Kermit Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 My GF broke up with me, pretty mutual actually. I could have gotten back with her because she only did it because she was trying to get a rise out of me. But actually i kind of wanted it at the time so just left and never really came back. She contacted me a lot after the breakup. Saying she loved me, missed me, needed me, and never really wanted to break up. I told her i would take her to dinner the next weekend I got back from my business trip. The Thursday before our scheduled date she called me on the phone, telling me she couldnt wait to see me and how much she loved me. Told me to not find anyone else cause she was saving herself for me and wanted me to do the same. Told me I still had her heart and always will. THE NEXT DAY i got a text from her when i was at work saying "Sooo i have been thinking and i dont think we should talk anymore, sorry". That night I sadly saw on FB that she took pictures making out with some guy, (Like an immature kid, we are in our 20's BTW), and was "in a relationship". This news really angered me. I found out that 5 days after they met, she moved in with him and brought her kids to live with him. They are now engaged but it doesnt say they are engaged on FB. Something seems odd about all this. Also he left for basic training for 5 months a few days after they got together so i feel like she is only committing because she can get his apartment, a car to use, and all his furniture and assets while he is gone. We fought after i found out about this news and she told me she never wants to hear from me again, that she wants to act like we never met. She has contacted me over email a few times because she apparently had a miscarriage and needed someone to talk to about it because she was sad. I basically told her to write her new "fiance" a letter if she was feeling bad as it was none of my business anymore. Here comes where i need your guys help. This girl is obviously bad news for me. She has baggage, is a whore, and cheats and lies constantly as she basically did with me. She is broke, has nothing, and has no future ahead of her. So why do i care that she is with this poor schmuck who got suckered into her moving in with him? I dont know but i do. I miss having a girlfriend, someone to be intimate with, someone to talk to, someone to see when i am down. I just miss that affection. I dont have it anymore. But she does, she got to move on straight from me to someone else and gets that feeling all over again, while i am left out in the cold with nothing except myself again. I am having a hard time because of this. I think about it all the time. I think about what is going to happen once this guy comes back from basic training and they are living together. I just feel left out and really sad. Can you guys offer any lifting advice i can ponder through? P.S. I have posted about this before and everyone helped me. I just want some more advice if i can have it. I know i should be glad its over, but im still dwelling on it. Today has been a rough one. Thanks,
calgary Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I read somewhere that, when things don't work out with this guy in a month or so, that she'll have two relationships to cry about and it'll really affect her, apparently rebounds are good for making a person realize what they had in the first place.. they compare the new guy/girl to you constantly and that's when they start to appreciate you rather than take you for granted... but by that time you don't want them back.
Author Kermit Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 I read somewhere that, when things don't work out with this guy in a month or so, that she'll have two relationships to cry about and it'll really affect her, apparently rebounds are good for making a person realize what they had in the first place.. they compare the new guy/girl to you constantly and that's when they start to appreciate you rather than take you for granted... but by that time you don't want them back. The problem with that is that from what I can see this new guy is giving her exactly what she wants. He gave her a ring, an apartment, a car, and all his stuff to use while he was gone for a half year after just meeting her. So she basically just got a bunch of free stuff that would cost the average person thousands of dollars and she doesnt even have to deal with him at all because hes gone. She tried to pressure me into marriage, kids, and moving in while we dated too. But i told her we should wait alittle longer before making such commitments. I was trying to be responsible and apparently that angered her. She only likes relationships that she gets "things" out of. Not love and affection, but rather physical items that can benefit her in some way. I gave her flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, and took her out to dinner all the time, but i didnt give her a place to live and bring her kids a long with her. And apparently that is the only thing she is interested in. So sadly, i think this relationship will last a long time for them, because she wont break up with him because she has it made. And he wont break up with her because hes apparently desperate since he asked her to marry him 5 days after knowing her. They may be miserable together, but I dont see a breakup occurring anytime soon. But i may be wrong.
geegirl Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Kermit, you yourself said the relationship was never going to go the distance. You admitted that you were embarrassed to tell people about her. You called her a slut and someone you picked from the gutter. Well beneath you. She was with you while married to another man. Had kids with two different men. Bounced from you to another and engaged in 5 months. Whenever you start to romanticize the relationship, try to go back and remember the realities of this woman. You're in love with an image. You were lonely, and you attached to her, red flags and all because it's all you had. Now that it's gone, you're back to being that same guy again. You want the idea of it all regardless of the realities. Along with that, your ego has taken a huge hit. Understandable. It comes with feelings of rejection. We've all been through it. Just something you have to go through but in time when you start gaining perspective, you'll realize there's nothing great about what this guy has and it's no loss to you because she was never a prize. And if they stick it out, it's not an indication that he was better but that the dysfunction between them works. It could never have worked for you. Rebound or not, she is not good for you.
Author Kermit Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Bounced from you to another and engaged in 5 months. . Actually it was 5 days. Even worse I know. Doesnt really change the outcome of all this, just makes her look more insane i guess. But anyways i do appreciate the advice. It helped so thanks.
geegirl Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Actually it was 5 days. Even worse I know. Doesnt really change the outcome of all this, just makes her look more insane i guess. But anyways i do appreciate the advice. It helped so thanks. Yikes! Yes, 5 days!
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