FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 My family owns several apartments, recently we've rented one to a girl coming to study from another state. As it happens she has picked the same career as I did (we're both starting), and for what I've been told we have some common interests, like she used to practice the same martial art at which I'm a black belt. Now, she came here a month ago, knowing nobody and with no friends. Classes started this week, and tomorrow I have the perfect excuse to meet her for the first time. I am supposed to deliver some important rent papers to her. I've been told she's attractive, and I'd like to know what can I do to get to know her better. Perhaps, since she doesn't know anybody here I could offer to introduce her to some people and show her around town. What do you people think? I welcome all advice
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 My family owns several apartments, recently we've rented one to a girl coming to study from another state. As it happens she has picked the same career as I did (we're both starting), and for what I've been told we have some common interests, like she used to practice the same martial art at which I'm a black belt. Now, she came here a month ago, knowing nobody and with no friends. Classes started this week, and tomorrow I have the perfect excuse to meet her for the first time. I am supposed to deliver some important rent papers to her. I've been told she's attractive, and I'd like to know what can I do to get to know her better. Perhaps, since she doesn't know anybody here I could offer to introduce her to some people and show her around town. What do you people think? I welcome all advice Wow. So you're nervous about a chick that you haven't even met yet. That's a new one....even on this forum.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Wow. So you're nervous about a chick that you haven't even met yet. That's a new one....even on this forum. I'm not nervous, just inexperienced. So I'd like to know how to approach her, that's all.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Chat with her, be friendly and helpful, and see where things go when you first meet. Try to be natural rather than planning conversation topics ahead of time. That can seem artificial and forced. Just let the conversation flow and be yourself. Good luck!
Lani Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 You've got an advantage by being a black belt. Just be casual and friendly, and tell her that since she's new here you'd be happy to show her around. Don't ask her, say you want to. The initial assertiveness (although only small) is good, trust me.
CryForNoOne Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Chat with her, be friendly and helpful, and see where things go when you first meet. Try to be natural rather than planning conversation topics ahead of time. That can seem artificial and forced. Just let the conversation flow and be yourself. Good luck! Actually nothing wrong with planning, just don't script or force them into the convo. If you already know of a few things you have in common with her, having something ready to say about them. Don't map them out. Just have a convo starter and then let the rest flow naturally...
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 (edited) I'm a bit concerned about coming out as a stalker or something. Let me explain: Her parents and mine had a few conversations and talked about us, then mine told me about this girl (Idk if her parents told her about me). So while I know a few things about her I don't know how to start a conversation on them without her thinking (or even asking, I hope not) how do I know that. (Oh and to clarify she's alone now, her parents came just to help with her moving) Also I'm a bit shy, I mean once I get to know you a bit, I have no trouble being myself. But it's the ice-breaking that's hard for me. Edited March 13, 2013 by FrustratedGuy91
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 (edited) A big reason for telling you not to plan conversation topics is just this. It's creepy and stalker-ish when a guy you've just met starts talking to you about your interest in XYZ, and you've never even mentioned it to him. It can be fairly offputting sometimes. Guys who show interest by asking relevant questions that flow out of the conversation have a huge leg up on those with their lists of conversation topics that they push out whenever the conversation dies off momentarily. The former comes across as sincere, even when nervous and tongue-tied. The list maker can be stilted and invariably comes across as a little stiff and just off. The conversation doesn't seem natural. Your best bet is to be friendly and just let the conversation go where it will. I agree with Lani's earlier suggestion. Tell her you'd love to show her around. Ask her if there are particular types of things she might want to learn about in the neighborhood: grocery stores, malls, gyms, etc. Offer to be a resource of information. You can also offer to give her a tour of the various sites and attractions in your city or town one weekend after she has settled in. Also a caveat: your parents idea of a great match and yours are likely to differ significantly. Don't get your hopes too high here. You'll be disappointed. Approach your first meeting with zero expectations and you might be pleasantly surprised. Good luck! Edited March 13, 2013 by Cutiepie1976
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Why are you delivering papers to her? It's a certified copy of the rent contract. That's what I do, I'm in charge of that sort of stuff, also things like collecting payments or making them. Also I wanted to thank you all for your advice. I'll try what most suggested and just be friendly and offer to show her around, no expectations. I'll let you know how it goes
LuckyShades Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Just don't overthink it. If She seems warm while meeting you play it from there.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 Sorry about the late update I was busy with college and stuff. So if anyone cares about how it went... That same day, before I could even tell her I had to deliver her those important papers, her father called telling us she missed her home too much and she was going back. So yeah I'll never actually meet her, no big deal.
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Here's how this one will unfold: FrustratedGuy will spend hours thinking about this big moment. He'll pick out the perfect outfit...not flashy, but just enough to exude that he's no schlub. He'll have the perfect lines worked out, the perfect segue into what will turn into a brilliant, deep and connecting conversation. He can already envision gazing deeply into her eyes, and her letting out a slight sigh as she returns the gaze and grows weak at the knees. He will envision his perfect entry, his perfect delivery, and his perfect exit, which will open the floodgates to an amazing relationship. On his drive over, he goes over this scenario in his head over and over. Bubbling with confidence, he will literally leap out of his car, bound up the steps like a wallaby, and swagger through the door to her apartment. He will knock sharply on her door. She will open her door, and be hot. He will hand her the papers, say 'Uhhh, here you go', look straight at the floor and quickly turn and walk briskly away.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 Here's how this one will unfold: FrustratedGuy will spend hours thinking about this big moment. He'll pick out the perfect outfit...not flashy, but just enough to exude that he's no schlub. He'll have the perfect lines worked out, the perfect segue into what will turn into a brilliant, deep and connecting conversation. He can already envision gazing deeply into her eyes, and her letting out a slight sigh as she returns the gaze and grows weak at the knees. He will envision his perfect entry, his perfect delivery, and his perfect exit, which will open the floodgates to an amazing relationship. On his drive over, he goes over this scenario in his head over and over. Bubbling with confidence, he will literally leap out of his car, bound up the steps like a wallaby, and swagger through the door to her apartment. He will knock sharply on her door. She will open her door, and be hot. He will hand her the papers, say 'Uhhh, here you go', look straight at the floor and quickly turn and walk briskly away. Hahaha yeah I that's an accurate description of me. But as I said, she won't be staying, so I won't be handling her anything or meeting her at all, ever
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Hahaha yeah I that's an accurate description of me. But as I said, she won't be staying, so I won't be handling her anything or meeting her at all, ever Oh man, that sucks...I didn't see that post. Drag. But if that's a tendency you have, practice looking straight into people's eyes. Women love it when you look right into their eyes.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Oh man, that sucks...I didn't see that post. Drag. But if that's a tendency you have, practice looking straight into people's eyes. Women love it when you look right into their eyes. Yeah luckly I can do that. But thanks for the advice
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