Thunderchild Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) Good Morning Everyone Once again, congratulations on surviving to another day. May you find the strength you need to get through the next minute, hour, day, week etc. Another “tomorrow” has arrived and you are stronger for it. Am on Day 26 of full, hardcore, no nonsense No Contact with ex. I’m actually doing pretty well. If you’ve read some of my previous posts, I’ve come to the conclusion that I definitely do not want her back – or for her to be anywhere in my life. What she did was completely unacceptable - an absolute deal breaker. My trust in her has been shattered forever. I have no respect for her whatsoever. Once again, about 4 hours solid sleep – d*mn, I can’t get that sorted out at all. Call it ego, call it vanity, call it pride, but the fact that SHE CHOSE to sh*g someone behind my back - and fall pregnant to him - still stings. In my mind, I can hear my father saying ‘Get over it’. But, I never forget that I’m human. My pride is linked to my self-respect and self-esteem. And, they feed into my self-confidence and how I interact with the whole world. There’s just too much at stake for me to simply sweep my self-respect under the carpet. So, in my more reflective moments, I have been contemplating the nature of cheating. My conclusions have been that it is a selfish, cowardly and lazy way to end a relationship. Apart from my ex - who was completely unwilling or unable to accept responsibility for her actions when I challenged her at the BU - most people understand that there’s no excuse for cheating. That ultimately such behaviour is indefensible. We may be fallible and human, but that doesn’t excuse cheating on someone you are in a relationship with. Whichever excuse the cheater tries to hide behind, the fundamental issue is always that it is ALWAYS about THEIR self-gratification/pleasure. They achieve this with no thought or consideration for others. Their motivation is entirely selfish. There is no altruistic form of cheating. They may have been drunk, but that doesn’t excuse the choices that they made that led to the event(s). We don’t excuse murder on the grounds of alcohol nor allow people to drive automobiles, operate machinery or indecently expose themselves in public. Drunk drivers are held accountable for the damage and injuries they cause whilst under the influence. Drunken cheaters are no different to drunk drivers. They knew what they were doing, they knew it was wrong to do so – and, that knowledge didn’t stop them. At some level cheating is invariably linked to the cheater’s failure to communicate their “needs”. And, ultimately, the cheater has to take ownership of that failing. It is not the responsibility of the other person to read their minds or second guess hints. If the cheater can’t be bothered or doesn’t have the bottle to communicate whatever issue, then cheating is NOT the appropriate answer. Have the guts/decency to raise the issue or get out of the relationship. It's all about personal responsibility and integrity. Right enough waffle for one day! Live long and Prosper Edited March 14, 2013 by Thunderchild 1
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