Infomercials Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Hey...resurrecting this account after quite a while. Almost exactly two years ago, I was here...I'd just broken up with my then-boyfriend, and really didn't know what to do. I went NC, a lot of people here helped out, and we got back together about three months later and were happier than ever. Fast forward about a year, and we get engaged. We were blissfully happy during that time. I graduated from school, he was working, we weren't living together at the time, but we saw each other almost every day and would talk every night if we didn't. We actually moved pretty far away from where we were living, and we stayed with my family a few months before we moved in together. That was about 4 months ago. Our relationship has not been "perfect." We've been through a lot together. He grew up in a really toxic family, so he had never actually seen a good relationship. I truly, truly don't think he was trying to hurt me. He just didn't know how to act in a relationship. Although I wasn't his first girlfriend ever, he didn't have a ton of relationship experience before me. We were young when we got together. He just did a lot of stupid things (never cheating or anything like that). He's told me he was afraid to be honest with me about some things because he's afraid to hurt me. Says he can't handle hurting me in any way. I've been trying to plan our wedding, but he's been really hesitant. Then, this morning, he tells me he thinks he's not ready to get married. He thinks he's too immature and needs to grow up more, etc. Which is true. So we've been together for six years, and I've been in love with him since high school, and I have no idea what to do. We'll still have to see each other some in the next few days...we'll have to untangle our lives from each others'. The not getting married thing was not a dealbreaker for me...he feels like leaving is the best decision. He thinks he's hurt me too much, and maybe he has. I don't know if I have the healthiest view of our relationship..I just want him to stay so badly. I just have always believed that we were soul mates. It's hard to get into all the reasons, but we should never have met each other...it doesn't make sense that we did. But we did, and we fell in love, and I can't imagine my life without him. He loves me, but he loves me enough to leave and grow up if that makes sense? I don't know. Any advice/wisdom would be appreciated. Also, can someone please tell me that breakup sex is a horrible idea? I know it is, and I don't even think he would, but I can't help wanting it really, really badly. The thought of never being with him like that again is making me sick.
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