bat-chit crazy. She was also trying to lead me on & when she realized she couldn't chump me she went completely off the deep end. It made me when it went down but now i'm kinda about her. OP, 8-10 weeks, how much time & money have you been spending on this 25 yr old who claims she doesn't know what doggy style is or how babies are made? LOL! i dont spend much on her like 12 dollar on her part per meal since she got no job so i pay how was ur girl crazy? examples she even told me she doesnt now how to do bj. but had sex with guys before me
clia Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I don't know how to ask this without potentially offending you, but something really seems off about your girlfriend. Is she developmentally disabled or mentally handicapped in some manner? (Again, I really don't mean to offend, but the way she is acting does not seem normal for a 25 year old.)
phineas Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 i dont spend much on her like 12 dollar on her part per meal since she got no job so i pay how was ur girl crazy? examples she even told me she doesnt now how to do bj. but had sex with guys before me she never made it to "my girl" stage. She was basically hot & cold with me. Attempting to Lead me on. Trying to get me to buy stuff for her by saying "i'd love to goto that super expensive concert with you but I can't afford the ticket" Basically trying to chump me. She cancelled on me 3 weeks in a row then went off the deep end when a hotter woman we both know asked me to hang out. LOL!
zanzi Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Hang on what? she's a 25 year old women, claims to have slept with other people but says she does't know where babies come from? Does this girl have learning difficulties or something? As for sex, It probably hurts because she is tensed up, a virgin, or probably both and doesn't want to admit it. Also if she's unemployed and can't even pay for her own meals on a date, thats pretty sad. She may think it's "cute" to act innocent, but no 25 year old women should reasonably behave that way. It just seems bizarre to me.
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