McDonald Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Hey LS Wow does time fly. I feel like it was only yesterday that I posted about my breakup. Well.. 4 months isn't that long lol but still, longer than I thought I could last. Becoming indifferent is a great feeling... I'm not there, but it feels close. I saw her yesterday and I waved, she smiled.. That was it and I felt fine However these past three nights I have dreampt about her. I haven't done this in a month or so... But for some reason she's in my dreams again... The first two nights I basically didnt get her bak in my dream and then last night however, I did get her back... So I know that won't happen but do dreams like this happen to anyone else? Do they go away for a while and come back? It sucks because I was almost over it then I have these dreams! It's like my mind is saying nooo don't fully let go!!
SimonSerenade Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 4 Months after a big break up feels like a life time, especially when every painful minute drags on so slowly, you'll get to that indifferent feeling eventually, I remember when I could finally look at my ex for what she is instead of the fantasy my mind made up, I was giving her all kinds of metaphorical fingers after that lol, either way I could talk to her and not really feel hurt or anything. Dreams like this happen to everyone, it can be a horrible gut wrenching feeling when you wake up, it can ruin your whole week but that's all it is, it's a dream, I remember dreaming that I was still with my ex girl, felt just like it did when I was with her, when you wake up and realise it was just a dream, it puts you in a horrible place, we've all been there though I'm sure and it passes, just don't worry about it and keep up your progress. I remember even when I was over her I'd dream about her, only then it didn't bother me cause I was over her, I was thankful she wasn't there when I woke up lol trust me, you'll get there, just be patient, take it easy on yourself and don't take the dreams to personally, you'll let go when your good and ready. 1
Author McDonald Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 Im always too hard on myself. So I do have to be easier on myself. Its just hard to accept this because you would think something you put more energy into than anything else.. ever... fails.
GB25 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I do believe the dreams after a break up is a part of you're subconcious that is not accepting the absence. I believe it is the fantasy of the person you created that keeps you "hooked" not the actual person. The fantasy youre mind created of this girl will hold on to dear life before it lets go. Our subconcious is one son a of B, but it is very powerful and sometimes truly letting go may seem deceiving. Our conscious mind might say" hey we are letting go" I no longer care..but that little bit of "hope" you are describing is that tiny subconcious that hasnt fully accepted it yet and those are the recurrent dreams 3
SimonSerenade Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I know it hurts man, you invested a lot of emotional time into this relationship but dude, she wasted that time, you didn't, don't give her the satisfaction and waste more of your time not recovering from the break up, you sound like a nice guy to me and there's plenty of girls in the world who've got a whole lot of emotional time to invest in to nice guys, just got to keep your head up, keep smiling and keep on going best you can. 1
Author McDonald Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 That's some great advice. I have to stop idealizing her and recognize there are others. She just moved on so quick.. Well she broke up with me for someone else. So she's always had a shoulder to lean on. But me... No. I stopped talking to alot of friends because she didn't like me talking to other girls. But this other guy comes and she talks to him. Not fair at all
RiceaRoni Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I do believe the dreams after a break up is a part of you're subconcious that is not accepting the absence. I believe it is the fantasy of the person you created that keeps you "hooked" not the actual person. The fantasy youre mind created of this girl will hold on to dear life before it lets go. Our subconcious is one son a of B, but it is very powerful and sometimes truly letting go may seem deceiving. Our conscious mind might say" hey we are letting go" I no longer care..but that little bit of "hope" you are describing is that tiny subconcious that hasnt fully accepted it yet and those are the recurrent dreams Yeah I used to and still occasionally have dreams of my ex and I meeting up and talking things out or him telling a friend he made a big mistake. When in reality I could never see him doing that lol
SimonSerenade Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 That's some great advice. I have to stop idealizing her and recognize there are others. She just moved on so quick.. Well she broke up with me for someone else. So she's always had a shoulder to lean on. But me... No. I stopped talking to alot of friends because she didn't like me talking to other girls. But this other guy comes and she talks to him. Not fair at all That's probably the hardest kind of break up to get over, just knowing you've been replaced, comes out of nowhere, I did the same thing when my ex left for somebody else, I just couldn't quite weigh up why I felt so strongly and she didn't, the thought of being with another woman at that point crumbled my heart into little pieces yet it was just so easy for her to jump all over this guys banana and coconuts, leaves you feeling meaningless with a niggling desperation bringing you down for her to come back and tell you how much you meant cause damn there actions don't show that, I lost out on a lot of friends too, I never talked to girls as a kindness to her as I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and back then most of my friends were girls, I just had to go it alone but it made me stronger and it'll make you stronger, hang in there dude. 1
RiceaRoni Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 That's probably the hardest kind of break up to get over, just knowing you've been replaced, comes out of nowhere, I did the same thing when my ex left for somebody else, I just couldn't quite weigh up why I felt so strongly and she didn't, the thought of being with another woman at that point crumbled my heart into little pieces yet it was just so easy for her to jump all over this guys banana and coconuts, leaves you feeling meaningless with a niggling desperation bringing you down for her to come back and tell you how much you meant cause damn there actions don't show that, I lost out on a lot of friends too, I never talked to girls as a kindness to her as I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and back then most of my friends were girls, I just had to go it alone but it made me stronger and it'll make you stronger, hang in there dude. Omg the same thing with me :/ I couldn't imagine getting with another guy let alone hanging out with another guy. My friends that were guys would post comments on my pictures on fb telling me I was pretty and stuff and I'd delete them to refrain from my ex to see them. I'm liking the single life right now though and I think we all will enjoy it for a while because it's good to have time for ourselves, and hey! We're free now! No commitments or stress haha go with the flow
Author McDonald Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Lol I feel more stressed now than ever!! She just made me, make myself codependent on her. and the way she strung me along at the end. saying how she hopes we will get back together.. asking me to meet up wit her to get food.. then i see her holding hands with someone else days later... it crushed me. Im doing everything I wanted to do after the break up and am doing everythign i did while I was single... working out everyday, going out with friends. but im just not as happy.. I remember this one girl I was really good friends with.. my ex didnt like that i texted her so she told me to stop... I had to tell my friend that we couldnt talk for awhile... how dumb is that.. then i tell her she cant talk to this other guy, who she left me for, and she said she couldnt stop.
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