Jingle14 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 He still is with me - occasionally I can go half an hour but mostly he's in the back of my mind at least. I hate it and desperately want it to stop. Its been a torment for 21 months now, how much longer?! 3
singme2sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Well its only been 2 months for me, but I know how you feel. I often stop and wonder if he thinks about me even half as much as I think about him! Have you had any contact with your ex? 1
big bear Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Yes,it sucks. But at least the urge to reach out is kaput now. So, progress. 1
mcdo Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Yup every single day. In fact, every single 5 minutes (or even less). It's annoying, I wish it would stop too. 2
Author Jingle14 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Well its only been 2 months for me, but I know how you feel. I often stop and wonder if he thinks about me even half as much as I think about him! Have you had any contact with your ex? Not had any contact since I texted him at Halloween (no reply), in fact I posted another thread this morning about how I was trying to resist the urge to make contact (I haven't). The fact he lives in my neighbourhood and his parents live at the end of my street really doesn't help and I've not stretched my legs over to 'his' side of my bed since the last time he was in it.
Martor Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 You must let go and learn to live as YOURSELF again. You are strong, be your own person and move on with your life. Happiness will find you again.
New2Love4Now Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Been 5 weeks of NC and yes, she is still on my mind constantly. I don't even want to think about her but it's like my brain is just programmed to do it. I hope this doesn't become a problem... Get out of my head you b*tch! 2
Wabisabi Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Love New2Love4Now's signature. Anyway, yeah I think about my ex all the time and I'm sick of it. BUT can't control my mind to not think about him. My break up is fresh so it's understandable but it hurts every time I see couples together. I'm reminded so much of our good times and what we could've been. *sigh* I also wonder if he thinks about me at all... 1
Wabisabi Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Love New2Love4Now's signature. Anyway, yeah I think about my ex all the time and I'm sick of it. BUT can't control my mind to not think about him. My break up is fresh so it's understandable but it hurts every time I see couples together. I'm reminded so much of our good times and what we could've been. *sigh* I also wonder if he thinks about me at all...
Wabisabi Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Oops sorry about the double post! Dunno how to delete it.
wheream_i Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 To answer your question in a word, yes. It's very bittersweet. 1
na49 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Yes. I haven't gone a day without thinking of her since she dumped me 5 months ago. We go to the same college so reminders of her are all over the place.
coralie Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Ok I realize it's only 12 days NC, but seriously, I feel like every second of every day he's on my mind. It's not like I have all this free time either. I'm going through a lot of stuff unrelated to the BU and my life is really hectic right now, but somehow he's still always there. Every single thing reminds me of him. I wish someone could erase my memories. 1
thekarmacist Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 i dumped him 7 months ago, and i still think of him every day. it makes me sad.
Coping Vortex Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 i dumped him 7 months ago, and i still think of him every day. it makes me sad. You dumped him. Are you happier without him? If not you should be the one to reach out to him as the dumper. Sounds like you still want a relationship with him.
Coping Vortex Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 He still is with me - occasionally I can go half an hour but mostly he's in the back of my mind at least. I hate it and desperately want it to stop. Its been a torment for 21 months now, how much longer?! For me it's been 4 months. But like you I'm sure I will pining away for her for years as well.
RogerWallace111 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Fortunately, it rarely even bothers me, but I'm six months out and think about her at least once or twice a day. And now the last couple days, since receiving a facebook "friend" request from her, it's been more like a few times an hour. A rate which is more like the first couple months. Lame little setback.
RogerWallace111 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 But yeah, I think for myself and many others, it will take having someone new you're fully into before thoughts of them are a truly rare occurrence. Otherwise they're your brain's go-to anytime anything concerning love, loneliness, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc crosses your mind.
benB Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 He still is with me - occasionally I can go half an hour but mostly he's in the back of my mind at least. I hate it and desperately want it to stop. Its been a torment for 21 months now, how much longer?! Every single day, its been over a year since we have seen or spoken to eachother. I thought I would be over her by now..
Author Jingle14 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Love New2Love4Now's signature. Anyway, yeah I think about my ex all the time and I'm sick of it. BUT can't control my mind to not think about him. My break up is fresh so it's understandable but it hurts every time I see couples together. I'm reminded so much of our good times and what we could've been. *sigh* I also wonder if he thinks about me at all... Couldn't agree more, seeing happy couples is stomach churning - mind you, they might look happy but so did we, walking holding hands on a beach and gazing into each other's eyes while drinking Champagne just 2 months before he dumped me. And yes, I wonder if he ever thinks of me - I probably don't even want to know the answer to that though. But he did think of me, every day from the day he first met me - when I later found out he'd thought I was 'a vision' - and fantasised about me till the day, 2 and a half years later, that we got together and I had no idea, he is a master at keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself, no wonder he's good at poker. He would turn up at my office under the pretext of getting printing done at the firm in my building, would occasionally text or email me friendly, platonic messages ('anything to maintain contact') and would find any excuse (so he later told me) to sit next to me at functions. I had not the faintest clue how he felt. And that's why the hour long hug last year threw me as his actions didn't match his words. He told me he kept his feelings for me 'supressed' so he could keep his marriage going for the sake of his daughter until his ex ended it and then, selfishly, he came after me. He also supressed his feelings during our first, brief, split but then 'let go of logic' and allowed his 'strong feelings' to resurface. Any wonder I find it so hard to let it go, when I know what could have been? 2
Author Jingle14 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Every single day, its been over a year since we have seen or spoken to eachother. I thought I would be over her by now.. I'm so sorry for you but, I must admit, I am relieved it's not just me going through it after a long period of time. It is torture though, and I absolutely feel for you. I'm not attracted to anyone else - although I've tried - I just don't have the capacity.
Debbie2508 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Our bu's and our ex's sound so similar. I completely identify with their words not matching their actions and the fact they they were so good at suppressing their feelings. It makes it so hard to move on, not being certain if its what they truly want. I know that the fact they left us should speak for itself..... but it doesn't stop you wondering, does it?! 2
Author Jingle14 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Our bu's and our ex's sound so similar. I completely identify with their words not matching their actions and the fact they they were so good at suppressing their feelings. It makes it so hard to move on, not being certain if its what they truly want. I know that the fact they left us should speak for itself..... but it doesn't stop you wondering, does it?! Yes, very confusing. When I've chosen to break up with people in the past, I've been clear and direct - no hugs, kisses, bed sharing - once done, it's done. He wasn't like that and the fact he'd admitted to twice supressing his feelings, plus the hug and how he kissed me (the same as when we got together at first, with passion) after splitting up (before the split, he was a little mechanical when he kissed me), all comfortable and natural. When I told my friends about this hour long hug, they were speechless and said it just doesn't happen. He's told me he has no desire for me, I should 'let him go' and his feelings are dead - all of this should be perfectly clear enough - and certainly he's never instigated any contact with me in a year and a half - again, all clear signals. He even said he 'hopes it works out' when I told him I'd gone on a date with someone shortly after the split. What more do I need to be convinced! But that hug did not feel like it came from someone whose feelings were dead, and I know him exceptionally well. But the fact remains he isn't with me. Have you had similar experiences?
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