Past lovers

[cr.tucker]

My wife and and have been married 22yrs we a very active sex life.we have both been divorced and lived the single life.when first met we talked about past sexual experiences but no details. She claims I the biggest and the best lover she ever had (i wasn't born yesterday) but she says honestly and swears its true says look at your self I am above average and well endowed not overly.but that's beside the point.no problem life is good.One night about a year ago partying and she had bit more than usaual to drink. We were having great sex and afterwards holding each other I ask her halfass jokingly but curious I ask out of all the lovers you have how do I rate she after a pause 5 then no 6 I ask O really than is number 1 she didn't say anything I was like oh oh I ****ed up. I didn't look at like that I looked at like that's not fair 22 years in the marriage and I'm lied to and what chance do I have chance to top # 1 since I'm your husband you should have been honest with me.the next morning when I ask why she had not told me she was drunk and was actually babbling and did not mean it she said no is like you look at all the places we've had sex nobody has ever been like you all over the world on the motorcycle outside every position in the barn toys in every way she says your the best ever I let it go she even wrote me long love letter and said don't worry your the best I was drunk and really didn't understand Question. I love her no matter what were very happy do everything togather laugh.But sometimes I think #6 and boy it really eats At me.i have ask about this 2 times and she gets really pissed and we argued I want truth I don't want to thank that all these years in the back of mind I love my husband and he is good in the bed but someone else is in the back of her mind I cheated that at least I could have bested # 1 I'm competive like so I'm sending this thread out just for some honest opinions hey I'm not that insecure but hey in human it stuck me I'm successful and secure in most ways

[Renard99]

You really need to just let it go. As long as she's happy and you're happy with both the sex life and the relationship in general there is nothing to worry about.

 

By forcing the situation and rocking the boat you may be causing long term problems in the relationship. What if, for example, through your competitive nature, you try and become the number 1 lover, but by doing so stop doing everything she likes about you in bed? You may risk dropping down, not going up.

 

The other thing I think is that what she said is all relative. I was once with a girl who was absolutely wild in the bedroom. By far my number 1 in the bedroom based on performance.... however.... the sex was sporadic, always on her terms, only when she wanted it, and, after a while got a little repetitive but ... my god, when it all came together it was phenomenal. Now, my current girlfriend is probably number 2 on the list in the bedroom but I'm far more satisfied with our sex life. It's more regular, more varied and more mutual and that is far more healthy for our relationship in the long run.

 

When it comes to a relationship, sex is only one part of a bigger thing. When everything is working in harmony and is liked by both partners, why rock the boat.