Sivok Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 So I was talking to this girl from OkCupid for the past week or so. We went out Tuesday night and it went well. Conversation between us was fluent, we had similar interests and shared the same sense of humor, laughs were had, and not a single word of conversation was forced. We ended the night with a kiss as well. In my eyes, it was a great first date. However, overall, I'm not sure how attracted I am to her. She seemed a bit shy when it came to flirtations - maybe that had a little bit to do with it. Or maybe I see her more as a friend. Should I at least give it another shot?
NiceGuyDTW Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 So I was talking to this girl from OkCupid for the past week or so. We went out Tuesday night and it went well. Conversation between us was fluent, we had similar interests and shared the same sense of humor, laughs were had, and not a single word of conversation was forced. We ended the night with a kiss as well. In my eyes, it was a great first date. However, overall, I'm not sure how attracted I am to her. She seemed a bit shy when it came to flirtations - maybe that had a little bit to do with it. Or maybe I see her more as a friend. Should I at least give it another shot? Absolutely. It's just a first date. You had a good time...just go with it.
MidwestUSA Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yes, absolutely yes. I would venture to say most people are somewhat reserved on a first date. Good luck!
sabre80 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Give it a shot man. It was not till my 4th date that I felt any spark for my now girlfriend. She opened up and was more relaxed then. It was all spark after that.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Agree. Since you enjoyed your date, go on a second before deciding. Especially with shy people, it can take a while for them to come out of their shell.
USMCHokie Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 For what little it's worth, I recently read somewhere that men don't work quite the same as women when it comes to "spark." Women can grow a spark with a man over time as she gets to know him better, but if a man doesn't get that spark relatively soon, it probably isn't ever gonna happen...
JMCOSU838 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Unless there is some kind of second date mandatory engagement, I'm not sure what you have to lose by going on a second date. There's nothing preventing you from dating other people as well.
curlygirl40 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Another vote for 'go!'. When I'm on a date with someone new, I think on very simple terms. 'Do I like this person enough to see them at least one more time to see where it goes?'. If the answer is yes then I go. Nerves might have kept her from being her true self so you might get to know her better the next time. Maybe next time have an activity date that might bring out her personality more. Bowling? Rock climbing? Something like that?
cdt76 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Totally agree. I know within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone if there is a spark. I actually was out last night at a bar and I struck up a conversation with a girl. First time EVER doing that in a bar too by the way and I'm 42. She gave me her number as they were heading out to another place. I knew within seconds she was my type and I thought she was attractive. I'm wired differently then most though.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I went on a date with a guy from OKC. He was interesting and the one date we had went great. Had coffee and talked for a few hours. I did the whole "Thanks for coffee I had a good time!" Got a "Thanks, me too!" and never went out again. Sometimes the "feeling" just isn't there, even if the conversation goes great. 1
daletom Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 So after 1 week of "talking" (does that mean on a project team at work? Email? Phone? Text messages?) and 1 date you want a GO/NO-GO decision? I think most companies would want more interaction than that before deciding to hire a janitor - and you're thinking about investing part of your life with this lady. See her again! OK, so I've only been on about 4 "first dates" in my life. (Not counting the times when friends asked me to join them for some outing or event, just to balance out the M-F ratio. Or the roommate who asked me to pick up his fiance and entertain her for the evening until he returned from an out-of-town trip.) Only one of those 4 was a one-time thing, and that was her choice. My first, first date, felt awkward and strange and exciting and clumsy and nervous and the girl almost had to tell me, "Hey idiot! Can't you tell I want to see you some more and find out what you're REALLY like?". That became a relationship of over 7 months. Another first date turned into about half a dozen fun meetings over a couple months but didn't get serious. And then there was the first date who kissed - REALLY kissed, SERIOUSLY kissed - and one year plus two weeks after that first date we became husband and wife. (And still are, 38 years later.) But that last first-date was somebody I had been exchanging letters with for over 3 months before we met. They were real letters, on real paper, 2 or 3 times a week, and getting progressively more serious. We were well acquainted, and almost in love with each other, before we even laid eyes on each other. (In retrospect, an excellent way for two quiet-and-shy people to become VERY acquainted with each other.) The less you already know somebody - as an acquaintance, co-worker, penpal, etc - the more artificial the first-date is and the more you really need a second (or third, or . . . ) date to get an accurate impression. The amount of contact you have had with this girl could be enough to know that you definitely, strongly, DO NOT want to spend more time with her but it's hardly enough to know whether you really are, or could become, attracted to her.
Object_a Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Maybe the woman was just nervous or not sure about you. I would try for a second date in this case to see if she starts to loosen up a little once you get to know each-other a little better.
curlygirl40 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Sivok-What did you decide to do? Inquiring minds want to know....
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Give it another shot, I was really nervous on my first date with my guy (who I too met on OKC) and so I struggled with flirting too but as we warmed up to each other it became easier. I'm so glad he didn't dump me based on that lol
Author Sivok Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 I went on a date with a guy from OKC. He was interesting and the one date we had went great. Had coffee and talked for a few hours. I did the whole "Thanks for coffee I had a good time!" Got a "Thanks, me too!" and never went out again. Sometimes the "feeling" just isn't there, even if the conversation goes great.This is exactly how my date felt. Conversation was fluent and at ease, but that 'feeling' wasn't there. I took a day off from contact with her and on the 2nd day I texted her back and forth for a bit. Honestly though, after every text I realized how not-into it I was... I decided to keep it as friends
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