Author tangosucka Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 haha ok ok sorry I just guess im in the mind state atm. well yea like i said, Im just interested in hearing opinions and experiences. ive heard ppl say yes their ex has come bak and ive heard say ppl say no. im a realistic kind of guy, so im not countin on anything and im not using these posts to determine whether or not anything will happen for me. i just feel a lot better after reading other ppls posts and i feel like its helping me with the moving on process. No, I wasn't criticising, I was simply asking..... Don't get all defensive.... It happens a lot.....ask anyone.... Newbies come in , posit, asking for support, counsel, advice - but then often persist in asking 'desperate' questions, because actually, what they really WANT to hear is the opposite to what everyone has told them, hitherto. And then, if among 165 posts, they get just one poster saying, "yeah, you could do it your way....." we get the - "you see, i knew i was right!" That's all... If I criticise, by the way - trust me: you'll know it.....
witmadskilllz Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 No, I wasn't criticising, I was simply asking..... Don't get all defensive.... It happens a lot.....ask anyone.... Newbies come in , posit, asking for support, counsel, advice - but then often persist in asking 'desperate' questions, because actually, what they really WANT to hear is the opposite to what everyone has told them, hitherto. And then, if among 165 posts, they get just one poster saying, "yeah, you could do it your way....." we get the - "you see, i knew i was right!" That's all... If I criticise, by the way - trust me: you'll know it..... While I do agree on this but it really depends on the current state of mind and it is apparent that the op is looking for answers in relation of his feelings at this moment which is what you described as 'opposite to what everyone has told them'. Although at the same time, in any case, it could be different but generally as a life guideline, op, you will definitely benefit the most from going NC and sticking with it. Honestly, down the road you will eventually reach to a point where she will no longer exist from your world and you will find nothing but peace afterwards. It is tough to swallow at the moment but as the others has mentioned, it's going to be even harder for you to evolve/grow and mature if you keep dwelling in the past. Whether she finds the right one after you and is happily married or not but so will you have the many opportunities and you'll probably know by then why it wouldn't have worked out at all with your ex. What I suggest from my own personal experiences, do things that make you happy, go out with friends, spend quality time with family, your hobbies that you left out and keep making productivity with these. Time heals all! FYI TaraMaiden - I do believe that girls have better support groups than us(girls do care emotionally for one another while men aren't so much) and so for us newbs who may happen to be men, that comes in to post and may happen to look for that one answer among 165 posts to maybe relieve some heartache temporarily while bombarded with hopeless and depressing truths... that's all we really ****ing get 1
Author tangosucka Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 see the thing is im already moving on, i dont see how it hurts me to discuss this topic tho. id rather talk about it and hear other ppls insights than have it running thru my mind. im not using the responses as advice or n e thing, i just legitimately wanna know peoples past experiences and opinions on the issue. While I do agree on this but it really depends on the current state of mind and it is apparent that the op is looking for answers in relation of his feelings at this moment which is what you described as 'opposite to what everyone has told them'. Although at the same time, in any case, it could be different but generally as a life guideline, op, you will definitely benefit the most from going NC and sticking with it. Honestly, down the road you will eventually reach to a point where she will no longer exist from your world and you will find nothing but peace afterwards. It is tough to swallow at the moment but as the others has mentioned, it's going to be even harder for you to evolve/grow and mature if you keep dwelling in the past. Whether she finds the right one after you and is happily married or not but so will you have the many opportunities and you'll probably know by then why it wouldn't have worked out at all with your ex. What I suggest from my own personal experiences, do things that make you happy, go out with friends, spend quality time with family, your hobbies that you left out and keep making productivity with these. Time heals all! FYI TaraMaiden - I do believe that girls have better support groups than us(girls do care emotionally for one another while men aren't so much) and so for us newbs who may happen to be men, that comes in to post and may happen to look for that one answer among 165 posts to maybe relieve some heartache temporarily while bombarded with hopeless and depressing truths... that's all we really ****ing get
AyushRao Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 It's hard man. It's really hard. But when you no longer want to be in a relationship with that person for whatever reason, no contact becomes easier. At times you'll miss them like crazy! like you need them like you really really do and nothing else matters and if in that moment of weakness, you contact her, you'll feel like **** later on and that feeling will return again and you'll keep wanting to contact her. Let that moment pass. This is one of the reasons i love my ego. You should know you're better than that. People who don't deserve you, will walk all over you if you show even a moment of weakness. no matter how hard it is, don't do it. You'll find yourself in a much happier state that you've been in a long time. If you really want to move on, then show the resolve. If you want her and you have a shot at getting her back, then go for it. Just don't regret doing anything. 1
McDonald Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Heres my story in short My first tru love broke up me because of someone else Being young and dumb I asked if we could stay friends because she was my best friend and first person I met at college.. Seh said of coruse we wil always be friends This all happened over winter break. So when i get back to school she messages me asking if i want to go get food with her... go to target with her etc. Everything we did while we were dating. I was crushed that i could call her my love anymore and sometimes I would slip and call her baby or babe by mistake because I wasnt use to calling her by her real name anymore!! Anyway... she told me that she hopes will will get back together blah blah blah... Shhe calls me one night drunk and I tell her that I feel like I need to stop talking to her to give her space to start to miss me... but then she said "i want to keep talking to you" So we continued to text... but each day she would repsond less and less But then I see pics of her and this other guy having fun at a party. I blow up... she tells me they wont be dating.. but then a week later I catch them holding hands!!!!! WTF is that... I text her a few days later Then she sends me a message saying that she cant take it anymore and I have to stop [sending her messages I thought] So I stop..... funny because that was my idea from the beginning... Then a few weeks later I see her out again with this guy one weekend night.. we live in a college town. Then that monday she texts me after saying I have to stop... she says "I just saw your friend jack lol" jacks a mutual friend who she barely knows. obvisuly she was trying to create a response... but I didnt reply, and I did drive me insane for a month because I was like.. what if I responded?? But I didnt . Now she will ignore me on campus if I dont say hi first. What havei learned? It's pointless to chase something that isn't there. It hasn't been there since day 1 of the breakup. So don't feel like there's a window f time to get them back. There isn't.
Author tangosucka Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 sad to hear bro, it seems like keeping in contact with exs or trying to be friends is just emotionally damaging. the last time i talked to my ex was a week ago now. the last time i texted her it was kind of like a goodbye text, telling her why i loved her, how much she meant to me, and then i just ended up saying good luck with every thing and hope it works out for her. Heres my story in short My first tru love broke up me because of someone else Being young and dumb I asked if we could stay friends because she was my best friend and first person I met at college.. Seh said of coruse we wil always be friends This all happened over winter break. So when i get back to school she messages me asking if i want to go get food with her... go to target with her etc. Everything we did while we were dating. I was crushed that i could call her my love anymore and sometimes I would slip and call her baby or babe by mistake because I wasnt use to calling her by her real name anymore!! Anyway... she told me that she hopes will will get back together blah blah blah... Shhe calls me one night drunk and I tell her that I feel like I need to stop talking to her to give her space to start to miss me... but then she said "i want to keep talking to you" So we continued to text... but each day she would repsond less and less But then I see pics of her and this other guy having fun at a party. I blow up... she tells me they wont be dating.. but then a week later I catch them holding hands!!!!! WTF is that... I text her a few days later Then she sends me a message saying that she cant take it anymore and I have to stop [sending her messages I thought] So I stop..... funny because that was my idea from the beginning... Then a few weeks later I see her out again with this guy one weekend night.. we live in a college town. Then that monday she texts me after saying I have to stop... she says "I just saw your friend jack lol" jacks a mutual friend who she barely knows. obvisuly she was trying to create a response... but I didnt reply, and I did drive me insane for a month because I was like.. what if I responded?? But I didnt . Now she will ignore me on campus if I dont say hi first. What havei learned? It's pointless to chase something that isn't there. It hasn't been there since day 1 of the breakup. So don't feel like there's a window f time to get them back. There isn't.
Author tangosucka Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 interested in hearing more, i come to this forum everytime i think about my ex and have the urge to call/text and it really helps
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