deranged_baboon Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I started dating this girl a few months ago, and it was going phenomenally well. We complement each other perfectly and every aspect of our dating was going pretty much perfect. However at one point she admitted to me that she hadn't completely recovered from her past relationship, where her ex who she liked a lot cheated on her twice. The problem is that she constantly runs into him because they have a lot of common friends, and she'd always put a lot of effort into not making eye contact or talking to him. She hates him for cheating on her but a part of her has a soft corner for him even though she never wants to date him again. So anyway my girl decided she wanted to break up with me because she felt guilty that she wasn't 100% over her previous relationship, and she felt that was unfair to me. Also, she's barely ever been single over the past few years and she says she'd like to be single for a few months. So the situation is we broke up over this a few weeks ago. It was difficult for her because she likes me a lot and everyone around her (friends etc.) constantly told her that I'm the right guy for her because I'm nice and respectful unlike her ******* ex. She was crying, etc. And she said she wants to break up for now and revisit this in a few months. She said she still hoped we could be in some contact and hang out during our "break" but I told her straight up that that wouldn't happen because I don't want to just be her friend. She seemed to understand. Anyway, in the first couple of weeks after she broke up, she would occasionally text me random things and tried to call once. However I haven't replied or been in contact. Now it's been over a week since she tried to contact me. My question is: should I continue doing what I've been doing and avoid all contact? I've been missing her immensely lately and I'm really tempted to send her a text. But my friends think I should back off so that she can miss me and wonder what I'm up to. However I feel weird being so passive about this, I want to be proactive and contact her so I stay on her mind. Am I shooting myself in the foot by not being in touch, because she's going to think I've moved on and she will too? Or is it smart because it's going to make her miss me and wonder what I'm up to? What should I do and when should I contact her?
todreaminblue Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I started dating this girl a few months ago, and it was going phenomenally well. We complement each other perfectly and every aspect of our dating was going pretty much perfect. However at one point she admitted to me that she hadn't completely recovered from her past relationship, where her ex who she liked a lot cheated on her twice. The problem is that she constantly runs into him because they have a lot of common friends, and she'd always put a lot of effort into not making eye contact or talking to him. She hates him for cheating on her but a part of her has a soft corner for him even though she never wants to date him again. So anyway my girl decided she wanted to break up with me because she felt guilty that she wasn't 100% over her previous relationship, and she felt that was unfair to me. Also, she's barely ever been single over the past few years and she says she'd like to be single for a few months. So the situation is we broke up over this a few weeks ago. It was difficult for her because she likes me a lot and everyone around her (friends etc.) constantly told her that I'm the right guy for her because I'm nice and respectful unlike her ******* ex. She was crying, etc. And she said she wants to break up for now and revisit this in a few months. She said she still hoped we could be in some contact and hang out during our "break" but I told her straight up that that wouldn't happen because I don't want to just be her friend. She seemed to understand. Anyway, in the first couple of weeks after she broke up, she would occasionally text me random things and tried to call once. However I haven't replied or been in contact. Now it's been over a week since she tried to contact me. My question is: should I continue doing what I've been doing and avoid all contact? I've been missing her immensely lately and I'm really tempted to send her a text. But my friends think I should back off so that she can miss me and wonder what I'm up to. However I feel weird being so passive about this, I want to be proactive and contact her so I stay on her mind. Am I shooting myself in the foot by not being in touch, because she's going to think I've moved on and she will too? Or is it smart because it's going to make her miss me and wonder what I'm up to? What should I do and when should I contact her? I think you should leave it for a while, i dont understand women or men who get in relationships when they arent ready, normally when you go into a relationship to me, its about knowing who you want to be with, who you genuiinely have deep feelings for, now life can knock you on your butt, and you can have doubt and indecision thats natural, what isnt natural is to give away something that you wanted to be in, so i am under the assumption the feelings arent there to start with if you want to give it away......if you truly want a relationship with a person you dont go ....nah not sure now....i dont know what you should do, other than to say, if you truly want to text her text her and hope for the best because that is all you can do is be true to what you want, if she truly wants you there will be no games.........best wishes....why is your username deranged baboon......it interests me to know....lol.......deb
Author deranged_baboon Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 I forgot to mention this, but when we first met she really wasn't looking to date. She thought we were just friends and going to be friends, however I made a "move" and she responded in the spur of the moment. She knew she wasn't ready for a relationship but she got into one with me anyway because she liked me a lot. Why am I deranged baboon? The answer to that is the answer to: why do girls have difficulty getting over exs who treat them like crap when they have the chance to date a nice, respectful guy who they are into. Who knows...
Author deranged_baboon Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Can you explain why? Truth is I just think she is just kind of naive and inexperienced and doesn't have a bad bone in her or any bad intentions. Also, apologies for posting this in the wrong forum, I didn't realize there was a forum devoted to break-ups and breaks.
MrCastle Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Can you explain why? Truth is I just think she is just kind of naive and inexperienced and doesn't have a bad bone in her or any bad intentions. I just dealt with something similar days ago. Although the girl wasn't officially broken up but instead was taking a "break" from her bf. Everything was going smoothly. She initiated most of the contact, heavy flirting, suggestive texts, started saying she was developing feelings for me, etc. Then she went completely cold out of nowhere, for 3 straight days. On the fourth day I asked her what was up, she said her and her bf got back together. Didn't give me a heads up at any point. Just stopped talking to me with no rhyme or reason. It was not until I confronted her about it that she told me. I shouldn't have had to ask. She should have told me herself, like an adult. I'm a human being with feelings, just like her. Moral of the story is, people will always try to give their ex another chance if they are not fully over them. They have an emotional history with them that they don't have with you. A woman the other day made a post about taking her ex back and that things were different this time around. A few days later they got into a huge fight that almost got physical. People act really stupid when it comes to matters of the heart. Logic goes out the window. Stay away from this chick until she comes to you first and is 100% over the ex.
Recommended Posts