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Super-egoist Ex-Gf contacts to help her find an internship in my city...

ryandxtreme

By ryandxtreme
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ryandxtreme Member

ryandxtreme

Posted
Posted (edited)

Friends so here's what happened...

 

I saw 2 missed calls from my ex-gf of 2 years yesterday morning while I was at work...I was busy that time,after an hour i called her back and there she was with the sweetest voice that only she can make asking me "Hey ! how have u been ? "..I said I was good and after that she asked me if I could arrange for an interns in my city for her(We live at different cities these days)...I was like shell shocked..It was the most unexpected thing not only because there are a lot of awesome companies where she lives but because given her ego she wouldn't ask for help from me over a career issue...But she has been trying to contact me over the last 2-3 months over some pretext or the other ..

 

Next she says, her mom is going to spend the summer at her paternal aunt's place who lives in my city and hence she will have to come over here...The point is I have known her mother for long..She is not the type who would go and spend 2 months at a relative's place...

 

I said okay ! I will try and see if I can arrange something...I asked what sort of company was she aiming for and she was like "anything shall do"

 

The last time we talked 4 weeks back I made it very clear to her that we can't be friends ever...And even though two years have passed since we broke up but we were too close to be just friends..I told her if she ever needed any help she could contact me not otherwise..

 

Here's a link of what happened last time..

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372998-recent-escapades-ex-gf-2-years#post4599700

 

Friends I really want some opinion about what is going on in her head..Looking forward to your advices

Edited by ryandxtreme
geegirl Established Member

geegirl

Posted
Posted

I went back to read your past threads and they all read about an ex resurfacing. Assuming it's this ex. You identify that she does this all the time yet you still allow her to play you like a yo-yo.

 

Are you hoping to get back with her and that is why you keep the lines of communication open?

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

I would say screw it and treat it like any other business transaction. If she's only looking for and internship, throw a couple a leads her way and move on. Don't detour the conversation away from the internship information. And then, that's that!

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ryandxtreme Member

ryandxtreme

Posted
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Posted

@ geegirl : Yes she is the same ex ...And somewhere deep down I still hope she would come up one day saying " let's get back together honey "...but I have not allowed myself to get friend-zoned...

 

@ Chi townD : Is she trying to get an internship here to come and stay near me for sometime ? Because her reasons for coming over here seemed pretty lame to me..She has been talking about meeting up quite a few times over the course of the last time we were talking...

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

Posted
Posted
@ geegirl : Yes she is the same ex ...And somewhere deep down I still hope she would come up one day saying " let's get back together honey "...but I have not allowed myself to get friend-zoned...

 

@ Chi townD : Is she trying to get an internship here to come and stay near me for sometime ? Because her reasons for coming over here seemed pretty lame to me..She has been talking about meeting up quite a few times over the course of the last time we were talking...

 

For the first time, I think Chitown might be saying it nicer than I would! Dude, your ex knows your buttons and is using it to try and benefit herself. I can promise you that this has nothing to do with you, only for her gain. This is 1000 percent her and 0 percent you. I know that sucks to hear, but that is the honest truth. You might be in the mindset of since you told her you cant be friends, and some time has passed that this is her way of getting communication open in the hope that she wants you back in her life. Thats what you want out of this correct? You wouldn't be writing this is she was just a friend looking for some work would you? It would be just another item in a day. Because this is your ex, you WANT there to be something to be brought upon with this, but I dont think there is.

  • Like 1
oracle Established Member

oracle

Posted
Posted

Forget whats "Going on in her head" That is nothing but a recipe for setting yourself backwards.

 

"The last time we talked 4 weeks back I made it very clear to her that we can't be friends ever...And even though two years have passed since we broke up but we were too close to be just friends..I told her if she ever needed any help she could contact me not otherwise.."

 

That is a contradiction in and of itself. You are talking the hard talk but you are leaving your arm outstretched for her regardless.

 

If you were too close before to be just friends now, then the b*tch needs to be dead to you now..

 

Don't answer the phone, don't talk to Ghosts!

 

 

 

 

Friends so here's what happened...

 

I saw 2 missed calls from my ex-gf of 2 years yesterday morning while I was at work...I was busy that time,after an hour i called her back and there she was with the sweetest voice that only she can make asking me "Hey ! how have u been ? "..I said I was good and after that she asked me if I could arrange for an interns in my city for her(We live at different cities these days)...I was like shell shocked..It was the most unexpected thing not only because there are a lot of awesome companies where she lives but because given her ego she wouldn't ask for help from me over a career issue...But she has been trying to contact me over the last 2-3 months over some pretext or the other ..

 

Next she says, her mom is going to spend the summer at her paternal aunt's place who lives in my city and hence she will have to come over here...The point is I have known her mother for long..She is not the type who would go and spend 2 months at a relative's place...

 

I said okay ! I will try and see if I can arrange something...I asked what sort of company was she aiming for and she was like "anything shall do"

 

The last time we talked 4 weeks back I made it very clear to her that we can't be friends ever...And even though two years have passed since we broke up but we were too close to be just friends..I told her if she ever needed any help she could contact me not otherwise..

 

Here's a link of what happened last time..

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372998-recent-escapades-ex-gf-2-years#post4599700

 

Friends I really want some opinion about what is going on in her head..Looking forward to your advices

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted
For the first time, I think Chitown might be saying it nicer than I would! Dude, your ex knows your buttons and is using it to try and benefit herself. I can promise you that this has nothing to do with you, only for her gain. This is 1000 percent her and 0 percent you. I know that sucks to hear, but that is the honest truth. You might be in the mindset of since you told her you cant be friends, and some time has passed that this is her way of getting communication open in the hope that she wants you back in her life. Thats what you want out of this correct? You wouldn't be writing this is she was just a friend looking for some work would you? It would be just another item in a day. Because this is your ex, you WANT there to be something to be brought upon with this, but I dont think there is.

 

LOL!! HEY!!! I'm a nice guy! I just don't pull my punches. :)

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ryandxtreme Member

ryandxtreme

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

As people here suggested I forwarded a few leads to her... and also asked her to mail me her resume so that I can send it to a few friends..

 

She sent it over ..To be honest it wasn't in a good shape..That was understandable since she is still in college..I made a few changes here and there(actually gave half an hour to it) and then asked her to add something and send it back to me again..I kept the call thoroughly professional,no small talks,it was hardly for 2 minutes..Then I forwarded that CV to a few friends...

 

This was on Saturday..Haven't heard from her since,it's as if the whole responsibility is now mine to get her the interns at my city...I on the meantime had talks with quite a few friends..Nothing concrete has come out as yet...

 

I work at a very famous company(not boasting or anything ) and I have enough contacts here to get her an internship here itself..But that would be the dumbest thing to do,so that's not an option ...

 

To be honest I am a responsible person and so I'm finding it hard to not help her out.. Also I had told her a month back when she tried to contact me that we can't be friends and to contact me only if she needs any help..I don't know if I am able to explain it here but now I am finding it upon myself to help her out..Otherwise I might appear an hypocrite or unworthy..And this is kind of bothering me,that unless I can get her something I will be proven to be a hypocrite

 

Should I continue trying or should I just take it lightly from now on since she isn't showing any eagerness what-so-ever from her part ??..I am starting to get a feeling that this whole this was nothing but an attempt from her to just contact me...

 

Any suggestions friends ???

Edited by ryandxtreme
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted
As people here suggested I forwarded a few leads to her... and also asked her to mail me her resume so that I can send it to a few friends..

 

She sent it over ..To be honest it wasn't in a good shape..That was understandable since she is still in college..I made a few changes here and there(actually gave half an hour to it) and then asked her to add something and send it back to me again..I kept the call thoroughly professional,no small talks,it was hardly for 2 minutes..Then I forwarded that CV to a few friends...

 

This was on Saturday..Haven't heard from her since,it's as if the whole responsibility is now mine to get her the interns at my city...I on the meantime had talks with quite a few friends..Nothing concrete has come out as yet...

 

I work at a very famous company(not boasting or anything ) and I have enough contacts here to get her an internship here itself..But that would be the dumbest thing to do,so that's not an option ...

 

To be honest I am a responsible person and so I'm finding it hard to not help her out.. Also I had told her a month back when she tried to contact me that we can't be friends and to contact me only if she needs any help..I don't know if I am able to explain it here but now I am finding it upon myself to help her out..Otherwise I might appear an hypocrite or unworthy..And this is kind of bothering me,that unless I can get her something I will be proven to be a hypocrite

 

Should I continue trying or should I just take it lightly from now on since she isn't showing any eagerness what-so-ever from her part ??..I am starting to get a feeling that this whole this was nothing but an attempt from her to just contact me...

 

Any suggestions friends ???

 

Nope! You are not in charge of her future intership. You did what you said you would do in a professional manner. You got her a few leads and cleaned up her resume. You should be out of the loop right now. Totally hands off. That's that....

 

In business, that's networking. Who knows, years down the line when you're completely over her and if she gets hired on through her intership, you have an inside and you can remind her that you did her a solid at one time.

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ryandxtreme Member

ryandxtreme

Posted
  • Author
Posted

@ Chi townD :She called me up today and said she had gotten excited at that time to get an internship at my city but her excitement has died down right now...I said okay so I won't try anymore...she then asked me when I would return to my hometown(where she lives too) ,incidentally I have plans to return next month..So i told her that and she was like make sure u meet me when u return...I said we'll see ...

 

As I was thinking another attempt of her at small-talk and keeping me hanging :p

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