westjames111 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) Just a little history first... a bit lengthy but the last paragraph is where my real question is. I am 23, my ex is 21 We dated for 2 years August 2010 - August 2012. We starting getting to arguments last August, so I decided to break it off for awhile so we could both reevaluate our lives and relationship. She was completely devastated when I broke up with her, but we stayed in close contact and saw each other about once every 2 weeks. Last December we decided to get back together, but I didn't want to be officially in a relationship because I was scared that it if we moved too fast that it would fall apart again. I wanted to slowly build it back up. We dated all through Christmas break, and everything seemed to be going great until we started back to college in January. We started arguing over small things again and it eventually led to us not talking for about a week. About a week later I found out that she had been hanging out with a mutual friend of ours. When I say hanging out I mean everyday. I questioned her on it and she just laughed and told me I was silly for thinking anything of it. Then the very next day I tried to talk to her and it was like she was a completely different person. She said I was right and he did like her, and she liked him too. I tried pleading but she was not changing her mind. She told me that I needed to move on and get over her because she was going to be with him now. She’s told me that she loved me more than anyone she has ever dated and she will probably never love anyone that much again, but she still had to do this. I was completely devastated and begged for her back but she got really mad at me and then started ignoring me. Now for the part I am the most confused about. This has been going on for about 2 months now. For the first 2 weeks she played pretty tough, but then started showing signs of regret. She even sent me a text telling me she missed me and was never going to be happy again. It would be a few days and then she would go right back to ignoring me. As recent as last week she showed up to my house to show me her new dog. She said she got it because it was one of my friends dogs and she felt like it had a connection to me. She also called last week and told me she regretted everything and she knows she hurt me really bad. She said I was her "soulmate' and she wanted me. She tried to get me to go to the doctor with her the next day but I refused. She cried and we talked for about 20 minutes before she said "I love you" and then hung up. 2 Days later she showed back up and said she wanted to go on a walk. I didnt go outside and so she left. Later that day "last week" she told me that this new guy is getting suspicious and read some of her text that she had sent me and walked out on her. She said she was going to block my number and stop talking to me because she wanted to earn his trust back and fix things. Its been about a week now and still no word from her. Im guessing she fixed things with him, or maybe she completely made that story up, I really dont know. I text her a few days ago and she replied "LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE. I haven't said anything to her since that. This new guy is completely opposite of me. He is outgoing, and a parties all the time, and also does drugs. He is not attractive at all, and not to sound conceded but I know I am a lot more attractive than he is and have even had other girls I have talked to tell me this after this happened. I just don't know what she sees in him. One final detail. I gave up so much for her yet she said I didn't show enough affection. I guess I didn't tell her "I love you" enough or something. I did however drive 3 hours home EVERY weekend for the first 2 years I was away at college to be with her. I gave up so much of my college life for her and sacrificed a lot of friends. The sad thing is seeing her now I don't think she would have ever done the same for me. She was the love of my life, and she said I was hers too. I just don't know what to do now, or what is going through her head. Did she really get over me that fast? Edited March 14, 2013 by westjames111
purplereigncb Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Just a little history first... a bit lengthy but the last paragraph is where my real question is. I am 23, my ex is 21 We dated for 2 years August 2010 - August 2012. We starting getting to arguments last August, so I decided to break it off for awhile so we could both reevaluate our lives and relationship. She was completely devastated when I broke up with her, but we stayed in close contact and saw each other about once every 2 weeks. Last December we decided to get back together, but I didn't want to be officially in a relationship because I was scared that it if we moved too fast that it would fall apart again. I wanted to slowly build it back up. We dated all through Christmas break, and everything seemed to be going great until we started back to college in January. We started arguing over small things again and it eventually led to us not talking for about a week. About a week later I found out that she had been hanging out with a mutual friend of ours. When I say hanging out I mean everyday. I questioned her on it and she just laughed and told me I was silly for thinking anything of it. Then the very next day I tried to talk to her and it was like she was a completely different person. She said I was right and he did like her, and she liked him too. I tried pleading but she was not changing her mind. She told me that I needed to move on and get over her because she was going to be with him now. She’s told me that she loved me more than anyone she has ever dated and she will probably never love anyone that much again, but she still had to do this. I was completely devastated and begged for her back but she got really mad at me and then started ignoring me. Now for the part I am the most confused about. This has been going on for about 2 months now. For the first 2 weeks she played pretty tough, but then started showing signs of regret. She even sent me a text telling me she missed me and was never going to be happy again. It would be a few days and then she would go right back to ignoring me. As recent as last week she showed up to my house to show me her new dog. She said she got it because it was one of my friends dogs and she felt like it had a connection to me. She also called last week and told me she regretted everything and she knows she hurt me really bad. She said I was her "soulmate' and she wanted me. She tried to get me to go to the doctor with her the next day but I refused. She cried and we talked for about 20 minutes before she said "I love you" and then hung up. 2 Days later she showed back up and said she wanted to go on a walk. I didnt go outside and so she left. Later that day "last week" she told me that this new guy is getting suspicious and read some of her text that she had sent me and walked out on her. She said she was going to block my number and stop talking to me because she wanted to earn his trust back and fix things. Its been about a week now and still no word from her. Im guessing she fixed things with him, or maybe she completely made that story up, I really dont know. I text her a few days ago and she replied "LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE. I haven't said anything to her since that. This new guy is completely opposite of me. He is outgoing, and a parties all the time, and also does drugs. He is not attractive at all, and not to sound conceded but I know I am a lot more attractive than he is and have even had other girls I have talked to tell me this after this happened. I just don't know what she sees in him. One final detail. I gave up so much for her yet she said I didn't show enough affection. I guess I didn't tell her "I love you" enough or something. I did however drive 3 hours home EVERY weekend for the first 2 years I was away at college to be with her. I gave up so much of my college life for her and sacrificed a lot of friends. The sad thing is seeing her now I don't think she would have ever done the same for me. She was the love of my life, and she said I was hers too. I just don't know what to do now, or what is going through her head. Did she really get over me that fast? Don't blame yourself dude. I did the same broke up with my ex, hoping she would change. Didn't think she'd jump on the next boat so quickly. If she could move on so quickly, what does that say about how she truly loved you?
blotter Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 "LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE". Does anything else need to be said? She's riding some other guy's jock now, what do you want from her? This is what women do who are under 25. Don't sweat it, go NC, move on. You are in college for crying out loud, extremely hot women are all around you, why not go and talk to them.
Author westjames111 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 See thats the thing. She always contacts me first.
witmadskilllz Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 hate to say this but you can't ignore the truth from reality here..., ahem, NC is the only way for you at this point in time because the more you dwell into this dead relationship which no longer existed when she broke up with you, the longer you waste your time healing and rebuilding yourself, your ego, pride and everything else that you had invested while in that relationship. Show her and let her know what she had missed by moving on and progressing! Although, there would be lonely days to come by still but don't forget that you are not alone in this as we loveshack peers got your back and we understand where you are coming from so no matter what, it is highly encouraging for you to forget her and keep doing things that involves positivity. 1
orionboxing Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 If she could move on so quickly, what does that say about how she truly loved you? Well she might have actually loved him. But she also might have some personal issues - or maybe she just plain CRAZY. I find that girls that move on so quickly from a long relationship usually have self-esteem issues, are needy, possibly narcissistic, or a combination of all of these things. These are the girls you want to avoid. I think about all the quality girls that I dated and the common thread with all of them is that it takes them a while to get back into the dating world. They can get by in life without a relationship....it's not something they absolutely need to fulfill themselves with. 4
Author westjames111 Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 Well she might have actually loved him. But she also might have some personal issues - or maybe she just plain CRAZY. I find that girls that move on so quickly from a long relationship usually have self-esteem issues, are needy, possibly narcissistic, or a combination of all of these things. These are the girls you want to avoid. I think about all the quality girls that I dated and the common thread with all of them is that it takes them a while to get back into the dating world. They can get by in life without a relationship....it's not something they absolutely need to fulfill themselves with. Well the funny thing is she is the one who keeps coming around. I don't contact her. Like I said last week she randomly showed up to my place twice, and called one night telling me she loved me and regretted everything. Then this week she hasn't said a word. It's like she dropped of the face of the earth again. I also told her I was going to try and move on and she said that I would never replace her, and that she didn't leave me she just needed time to do this and I wouldn't let her.. Its complete BS
orionboxing Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Well the funny thing is she is the one who keeps coming around. I don't contact her. Like I said last week she randomly showed up to my place twice, and called one night telling me she loved me and regretted everything. Then this week she hasn't said a word. It's like she dropped of the face of the earth again. I also told her I was going to try and move on and she said that I would never replace her, and that she didn't leave me she just needed time to do this and I wouldn't let her.. Its complete BS She's seeking attention and completely unstable. Sorry, but she is showing no commitment to you. In a "relationship" it's on or off. "she said that I would never replace her" She actually said that to you? This is person is what you call a Mercenary Emotional Child. She feels she is entitled...and a lot of girls are like this. I've been the victim of a few myself. Look, she is causing you grief. That's why you are here. You are only 23 - too young to putting all this emphasis on one girl. Not married to her? Split. Don't have any kids with her? Split. Sorry for being harsh...but man...you've got to make your life better and that's by shutting her out of your life. 2
purplereigncb Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 My ex always came back to me. I always took her back because she was very persistent. I truly loved her. Anyways move on she found someone else she'll crawl back to.
Author westjames111 Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 My ex always came back to me. I always took her back because she was very persistent. I truly loved her. Anyways move on she found someone else she'll crawl back to. Yeah everyone says she is going to come crawling back, but honestly as much as I hope her new relationship doesn't work out because I got left for it, I think it might be best if she doesn't crawl back. It would be satisfying though.
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