Airborne Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 OK. I've been out of the loop for a quarter century, but I would think that small talk, the weather,etc., would be a great icebreaker. It gets the conversation started right? Isn't that what it's supposed to be about? Rhetorical question there! I'm friggin' clueless, but it seems like that's the right thing to do Robman. Lovely weather we've been having lately, no? Can you believe it's this warm in March?
pyramid Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Don't give up so quickly. I've been "working" OLD for about a year. I consider myself pretty picky, and have been on roughly 12 first dates. About half get second dates, and there have been 3 that lasted 1-2 months. I've had the best luck lately with people that I initiated contact with. Why limit yourself to people that contact you first? Go for what interests YOU. Basically... you have to kiss a lot of frogs. Have fun with it! I was have been single for 6 years (after a 9-year relationship) and only dated very sporadically for the first 5. It's very different now than it was 15 years ago.
Author debber01 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Thats a very fair basic thing to request. just input what age range and if it bothers you so much, just note it in your profile description. ages below X or over X please dont contact me. simple. 33 for a 49YO is pretty young. you say mommy issues but it seems you like that there are many young guys today who like dating older women though. Im 41 and only date older women. seems to be more acceptable for a man to date a younger woman than an older woman to date a younger guy. Oh Rocketman I have stated specifically 33-40 whatever. Doesn't seem to make a dif. Mommy issues to me at least, are 18-24 or 25 y/O's trying to hit a 49 year old. <shudder>. Creepy. Sorry but just creepy. When I was younger, I really got along the best with guys that were 15 or so years older, so what's wrong with looking for a guy 15 years younger than I am now? Again. Just rhetorical! No war please! Just sayin. Younger women sometimes like guys that are 15 years older. Guys totally go for that 15 year younger woman. Women get older and decide they like a guy that's 15 years younger. Is there really a difference? Discuss! Go!
Malia25 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I hear ya debber. It really begins to run its course after a few weeks/months. I've been back on for a week after a 6 month hiatus. I dated/met 3 guys so far and am currently "talking" to another right now. I find it funny how the ones that I had the most in person chemistry and ease with in person are the ones that ended up being the biggest asses. But essentially, they had what I was seeking in a mate (good career, educated, hilarious, etc). Then the ones I had little chemistry with ended up being the nicest/genuine ones who I am still in contact with but feel no pitter patter in my heart for. =/ ugh. I feel the one I'm talking to now is going to pull the same move as what happened to you. He asked me to dinner, so I told him I was free this coming Saturday - and he responded by saying he "might be free" and he'll let me know as the date gets closer - and he's become a lot less flirty since then. o_O I don't know how to take that. I would think Monday would give you ample time to know your weekend schedule (unless something better comes along). I swear, it's become SO easy for me to become a guy hater!!!! LoL.
Art_Critic Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I did online dating from age 43 (on and off) until I found someone at age 47. It *is* work, but I would never have texted someone for hours... I did talk to hundreds of guys, went on 50+ coffee meet-and-greets, and worked it. If I found someone remotely interesting, I would try to push it to a phone call pretty quickly; I felt I could get a lot out of a person with a phone call and the hours of texting or back-and-forth emails would have driven me nuts. I grew a thick skin early on after a few first dates that provided heartbreak. It really is a numbers game, but can pay off if you don't get too invested too early on - as the OP seems to have... I totally agree with CarrieT... her pointers are accurate I met my wife on Match, I was almost mid 40's and she was late 30's, we have a 5 year old today It can be done, but as the says goes " you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince" holds true with OLD.. I had quite a few relationships from OLD last from 3 months to over 1 year and then I met my wife... 1
Art_Critic Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Basically... you have to kiss a lot of frogs. Have fun with it! hahahah, just read this.... true
Author debber01 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 seems to be more acceptable for a man to date a younger woman than an older woman to date a younger guy. Bingo! Ding ding ding. We have a winner! Lol. It's 'socially acceptable.' And stupid as hell! If the 60 y/o dude can have a 23 y/o on his arm, how come the 45 y/o woman can't have a 25 y/o on HER arm?! Not saying that I want to do that, but why the hypocrisy? Really?
Author debber01 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Don't give up so quickly. I've been "working" OLD for about a year. I consider myself pretty picky, and have been on roughly 12 first dates. About half get second dates, and there have been 3 that lasted 1-2 months. I've had the best luck lately with people that I initiated contact with. Why limit yourself to people that contact you first? Go for what interests YOU. Basically... you have to kiss a lot of frogs. Have fun with it! I was have been single for 6 years (after a 9-year relationship) and only dated very sporadically for the first 5. It's very different now than it was 15 years ago. Thanks Pyramid. I realize the whole kiss the frogs thing. It's tough after 15 years, 25 years or whatever. It's still difficult. Thanks for the encouragement!!
Soxfaninfl Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 seems to be more acceptable for a man to date a younger woman than an older woman to date a younger guy. Bingo! Ding ding ding. We have a winner! Lol. It's 'socially acceptable.' And stupid as hell! If the 60 y/o dude can have a 23 y/o on his arm, how come the 45 y/o woman can't have a 25 y/o on HER arm?! Not saying that I want to do that, but why the hypocrisy? Really? Hugh Jackman is with a women that's is 13 years older than him. I'm 37, and I seem to like women that around my age or older. I would never date a women in her 20's.
Author debber01 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 I hear ya debber. It really begins to run its course after a few weeks/months. I've been back on for a week after a 6 month hiatus. I dated/met 3 guys so far and am currently "talking" to another right now. I find it funny how the ones that I had the most in person chemistry and ease with in person are the ones that ended up being the biggest asses. But essentially, they had what I was seeking in a mate (good career, educated, hilarious, etc). Then the ones I had little chemistry with ended up being the nicest/genuine ones who I am still in contact with but feel no pitter patter in my heart for. =/ ugh. I feel the one I'm talking to now is going to pull the same move as what happened to you. He asked me to dinner, so I told him I was free this coming Saturday - and he responded by saying he "might be free" and he'll let me know as the date gets closer - and he's become a lot less flirty since then. o_O I don't know how to take that. I would think Monday would give you ample time to know your weekend schedule (unless something better comes along). I swear, it's become SO easy for me to become a guy hater!!!! LoL. OMG Malia. I feel your pain. I know I'm gonna get slammed for this but I read all about the guys on this site that think that WE blow THEM off! Here we are, two honest women trying to get together with these men. Yet WE have 'hundreds' of options--men are FALLING at our feet and we can pick and choose! Seriously?! Back me up here girl and let's tell them how it really is! We are out here trying as well, being honest. So WHERE are these guys that WE are looking for?! Lol.
Author debber01 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Hugh Jackman is with a women that's is 13 years older than him. I'm 37, and I seem to like women that around my age or older. I would never date a women in her 20's. Because you KNOW that someone in their 20s comes with a LOT of emotional baggage. They don't know how to just say c'est la vie yet. Because sometimes it just happens. 20 somethings generally can't handle that(generally). But most 40 something's get it. (Generally). Wow. Just answered my original question! An epiphany! Lol. 1
Soxfaninfl Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) Because you KNOW that someone in their 20s comes with a LOT of emotional baggage. They don't know how to just say c'est la vie yet. Because sometimes it just happens. 20 somethings generally can't handle that(generally). But most 40 something's get it. (Generally). Wow. Just answered my original question! An epiphany! Lol. I'm not saying this is true for all, but the 20 year old women that I've met usually haven't gotten to where they want with their careers or are still in school or their not ready to settle down or don't want to have kids yet. Edited March 14, 2013 by Soxfaninfl
ChessPieceFace Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 How does ANYONE slog through this OLD stuff?! I'm SO selective to the point of picky Then it's hypocritical to complain that the guy was selective and picky as well.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Wants someone trashy who doesn't believe in God? That's pretty specific, isn't it? When you do OLD you have to keep in mind that people aren't telling anything from the 1-99% truth. But you lived and you learned. I'm happy for you that you took the chance, but yes, in general OLD does suck. Haha this is true. Sometimes, I'll read a girl's profile and it'll be very eloquently written. Then when we actually talk, she writes in all slang and, sometimes, completely contradicts what she writes in her profile. Granted, I write in slang too when I'm talking to people, but everything about their responses feel different. It makes me wonder if some of them even wrote their profiles....or if someone else did it for them.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Because you KNOW that someone in their 20s comes with a LOT of emotional baggage. They don't know how to just say c'est la vie yet. Because sometimes it just happens. 20 somethings generally can't handle that(generally). But most 40 something's get it. (Generally). Wow. Just answered my original question! An epiphany! Lol. Hmmm....well, I didn't know about this rule. And here I am being all happy and having a good time when I should be busy having emotional baggage. Oh, thank you, older internet forum sage for your wisdom!
truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 there's a whole generation out there with a LOT of Mommy issues. and daddy issues... 1
Art_Critic Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 LOL. Just because these old letches think they can get a much younger woman - and are deluded enough to think they deserve one - doesn't make it so. :laugh: One thing that people need to keep in mind is that many of the profiles in OLD are also fake. There are many reasons they are fake, When I did OLD I had a fake profile of the opposite sex so I could go check out the competition without a guy seeing a guy look at his profile and my age was always really old... Another reason would be College kids doing papers for school, there are tons of profiles that are only looking to use a persons reaction for their results on their paper Don't forget Hookers, Escorts...they all use OLD sites to troll for customers and are more prevalent than people realize. and then don't forget the number of fake profiles that people set up just to kill time and then go post links to it on forums making fun of the people hitting on the entirely made up profile. Then... married people looking to cheat on their wives or husbands. So after wading through all that trash you have to find the jewels that shine among the rest to contact.
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