316 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 This post has nothing to do with being heartbroken... I do not wish to go back to being in a relationship with my ex because I've realized I didn't love her as much as I thought I did. I'm doing a lot better 3 months post-BU but I'm still in the process of recovering. This post is about coping with the loneliness... I don't really miss HER, I just miss having someone I could always talk to. I miss having someone I could cuddle with at night. I miss having someone I can be sexually intimate with. I miss having someone I can hang around with whenever I wanted and just be myself. I miss having someone to spoil and take out to dinner and stuff all the time. I just miss the perks of having a girlfriend. I wish I had a close group of friends I could go out with and have fun with on weekends and stuff to help me enjoy the "single life" but honestly I don't. Most of my time outside of school is spent on my computer at home. I'd love to get out more and meet more new people but my uni is an hour away and I'm only on campus 2 days out of the week. Any advice on how to get out of this lonely slump I've been having recently? Is it normal to be having these feelings 3 months after a break up? By the way this was my first relationship/breakup so I'm still learning the ropes in terms of these post-breakup shenanigans. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 1
teach623 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I'm dealing with the loneliness myself right now and yes it is quite normal to feel the way you do. If you're over her and ready to move on...you need to get out there and meet people. Put yourself out there. No one can see you if you're just on the computer every night. And it's not weird to go out alone either, I do it often. But what's your situation? What's available to do in the town you're in?
Author 316 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I'm dealing with the loneliness myself right now and yes it is quite normal to feel the way you do. If you're over her and ready to move on...you need to get out there and meet people. Put yourself out there. No one can see you if you're just on the computer every night. And it's not weird to go out alone either, I do it often. But what's your situation? What's available to do in the town you're in? Trust me I'm more than ready to put myself out there but I'm just not quite sure how to given my circumstances. The issue is that while I was in a relationship with my ex I lived on campus so I was constantly surrounded by college kids my age, but after the breakup I was forced to move back at home due to monetary issues so now I commute to my uni ever Monday and Wednesday. This would be okay if I had friends here as well but they're all out of state living their own college lives... And I live in a fairly small suburban town with hardly any people my age. There's literally nothing to do here lol.
Wabisabi Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I feel lonely too but what helps is to get out of the house. I find my mood's better and I feel less lonely when I'm outside. Doesn't matter where you go, just get out there. Sometimes I just sit in a cafe or go to the bookstore and I feel better already. It doesn't last, that feeling of loneliness will come back, at least not yet for me since I just broke up few days ago but it helps me be alright through day to day.
lifeolife Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 (edited) I know exactly how you feel. It's good that you recognise that it's the intamacy and companionship you miss and not 'her'. I think in terms of healing you are on your way just fine. I've had a few relationships and the loneliness will pass. You have to make an effort in some way to get out a bit more, much like myself I joined a team sport and I always go to the gym, the high after a circuit class is good, lots of good endorphins pump and it's healthy interaction. If you don't already I'd consider some exercise? it helps me a lot. You have to endure the aching of nobody to cuddle unfortunately, but don't worry, as a new better person will come into your life when the time is right, take some comfort in knowing its temporary and that this absence of intamacy with another is happening for a reason and making you a stronger person in the process.... Xx Edited March 13, 2013 by lifeolife
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