Inshambles Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Hey I'm just looking for any advice at all. Last week my boyfriend of two years and I initiated a break between us. The week before that was sort of terrible. He was so caught up with school and work. I didn't see him at all. He was being sort of distant which has never been a problem for us even when both of us are busy. He would take longer to answer my texts or wouldn't answer my calls. I have to admit it was making me upset because I felt like he was trying to avoid me. Now I really don't think someone else is in the picture because he honestly has no time for anything. It's just weird that he was being this way. After not seeing him for 4 days, one of my pets was going to be put to sleep. This devastated me. I reached out to him and asked him if I could see him & he pretty much told me he already had plans with his brother. This really hurt me because even when I was going through a rough time, he blew me off for something else. I was upset so I told him things like "I'm done with you" & "I can't believe you'd do this". This was all through text by the way. I guess he wanted me to cool off so he stopped answering me for the night. The next morning he text he & I told him not to text me. Later that day I called him to apologize, of course he didn't answer. As days went by, he talked to me less & less, & he wouldn't make an effort to see me. One day I asked if he wanted to work things out, & he told me he wanted to take a break because he feels as though our relationship died out. He pretty much didnt know what he wanted anymore. I begged and pleaded for him not to do this but eventually I let it go. Now it's been 8 days with no contact at all. I feel like in his mind, he's just trying to forget about me. Our relationship was great before any of this happened. We had plans to go to FL over the summer. This anxiety is killing me. Should I ask him what he really wants? Or just let it be? Things were left so unfinished. But we've never gone this long without talking before. I just want the answer because I don't want this "break" to be for no reason. If I need to move on, I don't wanna get my hopes up by waiting. I have no problem with having a little break as long as we can work things out & take a giant step forward. Any advice would be appreciated
TaraMaiden Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 ..... it's been 8 days with no contact at all. I feel like in his mind, he's just trying to forget about me. Our relationship was great before any of this happened. We had plans to go to FL over the summer. This anxiety is killing me. Should I ask him what he really wants? Forget Florida. I hate to tell you, but a break - is never just a 'break'. Not unless there's a definitive plan in place to give it a specific time period, when you'll re-connect, that you must remain exclusive/not date others... No dearest. This is a break-UP. Or just let it be? Things were left so unfinished. Only in your mind. In his mind, he's "off the hook" and freedom beckons.... He's just too much of a coward to come clean and end it officially, with you. But we've never gone this long without talking before. I just want the answer because I don't want this "break" to be for no reason. It isn't. he gave you a reason. it's in your post. One day I asked if he wanted to work things out, & he told me he wanted to take a break because he feels as though our relationship died out. That was his way of saying "it's over".... If I need to move on, I don't wanna get my hopes up by waiting. Then let us save you the trouble. Quit hoping OR waiting. The longer it is that you don't contact him, the easier it is for him to leave it all behind.... I have no problem with having a little break as long as we can work things out & take a giant step forward. There is no 'little break'. There most certainly will never be 'a giant step forward'. Only man ever did that was Neil Armstrong. And even that didn't really progress much further. I mean, we ain't stepped on that or anywhere else, since - have we? You have even less chance. Sorry to be harsh hun, but I think you'd better get your 'No Contact ' reading glasses on, and study the link in my signature. As much as you can. Over and over.... Because, this is over and over, too.... 1
flitzanu Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 pay attention to every word Tara says. the guy is ignoring and avoiding you because he doesnt' want to be with you.
KatZee Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah, he just pulled what every other stereotypical coward does. They pull the "we should take a break" card, and then they just drop off the radar. It's much easier and much less drama for the dumper if they kind of use the soft blow for a breakup. Unfortunately it's why tons of people get stuck in limbo and get strung along. At this point in time, consider it a complete break up. He's not reaching out, and that's because he has no desire to. Will he come back around? Will you guys work it out? No one can say for sure, but right now it's not looking good. NC. Start moving on. If you do this, it's a win/win for you. Because if he doesn't come back, you're already on the healing path. If he does come back, now you have a clearer mind and you can see things on a more objective level and you can decide if you even WANT to get back with him. Don't sit around waiting for him to come around, because you'll be waiting forever.
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