kristinaaa Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 If you want my full story and updates check my thread. Here's my concern: Last saturday I just stopped responding back on the guy that I'm seeing on his text messages. We've been seeing each other for almost a year now and this January I started sleeping at his house like everyday (pretty much live like a married couple even though we're not exclusive) until yesterday when I left to go to work. Last saturday he texted me and said to bring him a beer and I didnt respond until he kept on texting me and said why I'm ignoring him but I didn't respond. The next day he texted me again and asked what happened last night, I told him my phone was dead and he said sure. That night I spent the night at his place like the usual. But here's the thing. I know it's immature but I just want to disappear and stop talking to him all at once even though I love him/have feelings for him.I can't bare talking to him about this since I keep thinking he's gonna reject me anyway or he doesn't like me anyway. That way I don't have to go through dumping him or him dumping me in the future if that were to happen. I can't handle rejections very well. When I think of the worse case scenario, I actually BELIEVE it even though I have no proof at all. I believe everything that comes into my mind and I can't help but beat myself up and feel depressed when I think of those things. Is it ever rude to just vanish/disappear? Or should I just keep going with us? Plus I hate that I think about him all the time! I can't help it! I don't want to think about him cause it's distracting me! Even if im working or doing something, he's always on my mind and I dont like it. HELP PLEASE!
flitzanu Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 If you want my full story and updates check my thread. Here's my concern: Last saturday I just stopped responding back on the guy that I'm seeing on his text messages. We've been seeing each other for almost a year now and this January I started sleeping at his house like everyday (pretty much live like a married couple even though we're not exclusive) until yesterday when I left to go to work. Last saturday he texted me and said to bring him a beer and I didnt respond until he kept on texting me and said why I'm ignoring him but I didn't respond. The next day he texted me again and asked what happened last night, I told him my phone was dead and he said sure. That night I spent the night at his place like the usual. But here's the thing. I know it's immature but I just want to disappear and stop talking to him all at once even though I love him/have feelings for him.I can't bare talking to him about this since I keep thinking he's gonna reject me anyway or he doesn't like me anyway. That way I don't have to go through dumping him or him dumping me in the future if that were to happen. I can't handle rejections very well. When I think of the worse case scenario, I actually BELIEVE it even though I have no proof at all. I believe everything that comes into my mind and I can't help but beat myself up and feel depressed when I think of those things. Is it ever rude to just vanish/disappear? Or should I just keep going with us? Plus I hate that I think about him all the time! I can't help it! I don't want to think about him cause it's distracting me! Even if im working or doing something, he's always on my mind and I dont like it. HELP PLEASE! you've been banging him for a year, and you're not exclusive? why?
CptSaveAho Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Should I just leave and disappear? Yes... your guy has no interest in being in a relationship with you... He's being a douchebag with the future faking (fake marriage proposals) and more Contrary to the advice given on this forum and future name calling in your direction... I think leaving and disappearing is your best course of action to move on from him. You have no obligation to explain anything to him since you were not in a relationship 1
Author kristinaaa Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 you've been banging him for a year, and you're not exclusive? why? I turned him down a couple of times. He asked me if we're ever gonna be together, I think I said no. And he asked me to move in a couple of times like 5-6 times but I said no and I felt weird since we're not exclusive so why would I move in with him. And after that we just pretty much lived like a married couple without talking about it since I've been pretty much sleeping there since january until yesterday morning. I was just waiting for him to ask me again, but now I feel like I have to leave this and disappear out of the blue so he wont dump me first if ever. I know I'm being paranoid/overthinking but I really feel like something bad is going to happen. :/
Author kristinaaa Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Yes... your guy has no interest in being in a relationship with you... He's being a douchebag with the future faking (fake marriage proposals) and more Contrary to the advice given on this forum and future name calling in your direction... I think leaving and disappearing is your best course of action to move on from him. You have no obligation to explain anything to him since you were not in a relationship That's what I'm doing
todreaminblue Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I turned him down a couple of times. He asked me if we're ever gonna be together, I think I said no. And he asked me to move in a couple of times like 5-6 times but I said no and I felt weird since we're not exclusive so why would I move in with him. And after that we just pretty much lived like a married couple without talking about it since I've been pretty much sleeping there since january until yesterday morning. I was just waiting for him to ask me again, but now I feel like I have to leave this and disappear out of the blue so he wont dump me first if ever. I know I'm being paranoid/overthinking but I really feel like something bad is going to happen. :/ to me, even if the guy is totally rank in your mind, i think you owe him an explanation , sounds more like to me you are ending it because you dont want him to leave you, and if you truly want a relationship you have to take the good with the bad, and not live in what if he does this or that, but live in the now and make plans for what you desire your future to hold...loving someone is a risk ...but one worth taking if you have love for someone..........do you feel he is the right guy for you......what is it you really want? and discuss this honestly and openly with him , hopefully he will respond in kind.....and then you will know where you stand....good luck....deb
lovelifexx Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Even if you are not "exclusive", you owe him an explanation. If is beyond rude. You are an adult. A few of my exes have done that to me. I understand now that people do that to protect themselves or to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Both times that guys have done that to me, it felt like I was going to die it hurt so bad. It feels worse than cheating. I will never forgive them for that and I lost all respect for them. It's cowardly and immature and cruel. Whatever your situation, and what you do or don't owe him. People should talk about things. Nothing gets solved by people running away from eachother.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 to me, even if the guy is totally rank in your mind, i think you owe him an explanation , sounds more like to me you are ending it because you dont want him to leave you, and if you truly want a relationship you have to take the good with the bad, and not live in what if he does this or that, but live in the now and make plans for what you desire your future to hold...loving someone is a risk ...but one worth taking if you have love for someone..........do you feel he is the right guy for you......what is it you really want? and discuss this honestly and openly with him , hopefully he will respond in kind.....and then you will know where you stand....good luck....deb I want us to be exclusive but then again if you read my thread I can't fully trust him of what had just happened recently. He told me the other night he wants to be with me but he was drunk so I didn't really pay attention to it since he also asked me that he wants to have threesome which was like a slap in the face. He used to ask me that a lot before but he stopped and now he asked me about it again. Now I feel like after everything he had done to me, he disrespected me in so many ways but I remained on his side, picked him up from jail and took care of him like a real husband and I get disrespected like that is not okay to me and it's hurting me so much that I can't even stop thinking about everything that he did to me. I feel like my only way to get out is to vanish because as much as I want to be with him I don't want to deal with all that especially if I get hurt very easily. Yesterday night when I slept at his house he was yelling my name while sleeping and I woke him up and said he had a nightmare. That morning I left to go to work and we we're cuddling and everything was fine when I left and that day he just started acting weird, I was thinking maybe he was affected by that dream or something, idk but he acted weird since yesterday that's why I think my only way out of this is to just disappear/vanish. I just don't think I can handle confronting him. I just started on my anti-depression pills so maybe that's adding up on my head. This is the 2nd guy that I've fallen for.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Even if you are not "exclusive", you owe him an explanation. If is beyond rude. You are an adult. A few of my exes have done that to me. I understand now that people do that to protect themselves or to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Both times that guys have done that to me, it felt like I was going to die it hurt so bad. It feels worse than cheating. I will never forgive them for that and I lost all respect for them. It's cowardly and immature and cruel. Whatever your situation, and what you do or don't owe him. People should talk about things. Nothing gets solved by people running away from eachother. Have you done this before? I mean I know it's rude but I'm doing this to protect myself. Besides, people here said I need to think about myself after being mistreated by the person we love in order for us to be stronger. Isn't that what we should be doing anyway, to protect ourselves from getting hurt.
flitzanu Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I turned him down a couple of times. He asked me if we're ever gonna be together, I think I said no. And he asked me to move in a couple of times like 5-6 times but I said no and I felt weird since we're not exclusive so why would I move in with him. And after that we just pretty much lived like a married couple without talking about it since I've been pretty much sleeping there since january until yesterday morning. I was just waiting for him to ask me again, but now I feel like I have to leave this and disappear out of the blue so he wont dump me first if ever. I know I'm being paranoid/overthinking but I really feel like something bad is going to happen. :/ firstly, he can't "dump" you because you're not dating. you're a FWB in a convenient situation. and i hate to say, but this is your doing, if he's asked to "be with you" and you turned him down. at this point, if you WANT to be with him, you need to (wo)man up and tell him what you want and that you want a relationship, or, you tell him that you're leaving and don't want to be in the situation anymore.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 firstly, he can't "dump" you because you're not dating. you're a FWB in a convenient situation. and i hate to say, but this is your doing, if he's asked to "be with you" and you turned him down. at this point, if you WANT to be with him, you need to (wo)man up and tell him what you want and that you want a relationship, or, you tell him that you're leaving and don't want to be in the situation anymore. I know it's my fault. I really feel bad that it turned out this way. But the thing is I think he noticed that I've been distant lately because it would take me forever to respond to him and I ignored him when he kept texting me. But then again he did so many things that hurt me too! Just this monday night he texted me that I should try texting him sometimes. The thing is I don't like texting him first, I feel like I bother people when I text them first so I just don't text people first at all unless they text me. After that he ended his text message with *you shouldn't be scared of rejection* and I texted him back and said *WTH are you talking about?* He never responded until now. Then I thought to myself that I should just disappear out of the blue so I don't have to see him anymore and not come back to his house. I still have some of my things there but I don't care if I dont get it anymore. I just wanna get this done so I can move on like any other people here and so I don't have to suffer from everything that he had done to me. Some of the things that he did to me left me traumatized and unable to trust anyone. I feel like **** right now. I just want to forget him and not remember him anymore. I know it's rude/immature of me to do it but I am just doing this to protect myself. Plus some people said he deserved it for mistreating me so many times. I'm stupid that I didn't leave the first time he mistreated me, but now I have the balls to actually just leave without explanation. I'm so hurt and confused that I just want to leave and forget what we had. I wasted almost a year of my life with him and it's my fault!
lovelifexx Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 YOu asked shouldn't we be protecting ourselves? so what are you saying because my ex didn't want to confront me and end it properly because it was a difficult situation for him he had every right to do that to me becuase he was protecting himself?!? SO we should only think about ourselves?! IT nearly killed me when he just disappeared like that. YOu are not making any sense at all. You are hurt because you say he doesn't want to be exclusive, but you knew it all along. It sounds to me like you want to disappear becuase you purposely want to hurt him. And how is not confronting him and telling him you aren't happy witht the situation and that you don't want it anymore not protecting yourself. To be honest, reading your thread makes me sick. You are a totally selfish person. Grow up.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 YOu asked shouldn't we be protecting ourselves? so what are you saying because my ex didn't want to confront me and end it properly because it was a difficult situation for him he had every right to do that to me becuase he was protecting himself?!? SO we should only think about ourselves?! IT nearly killed me when he just disappeared like that. YOu are not making any sense at all. You are hurt because you say he doesn't want to be exclusive, but you knew it all along. It sounds to me like you want to disappear becuase you purposely want to hurt him. And how is not confronting him and telling him you aren't happy witht the situation and that you don't want it anymore not protecting yourself. To be honest, reading your thread makes me sick. You are a totally selfish person. Grow up. I didn't say he didn't want to be exclusive, he never said such thing. He did told me the other night he wants to be with me but at the same time he was drunk. He was the one who asked me last year if we're ever gonna be together and he was the one who asked me to move in with him but I turned him down. I don't mean to say that thats what your ex boyfriend did to you because we all have our different situation. Not confronting him is the easy way out for me because if I go on any further I feel like something terrible is going to happen and I don't want to deal with his drama anymore. He treated me bad and I was nice to him all along but I don't get to just disappear to do myself a favor? My friends told me he deserved it since he was bad to me most of the time but some people said it's rude. I don't know which side to take!
Author kristinaaa Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 OMG I just got a text from him and he said that *Just so you know. Tupac (his dog) misses you.* I'm not responding to him ever! I just thought I'd post to let it out on my system.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 15, 2013 Author Posted March 15, 2013 Please tell me you are from this planet Unfortunately I am from this planet. Lol I'm just reall having a hard time in this situation that I felt like the only easy way out is to disappear from him
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