Author RedRobin Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I don't think you've accounted for people that buy, then flip and resell for a profit. ha ha... well, I'm pretty sure my ex-H made out better on the deal than I did. Yes, some renters agree to get married. They are married as long as things are totally convenient for them.... and yea, they gravitate to buyers because we are oh-so accommodating. The important thing is the relationship style. I personally believe in the institution (marriage)... having seen it done well by many of my relatives. I just had no clue what to look for or screen out the ones who were just 'fun-time' husbands. I do now!!
Green Light Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 What if you buy and then find out they had black mold and leaking basement walls but they were doing a good job of hiding those things? 3
iKING Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 What if you buy and then find out they had black mold and leaking basement walls but they were doing a good job of hiding those things? Renter's insurance. Buyers would've done a thorough enough inspection to ensure nothing of the sort was present. 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 What if you buy and then find out they had black mold and leaking basement walls but they were doing a good job of hiding those things? Ohhhh touche. Love the analogy. The plot thickens....
Green Light Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I'm getting too old to wait a year to have sex in a relationship. It's "use it or lose it" time before I have to start taking those expensive pills.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Renter's insurance. Buyers would've done a thorough enough inspection to ensure nothing of the sort was present. Pre-nup? (10 characters) 1
Green Light Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 And what about "rent to own" hah? Anyone bring that theory up yet!!!!????
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 And what about "rent to own" hah? Anyone bring that theory up yet!!!!???? Does the mortgage include the alimony payments?
iKING Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 And what about "rent to own" hah? Anyone bring that theory up yet!!!!???? The game has officially been changed. (joking) I still believe both parties involved should have the same ideals regarding a relationship/marriage starting relatively early so neither party gets strung into a situation they're not looking for. Rent to own can happen, I'd assume typically with younger couples who are unsure of what they want from the get-go. 2
Green Light Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Does the mortgage include the alimony payments? How would it work in a reverse mortgage? The poorest would make payments to the richest? Better have some d@mn good marriage insurance! Full Tort baby!
Woggle Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I would have been better off renting the first time around or maybe looking inside the house and running as fast as I could. This time I around I am glad I bought. I am not anti-marriage but a person must be very careful about who they marry especially for a man. I am still dealing with the fallout of marrying the wrong woman more than a decade ago. 1
Dreamless Sleep Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 First of all... great thread I haven't stopped by in awhile. I'm a buyer typically. Never leased a car. Hated leasing a townhouse vs buying. Never looked back while I was married. But. I've been burning through women as I'm judging probably too harshly and quickly. If I don't think it's long term I move on. Now I'm trying to let it play out longer. Trying to concentrate on the positive. But I haven't yet dated a woman without feeling like they wanted to either move in or get married. The vibe has presented very quick every time. I guess I feel a bit claustrophobic when I hear my last name attached to their first name or they tell me they love me. Maybe it's a process. Not sure that I want to be a renter. Just haven't found the right place to put my feet up.
Els Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I must be odd, because I approach Rs not like a buyer, renter, or freeloader, but like a... surprise, surprise... partnership. 3
ja123 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 This is an interesting thread. For me, I've changed from being a buyer to a renter/freeloader. I bought before, and sold at a loss. So at this point I'm not looking to invest in anything that is not my own single-property house. I'm not looking for a duplex. I might vacation on someone's couch. Perhaps I've become more of a freeloader than a renter, as I don't even want to pay rent at this point.
man_in_the_box Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 For every guy that takes relationships for granted there's another woman out there doing the same. And visa versa. I've never understood how you can rationally claim that either gender is responsible for the majority of relationship problems while its obviously a cooperative thing. Unless you allow yourself to be so painted by your own experiences that rational thought succumbs to wild generalizations. 2
Els Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Numbers wise, Ive met far more men than women who take a relationship for granted. I find women to be more interested in satisfying their partner's needs than men in the long run. Every. single. one. of my female married friends has made complaints that their husbands have become detached. Im talking more than 10 women and they didnt marry *******s either and do not have ridiculous expectations. How many married men do you talk to about relationship issues? Sorry, but your sampling really seems pretty biased.
Els Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Are you equally close to the women and men whom you are asking? AFAIK, decent men typically don't talk about their marriage issues with other women. They see it as airing dirty linen in public and they don't want to provide the illusion of emotional closeness. They either talk to men about it, or (more commonly) don't talk about it at all.
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I was a buyer. Bought a really nice house, and then once I closed, I realized that the foundation was made of sand. Then all the plumbing went bad, and then the roof collapsed, and then it ended up having mold in the walls. Unfortunately, I was so upside down on it that I had to stick with it and try to fix it up. Finally, I said 'screw it', stopped making payments and went into forclosure. Walked away, lost my ass, but am much happier renting month to month with no lease. Yay to me for learning my lesson.
Els Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Id say about half of my friends are male and half are female. I see what youre saying, but the majority of my male friends have very honest personalities like myself. The most common things I heard men complain about marriage wise is how their wives werent doing ENOUGH for them. I see. How do you interpret this (rather limited) data to mean that the men are taking their R for granted and the women are not, then? Or that the women are more interested in meeting their guys' needs than the men?
man_in_the_box Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Numbers wise, Ive met far more men than women who take a relationship for granted. I find women to be more interested in satisfying their partner's needs than men in the long run. Every. single. one. of my female married friends has made complaints that their husbands have become detached. Im talking more than 10 women and they didnt marry *******s either and do not have ridiculous expectations. Pretty much all of my male friends (who arent jerks) do the same thing with their girlfriends after theyve been dating them for a year. They admit to me its hard to not take them for granted I'm very sorry to hear that you and your friends. Before I make my real point: have you heard both sides of their story? It could be that the men you're talking about will tell a whole different story right? But I believe your experiences. Likewise I have friends that got hurt by women, either being strung along, infidelity, emotional neglect, physical neglect and many more reasons. But my friends and acquaintances circle consists of about 20-30 males I regularly see. Let's say they all had 2-3 partners during the period that I know them that leads to 40-90 relationships of which I heard relationship drama now and then. It might look like a big deal but considering there are about 7 billion people on the planet this represents a meager 100*90/3.5e9 = 0.0000026% of all men and their relationships. It's a stupid estimation ofcourse but it underlines how little personal experience matters when it comes to making a statement about a whole gender. 2
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Women are taught in our society to value our relationships and our partners feelings. Mmmmmmm.....nope. The BS meter just pegged.
Els Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Women are taught in our society to value our relationships and our partners feelings. Men are not taught this. There are certainly very selfish and mean women out there, I have met them so Im not saying at all that all women are angels and men are the devil. But when you live in a society where men feel the pressure to provide income (yet thats slowly going away...golddiggers are hated upon now more and more) and they dont get the same messages about learning to connect with other people or genuinely care the way women do, its really not rocket science that there are more men who dont care about their partners feelings as women. I didnt need my lawyer friend to tell me emotional neglect is really common from husbands to me its common sense Im not blaming men, Im blaming society. Women alot of times enable this behavior as well and just say "well hes a guy." Hmmm, I agree with this to an extent. In that I don't think the male way is 'wrong' and the female way 'right'. For instance, when most guys have a problem, they don't want to talk about it, because it makes it worse for them. Women typically feel better after talking about it. The thing is: One way isn't better than the other. That isn't to say that we don't all need to try and see things from the other person's POV and try to compromise. We do. And it's entirely possible that the women you're talking to had a valid complaint. But just because men's complaints are different, doesn't mean they are any less valid. To some men it isn't about 'not caring', it's about different communication styles and needs and lack of understanding. People demonstrate caring in different ways.
man_in_the_box Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 So what you are basically saying is that you and your friends/acquaintances/colleagues are valid and mine or anyone else's that do not testify your findings don't matter? 2
man_in_the_box Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Well, you are presenting statements that you apply to the entire male gender or the large majority of them... based solely on your own experiences and that of a couple of friends and acquaitances. I just don't see how you can possibly conclude that your findings are correct without also implicitly stating that anyone that has found out the opposite or just no trend whatsoever, based on their empirical findings, is wrong. If you want to back up something that applies to almost an entire gender you have to come up with sensible evidence otherwise your argument is no stronger than anyone that says "well I think it's the otherway around because that's what I've experienced!". 1
man_in_the_box Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Well, present them. I'm very curious to read a reliable, rational, trustworthy methods that can proof that men do not value relationships.
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