pink3000 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Me and my boyfriend were in a steady, healthy relationship. We were best friends beforehand and got along so well. We have extremely important exams in about ten weeks, we're both going for hard degrees (medicine and law) and because the semester is just beginning, after a couple of lectures he decided that we needed to break up, so we don't distract each other, because we need need NEED to get into our respective schools. He said that I was the greatest girlfriend but he's choosing his future over me, and I'm his biggest distraction. There are still feelings there, definitely. It's hurting me and affecting my study routine, and it's hitting him hard too... he's lashing out. I don't think he expected the breakup to be this hard. What do you think I should do? We have to be studying every single night. I have a feeling that he did this out of stress... family pressure and all that, but I'm not sure. What should I do? :/ Should I approach him about it and tell him that it'll all be okay... or just let him sort it out? I really want him to nail these exams. EDIT: by lashing out I mean... whenever I bump into him he acts like such a jerk, completely unlike the sweetheart he was when we were together. Is he trying to push me away because he doesn't care? It's only been a couple of days but I'm so confused. I don't know if I should talk to him :/
KatZee Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Firstly, there is no "us." There is only you, and him. If he wanted to get rid of you because you're a distraction, give him what he wants. Stay away. Do not call him, text him, email him or contact him in any way shape or form. I'm not sure why you're feeling so bad for someone who called you his "biggest distraction" and who said "I'm choosing my future over you" and who has now turned into a first class a.sshole. People who love you, don't behave that way. He's being incredibly immature, and he's handling it pretty poorly. He's lashing out b/c there are feelings still there, and it's easier for guys to handle splits by being angry, rather than actually feeling the pain and being hurt. For your own sanity, stay away from him. You can't worry about him anymore. He did what he needed to do for his own life, and now it's time for you to do that with yours.
CC12 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Should I approach him about it and tell him that it'll all be okay... No. Why are you even considering comforting him? He broke up with you. He doesn't get to cry on your shoulder anymore when something is bothering him. And I debated whether to say this or not but maybe it will help you, because you don't seem mad enough. I doubt the reason he gave for breaking up with you was his only reason. It's a pretty weak reason, if you think about it. If he wanted to be with you, he would have tried to make it work. He could have said, "We both really need to study so let's only stick to quick phone calls MonWedFri at 9pm until these exams are over." Or whatever. There are some pretty simple solutions to this problem. He didn't care to attempt them. So stop feeling sorry for him. I don't think you should try to talk to him. Just try to move on. You've got the perfect thing to distract yourself with. Ace those exams.
Author pink3000 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Wow I guess you're right, I didn't think of that :/ Everything we had was just so perfect, and I was convinced that the only reason he broke up with me is for school... his family is pressuring him so much and I figured he just reached breaking point. Is it possible for someone to do something like this out of stress, or am I deluding myself? :/
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