There is a light in the tunnel...i hope ot is not a train

[Addictive]

Hey guys,

 

Now that i got your attention i would like to share my story with you.i will try to keep it short.

 

I ended up with the girl i was chasing.absolutely beautiful and gorgeous girl...on the outside.i was on cloud nine at the beginnig of the relationship.during later stages i started to experience things which were against my understanding but i thought maybe i just have to compromise.She started fighting with my flatmates,started checking my phone messages,my facebook,my skype etc.i stopped seeing some friends i used to hang out with because she did not like them(especially girls) .i talked to her and told her this should stop and she has nothing to worry about.the last six months before the break up i got promoted in my job and during the probation period i was under a lot of stress so maybe i did no pay enough attention to her as i usually did.once i was in the toilet and she entered and grabbed my phone from my hands and asked what was i watching.i had a porn actress twitter on which i do not find to be a major issue so i got pissed off for invading my privacy and called her a psycho.she slapped my face which anger i have not seen before.it was almost hatred like.anyway we made up that day.after two weeks i came back from work with a flower.she was just going to work so i had 5 min with her.when she opened the door i saw the look in her eyes.i have seen this look in my first girlfriend when we broke up so i knew very well was about to happen.i gave her the flower without saying a word and stood at her house until she got ready for work without saying a word.i asked what is wrong while waiting for her taxi to come and she said it was not the time to talk.i called her on the phone to she said she is not happy.after two days of no contact wrote her on skype if she would like to talk.she said she is tired of talking and do not want to be with me anymore.i responded that i hope she will be happy and find what she is looking for and deleted her from skype.it has been month since then.I went no contact since the moment i deleted her from skype.i did not want to embarss myself.the thing is i think she should have broken up with me in person just out of respecet.it has been a month and she has not contacted me as well. it is hard for me to move on as i still think she is gorgeus and i acted like an ******* for a while.should i call her?

If i have to write the whole story it would be very long so i hope these facts

are enough for you to give me some sort of advice and if you think her actions are normal from a girl's point of view.thank you

Edited March 13, 2013 by Addictive

[OwlSoul]

May I ask whether you felt like you're losing interest in her at some point?

 

should i call her?

The point of NC is to gain self-control over yourself. Which means to be over the person and be much much much less interested in getting back. If you still feel like you cannot control your emotions and she'll feel it, maybe, it is better to wait for a better moment. If vice versa, then, why the hell not? Some friend of mine said 'If you're in doubts whether to call or not to call, do not call'.

[Addictive]

Thank you for your response.first of all let me say that after i read what i wrote it looks as if a 15 year old wrote it and it is just random stuff:)it is just that there is so much to explain and i know you guys read stuff like that all the time an it gets boring.the answer to your question is yes.i started losing interest in her after all the things i mentioned above occured.i am 27 now amd the relationship lasted for two and a half years.every time i asked mysel the question "do i want to spend the rest of my life with her?" the answer was "no".

I guess i really liked the way she looks so i was hoping things will change and we won't have to fight every day.it is a paradox of a kind because now that i am not with her i want her back.i did not know about the no contact rule before i came to this site.it came natural to me to protect my dignity and not embarass myself

[OwlSoul]

Hm, most of the people here are the one who were dumped while maintaining the same strong feelings. Your case is different, since she seems to leave you while she was still feeling strong about you. In this case returning back should be easier for you. Just watch the person you know, your intuition will tell you whether everything is going right or wrong (in this case you'll feel worried).

[KatZee]

She sounds like a complete controlling psycho. Who cares if she's beautiful? You let her dictate who you're allowed to talk to and hang out with, she invades your privacy because she's so insecure and paranoid, and even feels it's OK to bust into the bathroom while you're using it so she can rip your phone out of your hands?

 

NO this is not normal behavior. She needs help.

[Damaged23]

Hey guys,

 

Now that i got your attention i would like to share my story with you.i will try to keep it short.

 

I ended up with the girl i was chasing.absolutely beautiful and gorgeous girl...on the outside.i was on cloud nine at the beginnig of the relationship.during later stages i started to experience things which were against my understanding but i thought maybe i just have to compromise.She started fighting with my flatmates,started checking my phone messages,my facebook,my skype etc.i stopped seeing some friends i used to hang out with because she did not like them(especially girls) .i talked to her and told her this should stop and she has nothing to worry about.the last six months before the break up i got promoted in my job and during the probation period i was under a lot of stress so maybe i did no pay enough attention to her as i usually did.once i was in the toilet and she entered and grabbed my phone from my hands and asked what was i watching.i had a porn actress twitter on which i do not find to be a major issue so i got pissed off for invading my privacy and called her a psycho.she slapped my face which anger i have not seen before.it was almost hatred like.anyway we made up that day.after two weeks i came back from work with a flower.she was just going to work so i had 5 min with her.when she opened the door i saw the look in her eyes.i have seen this look in my first girlfriend when we broke up so i knew very well was about to happen.i gave her the flower without saying a word and stood at her house until she got ready for work without saying a word.i asked what is wrong while waiting for her taxi to come and she said it was not the time to talk.i called her on the phone to she said she is not happy.after two days of no contact wrote her on skype if she would like to talk.she said she is tired of talking and do not want to be with me anymore.i responded that i hope she will be happy and find what she is looking for and deleted her from skype.it has been month since then.I went no contact since the moment i deleted her from skype.i did not want to embarss myself.the thing is i think she should have broken up with me in person just out of respecet.it has been a month and she has not contacted me as well. it is hard for me to move on as i still think she is gorgeus and i acted like an ******* for a while.should i call her?

If i have to write the whole story it would be very long so i hope these facts

are enough for you to give me some sort of advice and if you think her actions are normal from a girl's point of view.thank you

 

 

Were you dating me? Lol. I regret to say that's exactly how I was with my now ex. I would check his phone, his FB, and one time I even caught him masturbating, so I went nuts!!! It's so sad to say I became the biggest psycho on this planet. He had jealousy and insecurities as well, but they didn't compare to mine. Now, it is done, and even though I know it's for the best, cause he was never going to be able to give me what I needed, I can't help but miss him, and even though the relationship was VERY unhealthy, I wish I had him, still

[ThatJustHappened]

So you only want to be with her because she's pretty?