Bigcitydreamer Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Hey All, I'm going into my fourth week of NC and of my breakup from a 2.5 year relationship and man is it hard! It's been about 3 weeks since I was dumped by the man I was sure I was going to marry and NC is getting harder each day. I know it's for the best but I have been tempted to break it especially today. I keep thinking that I just need to talk to him as there was zero closure because after he kicked me out of his house I ignored any of his efforts to contact me. I was going to send him an email today. Apologizing for the way things ended and for the mistakes I made. I made quite a few major mistakes and got too comfortable thinking he would never leave me and have so many regrets. But then I snapped back into reality and remembered that he was the one who left me so really what can I say? I'm not in a good place right now. No where near indifference. I'd love to be able to talk to him and hold him but mentally I don't think I could take another rejection from him. I've been having more and more dreams about him as time is going on. I wonder if I reached out to him could this all be saved? I doubt it and I don't think I'm willing to risk it because I don't believe that he could have truly lovedme in the right way for him to break up with me the way he did. But ya it's definitely getting harder as time goes on. I miss him very much 1
crimsoncurrent Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Hey All, I'm going into my fourth week of NC and of my breakup from a 2.5 year relationship and man is it hard! It's been about 3 weeks since I was dumped by the man I was sure I was going to marry and NC is getting harder each day. I know it's for the best but I have been tempted to break it especially today. I keep thinking that I just need to talk to him as there was zero closure because after he kicked me out of his house I ignored any of his efforts to contact me. I was going to send him an email today. Apologizing for the way things ended and for the mistakes I made. I made quite a few major mistakes and got too comfortable thinking he would never leave me and have so many regrets. But then I snapped back into reality and remembered that he was the one who left me so really what can I say? I'm not in a good place right now. No where near indifference. I'd love to be able to talk to him and hold him but mentally I don't think I could take another rejection from him. I've been having more and more dreams about him as time is going on. I wonder if I reached out to him could this all be saved? I doubt it and I don't think I'm willing to risk it because I don't believe that he could have truly lovedme in the right way for him to break up with me the way he did. But ya it's definitely getting harder as time goes on. I miss him very much I'm on my second month of NC, and to tell you the truth, the process gets easier in some respects and harder in others. Or, at least that's what I've been experiencing. For the first month, I went through what I like to call "the addictive part" of NC, feeling those urges to reach out and make contact. Now, after two months, and especially because my decisions were the cause of the BU, I'm grieving over my ex, knowing that she is gone and there's nothing I can do about that, and if things were different, and I made better choices, we most likely would've been together. However, positively, the urges to break NC are not as strong nor frequent as they once were. So, I'm thankful for that. I'm sorry to hear your pain. Like you, I took for granted that person I was in a relationship with, and now, I feel felt more regretful. I'm not sure how consoling this is, but thought I'd share my experience. It's great to hear you're continuing NC.
Author Bigcitydreamer Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Thank you for your sharing your experience. Wow your situation does sound similar to mine because yes I did take my ex for granted so it does make things hard. I hope I don't have to go through this for longer then 2 months tho. I hate this grieving process so much! I try not to blame myself too much altho it's hard. I have seen couples who are in love forgive their significant other for taking them for granted. So I suppose if it was really meant to be we technically couldn't have screwed it up by our actions unless they were really bad and we weren't remorseful for them. I'd like my ex to know that I feel bad for what I've done but I feel like things are too far gone for us. And we had too many struggles. I hope you don't let your guilt get the best of u because if our exes really wanted to make it work they probably would have. At least that's what I tell myself. 1
crimsoncurrent Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Thank you for your sharing your experience. Wow your situation does sound similar to mine because yes I did take my ex for granted so it does make things hard. I hope I don't have to go through this for longer then 2 months tho. I hate this grieving process so much! I try not to blame myself too much altho it's hard. I have seen couples who are in love forgive their significant other for taking them for granted. So I suppose if it was really meant to be we technically couldn't have screwed it up by our actions unless they were really bad and we weren't remorseful for them. I'd like my ex to know that I feel bad for what I've done but I feel like things are too far gone for us. And we had too many struggles. I hope you don't let your guilt get the best of u because if our exes really wanted to make it work they probably would have. At least that's what I tell myself. In my situation, my ex forgave my actions several times, but again, I messed up, and she couldn't take anymore hurt. Don't know about your situation exactly, but if you really take a honest look at your actions, do you think your ex gave you a fair amount of forgiveness? It might have not been as blatant and as noticeable as my situation, but if someone is completely through with the relationship, it's my impression that they dished out a lot of forgiveness to the other person's actions while in the relationship and just couldn't deal with it any longer. This might just be a generalization, but I think it's worth investigating.
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