Bengal Tiger Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Are you saying most men would turn down a beautiful woman if she just wanted sex because he would feel used afterward? It's the disappointment, not the sex. If a man wants a romantic relationship and she doesn't, he's going to get his heart broken just like anyone else. Just because we're big and strong, doesn't mean we don't feel vulnerable.
crude Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Most men would happily have sex with no emotion if the woman was attractive. No problem. Women however don't necessarily have sex only for a loving relationship. I see women who want to be worshiped, found attractive, and also enjoying sex strictly for how it feels. I always do a test if a strange woman is up to it. Touch her, rub her, go down her pants, and see the physical effects even though there aren't any feelings for the feeling up, fingering stranger. Heart pounding, wetness, blood flowing to different spots, all with no love or affection. 1
dasein Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 LOL I work in scientific research Woggle. Ignorance is bliss though, I guess thousands of scientifically measured studies where they measure this hormone must be false... I don't care if you wheel Stephen Hawking around at Walmart, the mistake you are making is that any and all emotions related to sex or anything else men or anyone else might feel is necessarily related to oxytocin or any other hormone. Absurd. Sure you want to stick with this? or did I cry when Old Yeller died due to oxytocin somehow? :lmao: We aren't voles, lady. 1
Woggle Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Are you saying most men would turn down a beautiful woman if she just wanted sex because he would feel used afterward? Would most women turn down a gorgeous hunk that looked as good as Channing Tatum? 1
dasein Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I'm not saying men don't have feelings, but how many men would turn down sex with an attractive girl they liked if they knew she didn't want a relationship? Once she felt the tower of power she'd want a relationship. O YEAH. I just get them groggy with the hypnodisk, then brain drunk on oxytocin, easy peasy, building my own little Manson Family, so don't piss me off. 1
Krieger Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Kreiger, not attacking you, but maybe your next serious girlfriend won't be sexually experienced? If she's innocent and inexperienced, it might be better to experiment with physical stuff together? Just a thought... or just find a woman that will not lay there terri schiavo that might of been too soon ................ anyway I was way more adventurous then she was.
dasein Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 or just find a woman that will not lay there terri schiavo Oh that's so so wrong. Want to join my Manson family? I got 7 women so far, can reimprint 2-3 of them onto you if you like. They keep responding to my "wanna join a cult?" ad in the back of Cosmo, so need a few more guys to handle the overflow. Don't want to swim too deep in my own genetic pool while forming this army if you get my drift. 1
dasein Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Too late! 49 got your spot, OK 49 sending Mabel, Lilly and Bonnie your way with a couple of sheets of acid, hair clippers and some Beatles tapes. Do me proud! 1
pbjbear Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 You don't think very highly of men do you? Women that have figured out how men truly think are always referred to as "man haters" on this site. Dont take offense to it iris
Frogwife Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I don't care if you wheel Stephen Hawking around at Walmart, the mistake you are making is that any and all emotions related to sex or anything else men or anyone else might feel is necessarily related to oxytocin or any other hormone. Absurd. Sure you want to stick with this? or did I cry when Old Yeller died due to oxytocin somehow? :lmao: We aren't voles, lady. Agreed. I always chuckle at the "oxytocin" theories... if orgasms produce bonding chemicals, then my vibrator and I have a very deep and lasting love for each other... I used to buy into the "men can separate sex and feelings" myth until I started reading men's forums a couple of years ago (PUA, etc) ...from what I've read men write about over and over, I think they can be as - if not more - sensitive and emotionally attached than women. You see countless threads on "I slept with this girl, I have feelings, how do I prevent this?"... usually followed by a "try to sleep with lots of different girls - spin plates - to avoid having feelings"... and they analyze phone calls, text messages, body language, this and that... just like women do. (of course, men may come on here and deny that, but what they talk about 'when no one's looking' is more telling.) I think probably anyone can have a one (or two or three) night stand and not feel emotionally involved... but beyond that... it's pretty hard for feelings of some type not to get involved. That said - I'm still not sure how "being used for sex" works... I am assuming both parties are willing and know the score? I assume the experience is pleasurable for both? And if it's not, and you continue doing it... well, there is no one else to blame but yourself. Yeah, it sucks when something doesn't work out - we have all been there - but I doubt this "using" comes with any type of ill-intent or malevolence on the part of the other person. We are all just people and life, love and feelings can be very complicated.
TheGuard13 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 Agreed. In a consensual sexual relationship, I don't see how someone can use you without your permission.
Author MYCluciferase Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 RE: "I don't see how someone can use you without your permission..." It's a question of expectations, as evinced by all the fwb situations that were shared in the thread. (Whether there were different attitudes going into the fwb arrangement, or else someone changed their outlook, emotional investment, or just plain broke the rules.) I agree that in *some* of those case nobody was actually used, they just felt used because of their emotional realignment. In the story in the OP I thought - and was lead to believe - that I was getting into a relationship with this woman, but she was emotionally unavailable to me, or at least only minimally available. What she wanted was someone to have sex with and be a token 'boyfriend' while she continued to interact (and, I suspect, negotiate) with her exMM.
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