starla33 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 i was discussing this with girlfriends tonight apparently it's when you don't stay the night at the persons place after sex? for some reason the last few guys I have had casual sex with would always stay and cuddle all night and morning and be super affectionate. Confusing
Lani Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Basically it's sex without a a relationship. I've always stayed over afterwards though, it would just feel whorish to me if I just left after sex.
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Or even more specifically, sex with no intention or possibility of a relationship. Sex just because it feels good. It boggles my mind how people always want to spend the night - if that's what you're there for - do the deed and part ways... maybe a thanks LOL. It happens but for the most part, I don't agree with it. Call me old-fashioned but I think it can be pretty destructive, especially if you don't know the other persons circumstances completely. Home-wrecker effect... 1
SJC2008 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 You'd think it's just a hookup and that's it but LS will show you otherwise. There are people here who have monogomous fwb's (doesn't make much sense to me either), behave like a couple without the title etc. It seems like there is a new quasi-relationship evolving now days in these fwb scenarios.
kaylan Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 If Im screwing you and youre not my official girlfriend, than its casual sex because Im only casually seeing you and can bail on you at anytime if someone else catches my fancy. 1
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 There are people here who have monogomous fwb's (doesn't make much sense to me either) Well at least they are being monogamous LMAO I really do wonder why people usually stay the night. I guess cause it makes us feel better? I guess the human race in general does "want" to be monogamous, at least somewhere deep down in their DNA. Maybe spending the night makes it feel more natural to us?? It is kind of an instinctive thing isn't it?
MrCastle Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 YOu can be affectionate and still be casual. I pride myself on being extremely romantic and passionate. Cuddling, sweet talk, whatever. At the end of the day though, I am not committed to you. That's what casual is. Casual is not robotic, mechanical sex with no emotion. There certainly can be emotion. But it is purely physical and for one reason or another, you don't want to be exclusive with one particular person. 1
SJC2008 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Casual is not robotic, mechanical sex with no emotion. There certainly can be emotion. But it is purely physical and for one reason or another, you don't want to be exclusive with one particular person. This is why casual/fwb get people hurt. The cuddling, passion, sweet talk etc. Someone is going to get feelings sooner or later. That's why casual sex should be done sparingly with the ultimate goal that sex should be in a R.
sillyanswer Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 It's cold outside. It's warm in bed. Why wouldn't I stay? I don't think staying suddenly makes it non-casual, so that can't be what defines it. 1
MrCastle Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 This is why casual/fwb get people hurt. The cuddling, passion, sweet talk etc. Someone is going to get feelings sooner or later. That's why casual sex should be done sparingly with the ultimate goal that sex should be in a R. Yeah because people in relationships don't get their feelings hurt I don't want a relationship right now (not until the right girl comes along) In the meantime, I'm not going to abstain from sex until I find her. Abstinence is unrealistic for me and my lifestyle. So, there is no other option for me but casual dating.
SJC2008 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah because people in relationships don't get their feelings hurt I don't want a relationship right now (not until the right girl comes along) In the meantime, I'm not going to abstain from sex until I find her. Abstinence is unrealistic for me and my lifestyle. So, there is no other option for me but casual dating. Yes people in R's get hurt so I don't know where you're going with that. I'm not anti-casual sex but like I said (in differnt words) that people act too "couply" and then one catches feelings. Look at what happened to Kaylan, are you immune to that happening? I just have a more black and white view on it. Do you wanna have sex or sex and be all lovy duvy? If the later save that for the GF and just have sex with the casual. For me acting like that with a casual/fwb is fake, it's not real.
MrCastle Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yes people in R's get hurt so I don't know where you're going with that. I'm not anti-casual sex but like I said (in differnt words) that people act too "couply" and then one catches feelings. Look at what happened to Kaylan, are you immune to that happening? I just have a more black and white view on it. Do you wanna have sex or sex and be all lovy duvy? If the later save that for the GF and just have sex with the casual. For me acting like that with a casual/fwb is fake, it's not real. But my problem is not physical intimacy. I am a romantic at my core. This includes dedication to foreplay, and after play, where yes, there is cuddling and pillow talk involved. So I cannot scale back what I'm doing in order to make sure the girl knows we are strictly casual. What I was saying, in regards to relationships, is people get hurt, whether they're single, or taken, or casually dating, or whatever. No one is immune to pain. So a casual girl may get hurt because she invested too many feelings, but then she could also enter a relationship and be crushed if her mate cheated, which is worse because her feelings for him would be stronger. Dating/relationships is always a dirty game. Someone is always getting hurt. This is not exclusive to casual relationships. I am aware of what happened to Kaylan and I got played a few days ago when a girl I thought I could see myself dating exclusively ran back to her boyfriend. Like I said, dirty game. Because emotions rule judgement when it comes to dating and emotions can change on a whim. 1
Archgirl Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 But my problem is not physical intimacy. I am a romantic at my core. This includes dedication to foreplay, and after play, where yes, there is cuddling and pillow talk involved. So I cannot scale back what I'm doing in order to make sure the girl knows we are strictly casual. What I was saying, in regards to relationships, is people get hurt, whether they're single, or taken, or casually dating, or whatever. No one is immune to pain. So a casual girl may get hurt because she invested too many feelings, but then she could also enter a relationship and be crushed if her mate cheated, which is worse because her feelings for him would be stronger. Dating/relationships is always a dirty game. Someone is always getting hurt. This is not exclusive to casual relationships. I am aware of what happened to Kaylan and I got played a few days ago when a girl I thought I could see myself dating exclusively ran back to her boyfriend. Like I said, dirty game. Because emotions rule judgement when it comes to dating and emotions can change on a whim. Well said babe, I entirely agree. Casual sex does not mean a lack of emotions All dating/types of relationships are risky. I don't even really believe in the term "casual sex", I've noticed it's usually used by people who have only had sex in clear cut committed relationships.
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