singme2sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Ok, I'm not trying to stereotype but it just seems like women mourn a relationship longer. When a breakup occurs, regardless of who is the dumper/dumper...do men get over it sooner than women do? What about when you both still have feelings?
OwlSoul Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I think men move on as fast as women do. Just depends on how much dumpee loves really.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 No, not at all. In fact, if you ask most men, they'd say that women move on quicker. Honestly, neither is true. The dumper moves on quicker regardless of gender. As far as dumpees, I don't think there's a gender link at all. 2
KatZee Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 The one who cares least holds all the power. If the dumper dumps b/c he/she no longer cares, they get over it DAMN fast. I broke up with a past boyfriend and two weeks later I was in a brand new relationship which wasn't a rebound to me at all. I had been emotionally done with that bf at the time and so I had processed it, and moved on and I just wanted to be out of that relationship. Depends on the circumstances, why the breakup occurred... etc etc. Not really a gender thing. 2
Author singme2sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Well what if the dumper cares about you, but for personal reasons needs to be alone for awhile? Will they still love you and think about you if you did nothing wrong to end the relationship?
KS11 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 The one who cares least holds all the power. If the dumper dumps b/c he/she no longer cares, they get over it DAMN fast. I broke up with a past boyfriend and two weeks later I was in a brand new relationship which wasn't a rebound to me at all. I had been emotionally done with that bf at the time and so I had processed it, and moved on and I just wanted to be out of that relationship. Depends on the circumstances, why the breakup occurred... etc etc. Not really a gender thing. 100% agree! I always think of this scene from Before Sunrise and theres this quote: You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It's when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they're thinking of you. You know, you'd like to think you're both in all this pain but they're just like "Hey, I'm glad you're gone". Its so true. And it sucks! 1
Author singme2sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 100% agree! I always think of this scene from Before Sunrise and theres this quote: You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It's when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they're thinking of you. You know, you'd like to think you're both in all this pain but they're just like "Hey, I'm glad you're gone". Its so true. And it sucks! I don't think that's always true. In my relationship prior to this one, I was the dumper and even though I broke things off because I didn't love him...I still thought about him after. In fact, its been over two years now and I still think about him. Not every day but I wonder if he hates me etc. There was even a time before I met my current ex, when I wondered if I shouldn't have let the other guy go. It all comes down to Love. If you loved them, they are not easily forgotten.
big bear Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 You cannot generalize. And do not go by this forum. Irrespective of the gender (of the crying heart), the numbers only indicate people who are net savvy, are deeply in pain or just desperate for advice. No 5 fingers are equal, no man/woman is same. 1
USMCHokie Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 You cannot generalize. Indeed. Men will claim that women move on faster, and women will claim men move of faster. At the end of the day, who cares...? 1
OwlSoul Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Well what if the dumper cares about you, but for personal reasons needs to be alone for awhile? Will they still love you and think about you if you did nothing wrong to end the relationship? I do not think someone would break-up just brecause of the personal reasons. Most of the people here do nothing wrong, most of them were showing all the love and passion, never argued and etc. They will love you or not depends only on how do you behave. Something should of disbalance everything between you two. Maybe the dumper got new job (rised his attractivity) or something else made you feel unsecure. They usually return back if the person they left was not begging and shows that he/she has moved on (got back the initial attractivity). 2
Author singme2sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Indeed. Men will claim that women move on faster, and women will claim men move of faster. At the end of the day, who cares...? I care!! (Or I wouldn't be asking lol)
Rikatoari Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I'd say the person that was the least happy in the relationship gets over the break-up faster. For example, I broke up with my gf 2 months ago and the other day I chatted with her and it seems that she's completely moved on while I'm still healing from the entire process... So I wouldn't say that the gender has such a big influence on who gets over the break-up faster, it has to do with who lost the most.
tbf Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 As a generality, the person (gender irrelevant) getting dumped takes much longer to move on. The only commonality as it relates to gender, is that men are more likely to try to assauge heartbreak and ego pain by sleeping around. This isn't any surprise considering the societal double standards of men should be studs and women, virgins.
na49 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Girls have their girl friends who they can cry to after being broken up with. Guys have guy friends who don't really want to coddle them while they sob their eyes out because they just got dumped. I'd say women move on faster, but gender has nothing to do with it. If you got your heart broken, you got your heart broken and it will take time to heal. Also, if you had a major impact in his life, he won't forget you. That doesn't mean he's laying in bed waiting for you to call him while he's bawling his eyes out and listening to breakup music. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Girls have their girl friends who they can cry to after being broken up with. Guys have guy friends who don't really want to coddle them while they sob their eyes out because they just got dumped. I'd say women move on faster, but gender has nothing to do with it. If you got your heart broken, you got your heart broken and it will take time to heal. Also, if you had a major impact in his life, he won't forget you. That doesn't mean he's laying in bed waiting for you to call him while he's bawling his eyes out and listening to breakup music. You bring up a good point. Women typically have a better support network to vent to than guys do. Most men aren't comfortable a) sharing those type of emotions freely or b) dealing with others venting emotions like love. 1
Sugarkane Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Girls have their girl friends who they can cry to after being broken up with. Guys have guy friends who don't really want to coddle them while they sob their eyes out because they just got dumped. I'd say women move on faster, but gender has nothing to do with it. If you got your heart broken, you got your heart broken and it will take time to heal. Also, if you had a major impact in his life, he won't forget you. That doesn't mean he's laying in bed waiting for you to call him while he's bawling his eyes out and listening to breakup music. I disagree I'm a girl and no one coddled me at all. My mother always said "just get over it". And I lost friends thanks to the breakup. When I've been dumped, I've always been processing it but the ex would always be with someone else already. I find most guys can't be single for very long. They think they always have to be in a relationship for some reason.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I disagree I'm a girl and no one coddled me at all. My mother always said "just get over it". And I lost friends thanks to the breakup. When I've been dumped, I've always been processing it but the ex would always be with someone else already. I find most guys can't be single for very long. They think they always have to be in a relationship for some reason. You know totally different guys than I do, which further proves that gender is irrelevant.
Author singme2sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Well I think even when it's the dumper, if at some point they honestly felt you were The One...then you don't just vanish from their mind or heart.
Sugarkane Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 You know totally different guys than I do, which further proves that gender is irrelevant. Then it should Also be irrelevant that girls always have a shoulder to cry on. That was not true at all in my case. My ex got all the friends despite being an A grade liar and cheater. I was so depressed I went to a therapist because no one wants to gear about about broken hearts.
Author singme2sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I find most guys can't be single for very long. They think they always have to be in a relationship for some reason. Well my now ex broke up because he needed to be alone and sort himself out. I know him pretty well and I very much doubt he's moving onto someone new. (And this wasn't just a "lame breakup excuse" that some guys say, because I was awesome to him!) I'm sorry that your ex treated you badly, and that your mom wasn't more sensitive to your hurt.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Then it should Also be irrelevant that girls always have a shoulder to cry on. That was not true at all in my case. My ex got all the friends despite being an A grade liar and cheater. I was so depressed I went to a therapist because no one wants to gear about about broken hearts. I didn't say it was true in every case. Don't put words into my mouth please.
Sugarkane Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I didn't say it was true in every case. Don't put words into my mouth please. Wasn't trying too. I just hate when someone always states women have it better in here. It is nit always the case.
lovnlost Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Ok, I'm not trying to stereotype but it just seems like women mourn a relationship longer. When a breakup occurs, regardless of who is the dumper/dumper...do men get over it sooner than women do? What about when you both still have feelings? Depends on maturity and ability to hear yourself....or be alone. However you want to word it. In my case I have to say your are wrong. But, not knowing my ex's heart and mind...who the hell knows what is going through her mind while rebounding. She has chosen the path of avoidance and revenge, I think....and she apparently cannot stand being alone. I am sure I am in her head somewhere and that she still has feelings for me. At some point, I hope she stops being resentful of me. Stupid time will tell sayings.... 1
Coping Vortex Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Ok, I'm not trying to stereotype but it just seems like women mourn a relationship longer. When a breakup occurs, regardless of who is the dumper/dumper...do men get over it sooner than women do? What about when you both still have feelings? Women get over it faster. No question.
McDonald Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I feel like women will always have bottles on their shelf that they can open after a break up. They keep their shelf stacked... Even if it's unitentially. A guy however... Unless he is cheating.. Or emotionally cheating... Will Usualy have to restock his shelf once the breakup happens.
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