Flamegirl Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 My ex boyfriend of 3 1/2 years split up a year ago. We've remained friends, hes a good guy, has a good heart. But he dumped me in a very ****ty misguided, sudden way which has been hard to cope with. We had a good relationship he was very dedicated to his work, so it didn't leave much time for much else. We both loved each other as people. He told me he broke up with me because of his own issues he was going through. And even though we've remained friendly it started to get a little confusing. Him wanting to see me, telling me how great I was, looking at me like me loves and all of that weird stuff. We had a long period of time with out speaking and all of the confusing stuff started to occur when we were starting to become friends. And then after a long confusing weekend of spending time together, the rehashing of our break up started to arise. And he would say things like he wouldn't be able to make me happy and things of that nature. But it dawned on me that all these reasons he was using were reasons why I wouldn't want to date him, and so I pressed him on it, only to find that he just didn't see a future with me. It really was me all along. And I'm so torn, a part of me is relieved to really know where we stand and the truth that a reconciliation is out of the question. But the other half of me feels so ****ing horrible. Just humiliated and embrassed and hurt. Hurt that this man who I loved and admired so much could date me and get to know me and in spite of all my best efforts look at me and think this is not what I want. And I think I'm relatively good looking, charming and understanding individual. But I just can't seem to shake this horrible feeling and I'm so angry, And I'd love so much to tell him all of this, but he's such a victim of his own guilt I just don't want to play apart in all of that. But I'm really struggling to find way to look at this where I don't feel so rejected. Or to feel like I learned something from all of this to eventually be able to come out a stronger individual and say **** him. And I need help because I feel like I failing at all of this. Is it really just my ego? I don't think I have poor self esteem, but I feel sick when I think about it. Everyone I've talked to said I should have asked, and yes it would have been easier to believe it was him but I feel like I have a better chance of moving on knowing the truth. I'm just having so much trouble dealing with it. I want to be able to be friends with him, and we have decided it's probably still to soon to do that. But how do you become friends with someone who could disregard you like that. How do you forgive them, or rise above it?
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