fortyninethousand322 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I have been accused of being "too negative" and "enabling of bad attitudes". So, I decided to write a quick couple of tips for some "hard luck" guys. 1. If you are under 21 don't worry. Girls really don't care if you're a virgin or haven't kissed a girl when you're that young anyway. And any woman who would is not worth your time money or effort. Relax, you'll be fine. 2. If you are still in college, focus 100% on your studies. Seriously, avoid women. Don't talk to them, don't engage them in any kind of conversation aside from maybe getting notes from them or having them as colleagues or something. Get good grades, and try to hedge your bets by double majoring and getting a degree in IT and pre-med or engineering or something very useful like that. That way you'll have a really good job by the time you're 25 or so. Yeah, a lot of women won't like it that you're inexperienced but some might find it endearing that you spend your early twenties curing cancer or inventing the next google. And if you can't find a woman like that, you can always a) marry a gold digger b) buy a foreign wife or c) pay for a dating coach. There are always more options when you have money. 3. Take up a hobby. But don't do it just to get women. You'll never stick with a hobby that you're doing just to get women, you have to get a hobby for you. Weight lifting, sports, collect playmobil, collect baseball cards, start an antique toy collection, learn to play the saxophone, learn how to cook, etc. Do something. 4. It's ok to feel angry and bitter. And it's ok to rant on here sometimes. It's better to get it off your chest than to keep it in. And, no one in real life wants to hear about your problems, so it's better to vent online anonymously. I hope that's inspiring and uplifting enough... 2
ThaWholigan Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Agree - except I would add that if you've been ranting online about the same sh*t for more than a year, perhaps you need to start listening and change something . Oh yeah: 5. Stop blaming women for "being shallow" or whatever it is you think the problem is. Leave blame out of it. Blame will keep you from progressing. Stop blaming God, or the universe, or being short or whatever. 5
clia Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 2. If you are still in college, focus 100% on your studies. Seriously, avoid women. Don't talk to them, don't engage them in any kind of conversation aside from maybe getting notes from them or having them as colleagues or something. Get good grades, and try to hedge your bets by double majoring and getting a degree in IT and pre-med or engineering or something very useful like that. That way you'll have a really good job by the time you're 25 or so. Yeah, a lot of women won't like it that you're inexperienced but some might find it endearing that you spend your early twenties curing cancer or inventing the next google. And if you can't find a woman like that, you can always a) marry a gold digger b) buy a foreign wife or c) pay for a dating coach. There are always more options when you have money. While I 100% agree that you should pursue a STEM major and that studies should be top priority, I think it is terrible advice to avoid women in college. College is the best time to meet women. You will never again be in an environment around thousands of girls every single day who are (mostly) open to dating and relationships. Everything changes when you get into the working world. Let's face it -- the vast majority of you aren't going to be curing cancer or founding the next Google. There is no reason to avoid women in college. Plus, learning how to multi-task will do you well once you start working.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Agree - except I would add that if you've been ranting online about the same sh*t for more than a year, perhaps you need to start listening and change something . Oh yeah: 5. Stop blaming women for "being shallow" or whatever it is you think the problem is. Leave blame out of it. Blame will keep you from progressing. Stop blaming God, or the universe, or being short or whatever. Indeed. I think everyone is shallow to one extent or another. And it's no less shallow to judge on personality traits than it is to judge solely on looks. I'm not going to lie though, I think sometimes people really do have bad luck. 1
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 While I 100% agree that you should pursue a STEM major and that studies should be top priority, I think it is terrible advice to avoid women in college. College is the best time to meet women. You will never again be in an environment around thousands of girls every single day who are (mostly) open to dating and relationships. Everything changes when you get into the working world. Let's face it -- the vast majority of you aren't going to be curing cancer or founding the next Google. There is no reason to avoid women in college. Plus, learning how to multi-task will do you well once you start working. I went to college (did a non-STEM major because I'm horrible at math, science, and technology) and whenever I tried to talk to women or tried to date one it took focus off my studies and made my grades suffer. Why? Because learning how to interact and engage with women successfully took a lot of time and effort that I was otherwise spending on my classwork. I'm sure my GPA suffered because of it. And I'm paying the price now. Trust me, if you can't learn how to deal with women successfully in a natural kind of way (like you learned how to make friends) focusing on engaging with women is a really bad idea. Just make money. Obviously not everyone will cure cancer and whatnot, but focusing on getting good grades and a good career will pay dividends down the road. 1
Bengal Tiger Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I have been accused of being "too negative" and "enabling of bad attitudes". So, I decided to write a quick couple of tips for some "hard luck" guys. 1. If you are under 21 don't worry. Girls really don't care if you're a virgin or haven't kissed a girl when you're that young anyway. And any woman who would is not worth your time money or effort. Relax, you'll be fine. 2. If you are still in college, focus 100% on your studies. Seriously, avoid women. Don't talk to them, don't engage them in any kind of conversation aside from maybe getting notes from them or having them as colleagues or something. Get good grades, and try to hedge your bets by double majoring and getting a degree in IT and pre-med or engineering or something very useful like that. That way you'll have a really good job by the time you're 25 or so. Yeah, a lot of women won't like it that you're inexperienced but some might find it endearing that you spend your early twenties curing cancer or inventing the next google. And if you can't find a woman like that, you can always a) marry a gold digger b) buy a foreign wife or c) pay for a dating coach. There are always more options when you have money. 3. Take up a hobby. But don't do it just to get women. You'll never stick with a hobby that you're doing just to get women, you have to get a hobby for you. Weight lifting, sports, collect playmobil, collect baseball cards, start an antique toy collection, learn to play the saxophone, learn how to cook, etc. Do something. 4. It's ok to feel angry and bitter. And it's ok to rant on here sometimes. It's better to get it off your chest than to keep it in. And, no one in real life wants to hear about your problems, so it's better to vent online anonymously. I hope that's inspiring and uplifting enough... Guys in school, this is mission critical advice. I wish I had done this so ****ing bad you don't even realize. Women are more dangerous than you think. When you're relatively young, inexperienced, insecure, and horny, you can make idiotic decisions that will ruin your life and leave you in eternal regret. Any blood in your brain can head south and turn you completely useless to think for yourself. There are women who prey on these sorts of guys. It's a power trip for them. They have a way of controlling you. Don't do it. Build yourself first. Grow that strong confident backbone in all areas of your life, career, friends, health, etc. first. In case you meet an abusive controlling woman, you need to be ready to leave and know that you still have a life to live and its not all about her. Its not worth throwing your whole life away to win approval from some sick twisted woman with a hot ass. 2 hookers at the same time is much cheaper. Porn is free. 1
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Forgot to mention, since you're young free and single you can take as many internships or jobs as you want/need to gain experience and get some professional contacts. Those things pay off big time down the road. You're young, you can work 60-70 hours a week without issue. When you're 40 the spirit might be willing but the body won't be. 1
Revolver Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I would say its very hard not to be bitter, especially when you see other men being successful and your not. I lost my virginity at 19 my second year of college(2 years ago) and but I still remember how it felt to be "out of the loop" so to speak. That was the worst part, the feeling of being left out. Sex is like literally everywhere in our society...It's in our movies,TV, music, etc. You really can't get away from it
Els Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I went to college (did a non-STEM major because I'm horrible at math, science, and technology) and whenever I tried to talk to women or tried to date one it took focus off my studies and made my grades suffer. Why? Because learning how to interact and engage with women successfully took a lot of time and effort that I was otherwise spending on my classwork. I'm sure my GPA suffered because of it. And I'm paying the price now. Trust me, if you can't learn how to deal with women successfully in a natural kind of way (like you learned how to make friends) focusing on engaging with women is a really bad idea. Just make money. Obviously not everyone will cure cancer and whatnot, but focusing on getting good grades and a good career will pay dividends down the road. In all stages of life you'll have to learn balance, unfortunately. Nobody is talking about engaging with women to the point that your GPA suffers. In fact, learning balance in itself is probably a big part of life, so it might be a good idea to get a feel for it in college. When most people graduate college they start to realize that connections with people can sometimes matter more than their GPA. This unfortunately holds true for a lot of STEM fields as well (not to mention non-STEM ones). Sad, IMO, but true.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 In all stages of life you'll have to learn balance, unfortunately. Nobody is talking about engaging with women to the point that your GPA suffers. In fact, learning balance in itself is probably a big part of life, so it might be a good idea to get a feel for it in college. When most people graduate college they start to realize that connections with people can sometimes matter more than their GPA. This unfortunately holds true for a lot of STEM fields as well (not to mention non-STEM ones). Sad, IMO, but true. Well right, but I think for some people learning that balance is either really really hard (or impossible) or it takes some time. A lot of people for example can eat junk food in moderation and be fine, other people have a tendency to binge if they indulge even just a little, so for them it's better to just stay away entirely. The point of telling people to focus on grades is that it's better to have the grades and a good job and no dating success than have worse grades a not so good job and still no dating success. One day, they'll either learn the balance or they'll be in a position where they can easily manage swings in priorities. Take the bird in the hand, it's worth two in the bush...
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I would say its very hard not to be bitter, especially when you see other men being successful and your not. I lost my virginity at 19 my second year of college(2 years ago) and but I still remember how it felt to be "out of the loop" so to speak. That was the worst part, the feeling of being left out. Sex is like literally everywhere in our society...It's in our movies,TV, music, etc. You really can't get away from it Yes, I totally understand that for many people (I'm one of them) it's impossible to tune it out. No matter how hard you try to just keep your nose to the grindstone you just get that longing for companionship. But, if you can tune it out. You really should. It would pay huge dividends.
USMCHokie Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 From some slight reading I've done on the topic, if you guys make it to 30 with a solid career, stay in shape, and don't have kids or a wife, life gets A LOT better...the 30's are the prime time for guys who have their sh*t together... But I merely report what I've heard...
Pompeii Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I think all of your advice is quite sound with the exception of number 2 and some of number 4. I have quite a few female friends and even though I've never done anything with them, I appreciate their presence in my life. There's something refreshing about being surrounded with true feminine energy after experiencing nothing but masculinity all day. I wouldn't cut women out of my life completely and given the ratio in my college, you'd have to do some pretty hard avoidance to not have women in your life at all. Which I feel is unnecessary. Even though I've seen my friends get girls while I haven't, I have never been bitter. It just isn't in my nature. It's not something I'd consume myself with because bitterness is counterproductive. I will admit that I have gotten jealous a time or two but that's about it. I'm happy for my friends. 1
TouchedByViolet Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I agree with everything but number 2. I made the mistake of focusing on studies, my hobbies and friends during college and waiting for a women to be into me. The result was minimal success with the ladies, and only a small amount of experience. College is the prime opportunity to meet, talk, and date women. You are freaking surrounded by them. I wish I would have started sooner focusing on women. To all the guys in college go for the ladies AND complete your studies... what a novel idea.
USMCHokie Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I agree with everything but number 2. I made the mistake of focusing on studies, my hobbies and friends during college and waiting for a women to be into me. The result was minimal success with the ladies, and only a small amount of experience. College is the prime opportunity to meet, talk, and date women. You are freaking surrounded by them. I wish I would have started sooner focusing on women. To all the guys in college go for the ladies AND complete your studies... what a novel idea. I agree with this. If I could relive one part of my life, I'd do college again in a heartbeat. You will never experience a social gold mine as you do on a college campus.
SJC2008 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 From some slight reading I've done on the topic, if you guys make it to 30 with a solid career, stay in shape, and don't have kids or a wife, life gets A LOT better...the 30's are the prime time for guys who have their sh*t together... But I merely report what I've heard... I hope so. I'll be done with school this summer and by the time I get a job and settle into my own place I'll be close to 32 if not 32 already. Does it say how far into their 30's? lol.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 bull****... Why do you disagree? If I said that I would never date a girl unless she had a college degree and that it didn't matter how smart she was without the piece of paper, or if I refused to date a girl because she didn't like football, how is that not shallow? Or, if I refused to date a girl because I felt she was dumb as a post, how is that not shallow? It's making judgments off of superficial qualities.
USMCHokie Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 bull****... You could consider this evidence of the devastating effects of calling someone out on being "shallow," and it helps one understand why it's such a common retaliatory tactic. If you lack a trait that someone else wants in a partner, whether it be looks, intelligence, ambition, humor, et. al., then calling them shallow essentially challenges that other person's character and shifts the "blame" onto them. It's no longer your fault that you aren't "good enough"; it's their fault that they are shallow. 1
USMCHokie Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Why do you disagree? If I said that I would never date a girl unless she had a college degree and that it didn't matter how smart she was without the piece of paper, or if I refused to date a girl because she didn't like football, how is that not shallow? Or, if I refused to date a girl because I felt she was dumb as a post, how is that not shallow? It's making judgments off of superficial qualities. I don't think it's necessarily just "superficial" qualities (what does that even mean, anyway...?), but one quality without consideration for other qualities or consideration of the whole. 1
Bengal Tiger Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I agree with everything but number 2. I made the mistake of focusing on studies, my hobbies and friends during college and waiting for a women to be into me. The result was minimal success with the ladies, and only a small amount of experience. College is the prime opportunity to meet, talk, and date women. You are freaking surrounded by them. I wish I would have started sooner focusing on women. To all the guys in college go for the ladies AND complete your studies... what a novel idea. I get what you're saying. I suppose my point is that many guys who are new at dating have a tendency to be completly whipped by their first or second girlfriends. If she's a user and hell bent on bringing him down for selfish reasons, it can be a serious problem down the road. I've learned to grow some backbone and won't make the same mistakes again. But damn, it was a very painful lesson to learn the hard way.
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