Breve Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Hi all, I'll try to keep this short. I have a guy pal, I met several years ago (going on 3 years). His name is Justin & he's around my age -- just turning 30 at the end of this year. We first met from a dating site. Thus obviously the main agenda would be to see if "we" had potential. Didn't really get each other then; however, through the years we'd knock back and forth texts or IMs online.....didnt really hang out. And it ended up where we'd talk about our terrible dating lives -- he'd share a lot and I'd try to advise and whatnot. He ended up giving up in dating for about a month now, focusing on himself and working out, etc etc. Just soon after that, when the smoke cleared, we somehow started talking about other things... And now we txt all day and talk on skype a lot when we cant meet up. The other day he came down and we spent close to 11 hours together. He helped me with errands i.e. grocery shopping (he carried my groceries up), we went out to eat, saw a movie. He paid for both of the latter things. We got back to my place, we just hung out, watched TV, browsed the internet. He then gave me the most intimate massage. And as like all other times he ends with a long hug. not a friend hug, IMO. it would definitely be a lover's-type hug. And he always likes to pick me up right after.. Never kissed etc, btw He has a lot of my photos on his phone and even took a few more, maybe not a big deal sounding off-top, but why would he need pics of me just sitting in my apartment? LoL. . I just feel since we talk ALL the time and things are great, that I feel as though I dont need a BF with him around. And it's even better now that he's not talking about other gals! topically, it looks like we'd be an item, but these things add up to make me think he's not interested: If i compliment him, he makes a joke. I need to factor in he said he was "off the market".. He doesnt really hit on me Never have kissed. Never held hands. a big obvious he hasnt requested to be exclusive So.. I dont know if he's waiting on me to start something up or what the deal is. what is going on here....? And how should I approach the matter? Is there any way I can hint at me digging him without rocking the boat? Or should I leave it alone and reevaluate later down the line?
Author Breve Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 uggggh, i dont know. he brought up the massage again while we were talking on skype. we are both sooo exhausted from work... and sleep-talking... I sleep texted him and he joked saying I was "drunk txting" .. and then replied "youre coming on a bit strong lady ;)" ... then i didnt really reply I only said "hmmmmm".. directly after that he replied "that's fine, it probably just seems that way" And with his comment of me drunk-txting I replied "im drunk on you =]" him: "I can't tell if you're serious or just messing with me...." And that is what lead him back into the massage conversation, him asking yet again was it good. etc. and "of course it was", I said. *SIGH* i know, sooo lame of me to say "im drunk on you" = W.T.F ? Rof..I should have taken a walk to think before I sent that. At any rate, I'm SO scattered. (I'm sure it's apparent:lmao:) He's feeling really bogged down because of work I'll probably tell him that I hope he feels better soon because he's the highlight of my day... =] He is......... I wont get talk with him much tonight since he's already so lagged from staying up super late to talk then waking up very early. *frown face* Doubt I'll get to see him this weekend.... so I cant say anything to him about my interest til I see him?!?!
Yamaha Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I'll say most guys do not spend lots of time with a woman unless they are attracted to them. He sounds like he likes you but is feeling you out if you really feel the same. Some guys don't take hints well so you need to let him know you like him in an un-deniable way. Do some strong flirting so he knows you feel romantic towards him.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 He's not attracted to you, but seeing as your presence is known, you are an easy distraction for him. Obviously, if he was interested in you he would've pursued you long time ago. And yes, guys and girls can just be friends if the guy is not attracted or he doesn't see a future with you. However, this does not mean he will turn down sex if you readily offer it up. Remember, two consenting adults agreeing to the hanky-panky does not mean he owes you anything the next day.
LuckyShades Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 I'll say most guys do not spend lots of time with a woman unless they are attracted to them. This. He spent 11 hours with you, helped you with your errands, and gave you a nice massage. I dont think a man would do all that for someone they don't have attraction for. Perhaps he's just a little shy and doesn't know how to clearly get his feelings across.
Author Breve Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 I didnt think he'd be spending so much time with me if he didnt enjoy my personality...? funny thing, right before we started talking a lot, I had mentioned I loved attention from guys.. He told me he needed alone time from girls because he loves his space.. NOW HERE WE ARE.... talking all the time. and he definitely initiates chats. and replies to txts pretty swiftly, so I definitely believe he loves talking with me; although, I''m not sure if he realizes hours & hours pass while we talk. He talked to me first thing when he got home. He took a nap and messaged me when he woke up. and I'm not sure how he is not attracted to me, after our "date" he said, "I think you were wearing the tight clothes for my benefit all day".. then went to say it was I was " shapely and lovely to view"... and he "obviously had to get a hands on towards the end"..... (which he actually ended up apologizing over -- saying it wasnt very gentlemanly.(but i surely didnt make a big deal out of it) Also, if he is not attracted in the slightest...... why have so many photos of me? O_O... i mean obviously, I want to be realistic... in thinking he may NOT be attracted... but he has face and body shots he took, he I also noticed he had some older photos of me. ... I'm just sooo confused. We're talking now on skype, but I definitely "laying low"/not flirting etc for awhile. [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][COLOR=#d13f72] [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT]
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 A similar situation happened with a girl that I recently dated. We met in school. I asked her out twice and she turned me down. I genuinely liked talking to her and we texted everyday constantly. Basically, I put her in my friendzone. She started hinting at liking me. I realized it and ignored it (didn't want to ruin the friendship.....YES I ACTUALLY FELT THAT WAY lol). She called me up one day and said "Honey Badger, we should date!" I played it off, but invited her out next time I went out. We ended up hooking up and dated for a while before I moved. Moral of the story: Try being direct with him.
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