qwerty1987 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Hi all I would like to gain some opinions on my break up with my girlfriend. Basically I met this beautiful woman who is 28 2 years ago, the situation was a bit awkward as she has 2 kids with her ex boyfriend of 14 years, she started seeing me in secrecy as her ex bf will not go with another man. Everything was going great for 4 months until she dropped a bombshell on me saying she wanted to be alone, I kicked up a fuss as we do but respected her decision and she broke up with me. 4 months later I gt a text msg off her asking if I would talk to her again, I jumped art the chance and we got back together again. The relationship goes well and she dumps me again for no reason , she kept saying that she should spend more time with her kids, I only used to see her on the weekends properley anyway. This time I just got so angry bcus I was being treated like this but again I respected her decision and went nc. 6 months go by and I receive a msg asking me ifwe should hang out, stupidly I said yes and we end up back together, this time we was together for 8 months and I relly thought that this would be the time that she realised I was the one for her, I was wrong, 1 month b4 the bu she started acting strange by not replying to my msgs and making excuses to come and meet up. So I ask her wat is wrong and she said nothing, I'm allowed to be quiet you know, she would always be online on whatsapp at late times of the night but she wouldn't msg me, in the end I asked her where I stood and she said I should find sum1 with less baggage and she should be sum1s bit on the side, bear in mind she has more guy mates than women. She done all this over txt and I got so angry I called her a few nasty names and she said some nasty things back, I went in nc straightaway and hvent msg her for 7 weeks, I'm getting better but I really love this womn loads even aftert wht she did, I see her on my way to wwork sometimes an it brings it all back, do u guys think she just played me all along. Thanks
Lost Fish Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 do u guys think she just played me all along. Thanks Most likely - even if at the time she didn't realize it. Listen man. This chick is bad news. She has so much going on with her that she is going to be toxic to any dude who gets too close to her at this point in her life. I think it was strong of you to be able to maintain NC when you did previously, but this time I would stick it out for the long haul. And I know you have feelings and stuff for her, and you probably feel pretty low, but seriously bro. You are better off right now. If you were with her right now it would only mean that she'd push you away again after a period of time. And you don't need that. You deserve better. Be strong. 2
Author qwerty1987 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Thanks for your view lostfish, I really think that she is the type of woman who gets "bored" easily; I know she has had a past of being with different guys in a short space of time; she admitted this to me when we was together and she said this was down to her ex because he kept leaving her and then taking her back, I think she used the same tactics with me, everytime I see her my heart just beats so quick and I wish I could have her back but looking back at it on other days I'm happy that she's gone because I wouldn't be able to have a future with a woman like that :-( 1
Lost Fish Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 everytime I see her my heart just beats so quick and I wish I could have her back but looking back at it on other days I'm happy that she's gone because I wouldn't be able to have a future with a woman like that :-( That's ok man. It's a very healthy thought and emotion when you feel good that you aren't with her because you want to be happy in life. It shows you have self respect, which is a great thing to hold onto especially when coming out of a relationship. Now build from it. Do other good things for yourself - exercise, eat right, chill with your friends and family, etc. You'll be fine.
Author qwerty1987 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Thanks for your help bro, all in good time I should be fine, time is a good healer and I really do believe in that, I just keep myself busy, work hard that I'm too shattered to think about her then there's days when I think of her non stop; soon I will be changing my work shift to nights so that I don't spend time thinking of her in the daytime at work, I'll be in bed instead lol.
OwlSoul Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 bear in mind she has more guy mates than women. Could this be something that made you feel to prove her that you are better than others/ treat her extremely well? When one of the partners feel than the other one is putting more efforts to the relationship, it usually drives the partner away from the more loving one. After the time passes, the dumper feels unsecure, lonely and etc. and starts getting feelings back to the dumpee. Thanks for your view lostfish, I really think that she is the type of woman who gets "bored" easily I think she focuses part of her emotions to other things (like kids/work/hobbies) more than you. So, as said before, she feels less and less love as time goes, whereas you love her deeper and deeper. she said this was down to her ex because he kept leaving her and then taking her back Most likely she is right. However, do not take it like she is ravanging by acting like this with you. She went through what you're going through now, co-oping with the pain and etc. As a result she learned to focus her emotions on something else, rather than on her partner only. From my experience, I was co-oping with me being dumped by feeling rage. But instead of expressing it to the dumper, I used it in self-development.
Author qwerty1987 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I think your right about what you say with regards to treatment, she actualy admitted to me when we first got together that she has neverr been treated the way I treated her, it brings meto say that if I treated her right why dump someone 3 times.? Personally I think she's seeing someone else now and once she's bored she will look for another target
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