singme2sleep Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Today's Thoughts: Someday I will be ok, someday I will prob be over him. And maybe I'll even meet a new guy, but one thing is for sure...I will never love another man as much as I loved him. This relationship was different from others I've been in. I know that stupid expression "there's other fish in the sea" but that fish was one of a kind. Anybody else agree with my feelings? 3
Bigcitydreamer Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Nope I disagree. U will love someone more. He broke up with u therefor there is potential for a better relationship. It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies like u thought. U have to realize that in the history of the world there isn't one person who isn't capable of loving again. Can I ask how old u are? How many breskups have u had? What was the reason he broke up with u?
misswillow Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I do agree with this. I think I am quite a bit older than you, and have experienced several relationships, and this one exceeded them all by a lot. Maybe another one will be good in a different way, but I know I will never have the same strength of feeling. Nor will I let myself, because it is too much of a risk for me to take ever again. 4
Bigcitydreamer Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 How do u know this for sure tho miss willow? There are billions of men in the world. What makes u think that the one man that dumped u is as good as it gets?
Author singme2sleep Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Bigcitydreamer- I'm 25, before him there were 3 and he broke up with me because he was overwhelmed and felt he needed to be alone to sort himself out. Misswillow- Thanks for agreeing. I have had other people tell me this too, with their own relationships.
Bigcitydreamer Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I'm 25 too and I'm not a psychologist or a professional but I just don't believe that the one that is best suited to u would break up with u! That's just my opinion and I hope for yours and misswillows sake that you guys are wrong and can find even better love
Hope737 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 This relationship was different from others I've been in. I know that stupid expression "there's other fish in the sea" but that fish was one of a kind. Anybody else agree with my feelings? I completely agree, there are PLENTY of fish in the sea, but there is always that special one that slips through the net. Sure you can love again and see other people but your mind always returns to the one you let slip through your fingers. Anyway, every situation is unique and there's every chance you can get over this person. Chin up and try to keep positive. 1
misswillow Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 How do u know this for sure tho miss willow? There are billions of men in the world. What makes u think that the one man that dumped u is as good as it gets? I'm 41, and I have a lot of years of experiences to back this up. It really is not often that you find a deep connection with another person, at least that has been my experience. Sometimes you just know that it will never be like this again. 1
Author singme2sleep Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 I may be young, but I've learned a lot in my time on this earth. Real love doesn't come along everyday, it's rare. And the kind of connection I had with him, I don't expect to have with another man. I'm not just saying that because I still love him and am not over the relationship yet, I could see myself looking back years later and feeling that he was the one who got away. And he was/is the only guy in my life besides my grandfather, who I would have done anything for.
KS11 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I definitely agree, and it scares the hell out of me. Maybe has something to do with her being the first person i've loved. But its more than that, its finding that compatibility with someone and allowing yourself to be totally you when you're with them. One of the things that struck me most was the fact that she not only 'put up' with my (sometimes) weird ways, but actually loved them. I duno, to me, I can't really imagine finding someone else who I connect with better. I think thats partly because of the friendship we had before we became more.. 3
ThatJustHappened Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Today's Thoughts: Someday I will be ok, someday I will prob be over him. And maybe I'll even meet a new guy, but one thing is for sure...I will never love another man as much as I loved him. This relationship was different from others I've been in. I know that stupid expression "there's other fish in the sea" but that fish was one of a kind. Anybody else agree with my feelings? That's not even remotely for sure. You can absolutely love another man as much as you loved your ex..or more. It's hard to see that now because you're still in so much pain..but I promise you, everyone has those thoughts when they're going through a break up. It's just not true. You and everyone else think that the person they recently split from is special. He's not. There are a million more out there like him, or better, because the right one won't break up with you. These thoughts will fade eventually..I promise.
Amelie1980 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I'm 34 and have had a few relationships. I can honestly say I've never had anything like it with my most recent and don't think I will again. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I'm 34 and have had a few relationships. I can honestly say I've never had anything like it with my most recent and don't think I will again. Once again..everybody thinks that. It's not true. I'm 29 and I've been very seriously in love twice. I thought I'd never get over the first one, but the second one was even better.
Author singme2sleep Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Well we all have our own life experiences, which leads us to our own opinions...
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Well, I've got to jump on this one too I'm 41 also and it just seems like at my age, opportunities are more rare and rare. My ex fiancé was 31 and absolutely beautiful (and so much more too). And what really has me worried is that I really tried to be careful and proceed with caution as to not get hurt. I knew I was at risk because of how I felt about her. And, the first 2 years were great. I mean great. But somewhere around 6 or 8 months ago, I noticed a definite change. Then, sure as can be, I get the dreaded "I don't feel that way about you anymore" And… BOOM. Here I am. Now, as I try to just survive this, I look around and see so many attractive young people, and I think, ****, I'm screwed… I'm too old for anyone at this age. And I look at people my age, and there is so much baggage and bitterness. I hope this is just an illusion as I am in a tough place emotionally. I just don't feel positive about my future love life. And if I do find someone to love again, what's the point? I see so many common themes on these forums. My BF or GF just doesn't love me anymore. After months or years of being happy together. WTF? OK, as I read this, I realize I sound very negative But it's just how I feel right now. SCREWED!! 1
oracle Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Of course it will never be the same.. There are no two people alike on this planet. It WILL be different, and possibly better. You need to accept the fact that nothing in your life will last or stay the same. Today's Thoughts: Someday I will be ok, someday I will prob be over him. And maybe I'll even meet a new guy, but one thing is for sure...I will never love another man as much as I loved him. This relationship was different from others I've been in. I know that stupid expression "there's other fish in the sea" but that fish was one of a kind. Anybody else agree with my feelings? 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Bigcitydreamer- I'm 25, before him there were 3 and he broke up with me because he was overwhelmed and felt he needed to be alone to sort himself out. Misswillow- Thanks for agreeing. I have had other people tell me this too, with their own relationships. 25?!?!?! And you think this is it? and wont love anyone harder!?! haha I differ with you 1000 percent. You are heartbroken now and you think this is as good as it gets. DEAD WRONG. If it was, you would still be together. Simple truth: You will find it again. Everyone does...or at least those with a good heart and spirit. You will love someone as much if not more and realize what you are saying right now looks stupid. It will happen just as certain as the sun rises and sets.
KatZee Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Nope. Don't agree with this at all. It obviously didn't work for a reason. So if it didn't work, how can your mind on a rational level, try to say you won't find something better? You will, because that relationship WILL WORK. I thought the same thing after my first love dumped me. "wahhhh I'll never love again, i'll never find someone like him, i'll never find someone better than him." And I didn't. Know why? Because I HAD that mentality. I completely closed my mind off to a healthy mindset and I sabotaged myself. Lo and behold I did love again, and this love was different. It felt as good, if not better than what I had previously. That relationship is now over, and I KNOW why it's over. I felt so strongly for him, but am I going to tell myself that it'll never happen again? OF COURSE NOT!! I've learned my lessons, and I'm taking those lessons on to bigger and BETTER things. 1
Author singme2sleep Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 You need to accept the fact that nothing in your life will last or stay the same. I'm sorry but that IS depressing!
Author singme2sleep Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Well, I've got to jump on this one too I'm 41 also and it just seems like at my age, opportunities are more rare and rare. My ex fiancé was 31 and absolutely beautiful (and so much more too). And what really has me worried is that I really tried to be careful and proceed with caution as to not get hurt. I knew I was at risk because of how I felt about her. And, the first 2 years were great. I mean great. But somewhere around 6 or 8 months ago, I noticed a definite change. Then, sure as can be, I get the dreaded "I don't feel that way about you anymore" And… BOOM. Here I am. Now, as I try to just survive this, I look around and see so many attractive young people, and I think, ****, I'm screwed… I'm too old for anyone at this age. And I look at people my age, and there is so much baggage and bitterness. I hope this is just an illusion as I am in a tough place emotionally. I just don't feel positive about my future love life. And if I do find someone to love again, what's the point? I see so many common themes on these forums. My BF or GF just doesn't love me anymore. After months or years of being happy together. WTF? OK, as I read this, I realize I sound very negative But it's just how I feel right now. SCREWED!! I think it's okay to be negative sometimes. Life is never always rainbows and sunshine. With each person in your romantic life, you love them differently, no two are the same. But some of us aren't being overdramatic (like other posters are saying) by feeling what we feel. Yes, we can love more than one person in our lifetime, but you only get one "Love of your Life" and nobody is going to convince me differently!!
KatZee Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I'm sorry but that IS depressing! Why is this depressing? How do you think people GROW and evolve? By remaining stagnant and doing the same thing day in and day out? I'd probably put a gun to my head if for my ENTIRE LIFE nothing changed, I had the same routine, never met ANY new people... I think I would just be bored to death. This is what life is. Changing. Growing. Experiencing. Learning. Lessons. 2
KatZee Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yes, we can love more than one person in our lifetime, but you only get one "Love of your Life" and nobody is going to convince me differently!! You're like stuck in some sort of reality in which movies and books has dictated what you think "true love" is. There is no ONE love of your life. I've had two so far. And I will have a third, and maybe a fourth. People come enter your life and exit for various reasons. They're either there to help you learn, or you're there to teach them. It is THIS mentality that will keep you stuck, keep you pessimistic and COMPLETELY closed off to meeting someone even better. If that's the way you want to live your life, more power to you. But wouldn't you want to live a life of positivity and excitement for what's yet to come? 2
Author singme2sleep Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Ok, I'm not trying to start a debate. I feel how I feel. Maybe ten years from now I will see it all different. Maybe.
ThatJustHappened Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Slow clap for KatZee. You made the point I was trying to make far more eloquently than I did. OP, you're being negative right now because you're hurting. Will you ever find a guy who's exactly like your ex? No, probably not. Will you find a guy who is better? It's not only possible, but it's probable. I'm sure you feel like your life is over right now but what we are trying to tell you is that it's SO not! There's not just one person out there for everyone. There are multiple 'right' people for everyone. You will find another one. Your ex was the right guy for you at a certain time in your life. The next one will be the right guy for the next stage of your life. That's how it works! Everyone needs to have their heart broken at some point. It'll make you appreciate it when the next real thing comes along. Things are going to get better for you. Hugs!! 1
ThatJustHappened Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Ok, I'm not trying to start a debate. I feel how I feel. Maybe ten years from now I will see it all different. Maybe. Oh it'll be less than 10 years. I give it a few months. You'll be mostly healed by then, and probably ready to start dating again, and then you'll see that there are lots of fantastic guys out there.
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