PogoStick Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Absolutely it matters. Cool embodies the quintessential masculine qualities, it's just the word that has fallen out of fashion. Another obvious "cool" icon is Arthur Fonzarelli. Being cool means one can stay calm in any situation which makes confidence the most important virtue. When someone is confident they don't have to worry because their abilities will bring success. Confidence happens to be the most attractive quality that a woman looks for. Fonz was a hit with the ladies. Why? He knew what he wanted and went after it. He wasn't book smart but was intelligent and wise in life experience. He was tough...well not exactly. He's actually a small guy but was more skilled and witty than his opponents; if a big football jock got in his face he just cracked them in the head with a helmet. Perhaps most important, despite his flaws he had a moral compass, sticking up for his friends and women, and supporting things like civil rights. 2
iKING Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Back in the day, I had several women tell me I was the coolest person they ever met, and they meant it as a compliment. How many of those women did I bed? 0. They chose to sleep with men who were the furthest thing from cool, guys full of crap, ignorant, incompetent in life generally, often the butt of jokes among the "cool" crowd. What did those guys have that the cool crowd and I didn't? Self-possessed seduction skills. I would watch them reach out and grab a girl's tit, and everyone would laugh as she threw a drink on him or kicked him in the nuts. Then they'd be f-cking in the back of a car two nights later, maybe the same night. I learned alot from those guys. Not advocating grabbing women's tits or asses as an opener, just knowing how to take the smallest spark of interest and magnify it, press opportunities even to discomfort, be ready to react instantly to interest and move in, even in public, understanding that female attraction is not a linear process in the way male is, it can be "time compressed," and can rise and ebb in the span of ten minutes. That timing and instinct to action beats cool, and pretty much everything else, hands down. Hypnotism helps too. Always carry a hypnodisk. But that's not the thread topic. Cool is a matter of perception. Well, actually, It's a temperature.
Lani Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I fear being too nice will put me in the friend zone. The physically attractive women that some men are scared to approach, those are the ones I end up getting most of the time. They usually have more emotional baggage than any other type of woman. The unassuming, good girl in public but probably a naughty babe behind closed doors reserved type that you want to introduce to friends and family, treat me like I'm invisible. :( This is because we don't trust you guys.. We've seen you and your type all our lives, and we just know better than to get involved. You've screwed our friends over, and we're not fooled. Not saying you're a jerk, because I've already seen that you're not (always...). Just that you look and sometimes act, like the kind of guy us 'normal' girls avoid. How do you change that? I dunno. Maybe wear shades inside? Pop your collar? Slip us a mickey? 1
Lani Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Cool is a matter of perception. Well, actually, It's a temperature. It's your own perception of the temperature.. as what is cool for me, may not be cool for you.
iKING Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 How do you change that? Slip us a mickey? Have you tried it? There's probably some ideal sugar/spice formula LOLl Eggplant knows the answer. Avoid the slipping of mickeys. It's your own perception of the temperature.. as what is cool for me, may not be cool for you. Touche..
Author MrCastle Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 This is because we don't trust you guys.. We've seen you and your type all our lives, and we just know better than to get involved. You've screwed our friends over, and we're not fooled. Not saying you're a jerk, because I've already seen that you're not (always...). Just that you look and sometimes act, like the kind of guy us 'normal' girls avoid. How do you change that? I dunno. Maybe wear shades inside? Pop your collar? Slip us a mickey? I don't know. I don't think I should pay for the actions of previous men. If women are gonna judge me before giving me a chance, they weren't who I was looking for anyway. I think I've made it pretty obvious I'm no jerk. Those who separate my humorous/attempts at being humorous posts from my honest, considerate advice giving posts will tell easily that I'm a good guy. I'm the same in real life. I say wild stuff but it's easy (easier in person) to tell when I'm messing around and when I'm serious.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Back in the day, I had several women tell me I was the coolest person they ever met, and they meant it as a compliment. How many of those women did I bed? 0. They chose to sleep with men who were the furthest thing from cool, guys full of crap, ignorant, incompetent in life generally, often the butt of jokes among the "cool" crowd. What did those guys have that the cool crowd and I didn't? Self-possessed seduction skills. I would watch them reach out and grab a girl's tit, and everyone would laugh as she threw a drink on him or kicked him in the nuts. Then they'd be f-cking in the back of a car two nights later, maybe the same night. I learned alot from those guys. Not advocating grabbing women's tits or asses as an opener, just knowing how to take the smallest spark of interest and magnify it, press opportunities even to discomfort, be ready to react instantly to interest and move in, even in public, understanding that female attraction is not a linear process in the way male is, it can be "time compressed," and can rise and ebb in the span of ten minutes. That timing and instinct to action beats cool, and pretty much everything else, hands down. Hypnotism helps too. Always carry a hypnodisk. But that's not the thread topic. I studied PUA for a long time, man (I can tell that these are the guys you're talking about). The tactics are probably about 80% BS (mostly marketing to manipulate vulnerable guys). The MINDSET is what's spot on. 1
iKING Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I say wild stuff but it's easy (easier in person) to tell when I'm messing around and when I'm serious. Sarcasm is a royal pain to portray through text.
tuxedo cat Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I actually think cool plays a huge role in attraction for both genders as it indicates social status and confidence. I know it's a superficial trait but it is something I almost find necessary to feel strong attraction to a guy. I only like it in real moderation as too much and the guy seems vain and affected. I'll pass on James Dean. But it's important to me that the guy at least dresses well and has some semblance of style. Social finesse and confident carriage are also very attractive. Cool's sleazy cousin is "suave": gelled hair, flashy dress shirts, pua tricks. It appeals to some women but not a lot. I think men also respond to "cool" in women more than they realize. I have been surprised by how much mileage a woman can get with men by wearing stylish clothes, for example. 1
Lani Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I don't know. I don't think I should pay for the actions of previous men. If women are gonna judge me before giving me a chance, they weren't who I was looking for anyway. I think I've made it pretty obvious I'm no jerk. Those who separate my humorous/attempts at being humorous posts from my honest, considerate advice giving posts will tell easily that I'm a good guy. I'm the same in real life. I say wild stuff but it's easy (easier in person) to tell when I'm messing around and when I'm serious. No, you shouldn't have to pay for the actions of previous men. But unfortunately, you will. Just like some of us women have to pay for the actions of other women. Lifes unfair, but there isn't much we can do. All I can say is hang in there, keep trying, and someone will 'take a chance' on you. Or come to Australia, we're way cooler here 1
Author MrCastle Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Sarcasm is a royal pain to portray through text. I don't think it's so bad. 1
Lani Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Sarcasm is a royal pain to portray through text. There needs to be a 'sarcasm' font. 1
Author MrCastle Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I'll pass on James Dean I wouldn't even pass on James Dean. 2
Author MrCastle Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Or come to Australia, we're way cooler here I might. You, Archgirl, and ES. I'm a fan of down under already 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 This is because we don't trust you guys.. We've seen you and your type all our lives, and we just know better than to get involved. You've screwed our friends over, and we're not fooled. Not saying you're a jerk, because I've already seen that you're not (always...). Just that you look and sometimes act, like the kind of guy us 'normal' girls avoid. How do you change that? I dunno. Maybe wear shades inside? Pop your collar? Slip us a mickey? Nah, he just has to show the girls that he's serious. I used to have the same issue: I would date hot, quality girls, but when I would try to go further, they would always slam me with the whole "I don't think you're serious" line. I can't tell you how many girls have said that to me over the years. Only recently did I get an epiphany: if a girl says that to me, it means to go harder....not back off. Do more romantic things. Show her you're serious, but don't be lame and wishy-washy about it. I've basically come to realize that "I don't think you're serious" is actually a test to see how far I would go for her.
iKING Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I might. You, Archgirl, and ES. I'm a fan of down under already Seriously where have we been Castle? I knew there was a reason I wanted to live there as a kid. 1
Author MrCastle Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Nah, he just has to show the girls that he's serious. I used to have the same issue: I would date hot, quality girls, but when I would try to go further, they would always slam me with the whole "I don't think you're serious" line. I can't tell you how many girls have said that to me over the years. Only recently did I get an epiphany: if a girl says that to me, it means to go harder....not back off. Do more romantic things. Show her you're serious, but don't be lame and wishy-washy about it. I've basically come to realize that "I don't think you're serious" is actually a test to see how far I would go for her. I would do anything for love. But I won't do that.
Lani Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Seriously where have we been Castle? I knew there was a reason I wanted to live there as a kid. Exactly... Where have you guys been all my life? 2
tuxedo cat Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I wouldn't even pass on James Dean. I feel like he'd always be crying on my shoulder. Too angsty for me. 1
iKING Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Exactly... Where have you guys been all my life? Being fools in the US. It seemed to be working well for us. But now.. I'm not so sure. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 So you're saying these traits are individual traits that people do in fact look for? They just don't refer to it as being cool? And wtf is this nonsense of no one says "cool" anymore? I'm 25 and people say it. what everyone finds cool as you said is different like what everyone finds hot varies...........deb
Pyro Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Or come to Australia, we're way cooler here I don't know why but I agree with this. 1
tuxedo cat Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 By the way I've never thought of "easy-going" as cool. Easy-going I think of a guy in khakis hanging out on a porch eating tortilla chips. Cool is more jaded and cosmopolitan.
Lani Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I don't know why but I agree with this. Go to bed, #pyro 1
Author MrCastle Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 By the way I've never thought of "easy-going" as cool. Easy-going I think of a guy in khakis hanging out on a porch eating tortilla chips So you bang this guy but not Dean?
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