I'm in love with my best friend. Do you think she will give me a chance?

[dangeroustoys]

I am so much in love with my best friend that I would do anything for her. She knows that I care about her and love her so much, but she doesn't want to take the next step with me. I am heading for a divorce and she is in a shaky relationship. What do you think she will do?

 

 

Background:

I have been married for 3 years and the loving feelings for my wife has diminished year after year. I got married for all the wrong reasons and now I am trying to make up for my mistake. I have been lonely the last two years even as a MM, and about 9 months ago, my co-worker and I started getting close. She and I hit it off and we quickly became best friends. She has known for about 7 months that I love her and that I am in process of getting my divorce, but she has a thing against MM and divorces. We spend so much time together at work, but we don't spend any time outside of work. She doesn't let me. It seems like she is afraid...

 

She and I have so much in common and so many similar interests. She would rather do things with me rather than with her BF. She trusts me more than her BF. She is more honest with me than with her own BF. I know everything that she doesn't like about him, and I know that she is not completely happy with him. She doesn't tell him everything that she and I do. She lies to him most of the time. They actually lie to each other.

 

The BF is so insecure with himself. He knows that I am in the picture, but he doesn't know to what extent. The BF and I have talked on 2 occasions and I have been more honest with him than she has. He also knows that I am getting a divorce, and is afraid that she will choose me over him.

 

She was previously engaged to someone else and then that abruptly ended a few years back. Now with the BF, she rejected his proposal about 7 months ago. Is it a coincidence? She doesn't want to marry this guy, but she is in process of buying a home with him. Of course after that, she is still not sure if he is the right one. She appears to be settling for him instead of looking for that true love.

 

I have promised her the world and would give up so much for her, just for a chance to be with her. She tells me that I would be the one if I had never gotten married. It broke my heart when she told me that because I can't change the past. I can only fix it going forward...

 

I tell her that it is "all or nothing", but she still wants to be friends with me even if she doesn't take that next step, which is not fair. It's not fair because I love her so much, and I'm not willing to give up either.

 

Does anyone have any insight on what she may be thinking? Will I ever get my chance? Thanks!

[littleflowerpot]

get a divorce first before you even think about it. she's told you she has a problem with extramarital affairs (MM). she may or may not get over the divorce situation and give you a chance but have respect for her and for your wife and don't push anything until you are divorced.

[sami]

I do agree with Littleflowerpot.