pushforward Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 GF of 1 year broke up with me a day after our anniversary. We didn't fight so there was no catalyst for the breakup. We both work with each other and she dumped me at lunch. Her explanation is that she needs time to be alone. She was in a 7 year relationship before me. She hasn't had the chance to be single. We've been talking about moving in together for a few months now and adopting children. I immediately went NC after verifying she wanted a break and I don't believe in breaks because that's break up. We haven't spoke, it's been 2 days. She e-mailed me something about work and I kept it strictly to work. I'm having a hard time coping. I'm angry, confused and sad. There wasn't a real reason as to why we broke up. I keep having random moments where I just keep crying and I'm doing everything to accept it.
Coping Vortex Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 GF of 1 year broke up with me a day after our anniversary. We didn't fight so there was no catalyst for the breakup. We both work with each other and she dumped me at lunch. Her explanation is that she needs time to be alone. She was in a 7 year relationship before me. She hasn't had the chance to be single. We've been talking about moving in together for a few months now and adopting children. I immediately went NC after verifying she wanted a break and I don't believe in breaks because that's break up. We haven't spoke, it's been 2 days. She e-mailed me something about work and I kept it strictly to work. I'm having a hard time coping. I'm angry, confused and sad. There wasn't a real reason as to why we broke up. I keep having random moments where I just keep crying and I'm doing everything to accept it. It's only been two days. Hang in there.
Author pushforward Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Day 3 NC Went to sleep crying. Woke up crying. I'm at work and numb. Tomorrow is a company BBQ, not looking forward to seeing her. Still sad and confused.
Coping Vortex Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Day 3 NC Went to sleep crying. Woke up crying. I'm at work and numb. Tomorrow is a company BBQ, not looking forward to seeing her. Still sad and confused. You have a long road. The beginning is the worst because you are used to communicating so much and it suddenly stops. You are in withdrawal. Trust you will get used to the non communication. Then you have to get over the denial the longing and the reminders of them. It takes time. It's been three and half months for me and the pain is real. I got past the the lack of communication but that is the hardest. 1
Author pushforward Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 I'm part denial and part acceptance right now. The denial part feels like this isn't over even though I'm going through extreme NC. I feel like the worst has yet to come. I'm having withdrawals. The sleepless nights, the terrifying nightmares and the waking up with the lack of power to do anything. I'm going back to lay on my bed. I want to at least squeeze another 10 minutes of sleep before work. The sadness continues...
BD74 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I really understand you. I had a relationship with a colleague at work for almost a year. For me it was perfect, but one day she said she didn't love me anymore and broke up. Having to see her everyday was horrible at the beggining, but I tried to keep it cool because we both loved our work and I didn't want to do anything that could make any of us lose it. Of course, you'll have to carry the worst part. I suggest that you only talk about work when it is needed, and NC for the rest. Barbeques, etc will be hard, but avoid them only if you feel really really bad. The last thing you need is people thinking that the BU could be affecting your work performance. After a couple of months you'll get used to the new situation, although it will be very hard. This happened four months ago and after a lot of pain I'm beggining to feel much better. She told me last week that she just met somebody, and I'm copying with it much better than I expected. Another advice, don't hide in yourself too much at work, keep talking to the rest of your colleagues to start being yourself again ASAP. By the way, I still have to do those 10 minutes in bed before going to work sometimes!!!
Author pushforward Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Day 5 of NC I'm still struggling. The loneliness and the thoughts of us. Where did our future go? I have to face the facts. She chose to leave our wonderful relationship.
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