lolster Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Hello all, i am going out vent out some frustrations and confusion and hopefully you all can help me out !! I met this great girl, we met at school and from there on we started to talk each class. Furthermore, the more we talked the more we got comfortable with each other, we would laugh, and crack jokes and talk about plans for summer. I managed to get her phone number, but then i came across a real problem. Every time i texted her, ( only been few texts so far) it seems shes really different the way she texts. my ex gf, before we dated, would send emoticons, etc, but with this new girl i dont think there is any vibe. -- I know, dont compare your ex to new girls but i feel like shes not interested in a relationship.. its different when we are in person, we interact a lot more and laugh a bit more too. She called me this morning, sounded happy and we both laughed because i cracked in few jokes and had a fairly good conversation. Help!! i feel like shes playing mind games, or wants to be friends.... i dont get it...
Robman9911 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Ask yourself this, Would you rather her be a great texter but lousy in person? Not everyone can portray their personality via chatting/text. Just gives you a reason to see her in person and call her more often. Enjoy 1
mortensorchid Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Well just because this gal is not sending so many texts as the others doesn't mean she's not interested. Honestly I think too many people rely on text messaging, it's just a means to communicate a lot of nonsense rather than a "real message" or "real feeling", unless you count those idiots who break up with others via text or email. Text messaging should be used for simple things like "I'll meet you at 7" or something along those lines. If you are otherwise having a good time with her, don't worry about it.
Author lolster Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah i think calling is better, we talk and enjoy it more. But i honestly get confused... like at one point i think she likes me then the other i get completely confused. I want to ask her out, but i need to know shes into me before making my self look like an idiot. how do you tell if she wants to be friends ... i cannot tell with this girl
Lani Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah, some people just aren't into texting and that portrays in their messages. Ask her out casually, because if you keep waiting for a sign you might not get it, and then it'll be too late and you'll feel like an idiot. If she says no, then just go with 'ahh well, it was worth a try!' and carry on with how you've been acting. There's no need for things to get awkward if she says no to a date, just continue with your relationship as is, and be friends. Don't overthink it
Robman9911 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah, some people just aren't into texting and that portrays in their messages. Ask her out casually, because if you keep waiting for a sign you might not get it, and then it'll be too late and you'll feel like an idiot. If she says no, then just go with 'ahh well, it was worth a try!' and carry on with how you've been acting. There's no need for things to get awkward if she says no to a date, just continue with your relationship as is, and be friends. Don't overthink it Totally agreed.. Ask her.. I stayed home alone for two years post my divorce all because I was afraid of rejection. Then I thought who cares.. Just ask her better than not knowing, and then seeing her on a date with someone else.
Lani Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Totally agreed.. Ask her.. I stayed home alone for two years post my divorce all because I was afraid of rejection. Then I thought who cares.. Just ask her better than not knowing, and then seeing her on a date with someone else. Exactly. And it's not about being rejected, it's about how you handle it. I rejected one of my best guy friends once, and he brushed it off in the way I mentioned above. We continued on the way we were, and now we're such great friends and even joke about how he wanted to date me. At the end of the day, we can never have enough friends I don't think. And if all you get out of this situation is one more, then that's still a big bonus
Author lolster Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 im just afraid that if there is rejection, friendship might be awkward lol
Robman9911 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 im just afraid that if there is rejection, friendship might be awkward lol Being afraid wont help you in dating.. As a man its up to us to do the asking. Usually.. So just ask but find a way to make it seem if she says no it wont be awkward. 1
Lani Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 im just afraid that if there is rejection, friendship might be awkward lol It's only awkward if you let it be.
GravityMan Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Don't try so hard to "read" her, just ask her out, if she accepts have fun, enjoy each other's company and see where things go. If she rejects than let it go and don't let it linger and eat at you. Laugh it off if you can. You'll likely get better at reading women with time and experience. Some guys focus way too much on reading signals and so-called "IOIs" and wanting to feel 100% certain that the woman is interested prior to making a move. Guys who are highly skilled at reading women will likely have lower rejection rates, but generally speaking...unless the woman gives off clear vibes of disinterest, guys are better off just approaching casually and see where it goes. I can relate to Lani's anecdote about her male best friend. Several years ago I asked out a very attractive female friend of mine once, she turned me down (she had a BF)...sure I was disappointed but I got over it quickly and we simply continued on being friends like it was no big deal. We're still friends today and get along great. OP, learn how to handle rejection in a casual, mature way. It's best for guys to be exposed to this stuff and learn from it while they're in their teens or early twenties. You seem young so I think you'll be OK in the long run, even if it doesn't work out with this woman.
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