lamaga Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 My ex just emailed me last night. He asks how I am doing and that he thinks of me, says he wants to 'break the silence'. Complimented me on my new hair (he must have seen on instagram) and that he hopes to hear from me soon. Should I reply or not? I feel like 2 weeks hasn't been long enough... And we need more time. How long until I should reply? His email was very sincere and I could tell it took him a long time to put it together.
iouaname Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Do you want to be friends with him and have the lines of communication open in friendly ways? If not - ignore it. This is just so that he can feel better for himself. 1
Author lamaga Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 well, i don't think he is trying to feel better about having broken up with writing this email, i am sure it wasn't easy for him to write. i've moved on with my life already and it was for him to see how happy i've been and how well i've been doing (given he still follows me on instagram). so that's why i was so confused. i definitely don't want to be friends and he is still leaving for india in may, so i don't think it would be good to get back in touch. however, i don't want him to think i am ignoring this attempt of 'getting back in touch'. i want to write SOMETHING but i don't know what.
geegirl Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 If you don't want to be friends and you don't see a reason to get back in touch, then leave it alone. What is the point in opening communication when you don't want to have him in your life. Best to just let it go. 1
benice Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 hunny, my advice to you is to email him back a simple text thanking him for the complement. Do not ignore him. I did that and now he no longer sends me messages. If you want him back, now is the time to reopen the lines of communication. Remember communication is the key. Log onto the love doctor, and see what he says about the no contact rule. good luck hun.
Author lamaga Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 hunny, my advice to you is to email him back a simple text thanking him for the complement. Do not ignore him. I did that and now he no longer sends me messages. If you want him back, now is the time to reopen the lines of communication. Remember communication is the key. Log onto the love doctor, and see what he says about the no contact rule. good luck hun. Thanks for those words. I DO want him back but I think we would have to start a new and could never just keep going from where we left off. That's why I think maybe time apart is good, but I DO want to answer. It's hard for me to comeup with something simple to reply with though.
Joan Clyde Parafina Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I cannot speak for your ex my dear, but you should try to see things in different angles. YES, your ex might contact you this time , it might bring pleasure, or gees, or self esteem(let's admit girls that sometimes, we wait for this.) But that doesn't mean he's sincere or HE'S BACK FOR GOOD. You know your ex more than others do, but this time, learn to set boundaries and how far you could go for a guy as long as he deserves it. If he's really sincere and love you, the relationship shouldn't reached this point with your new hair done,, after all:)
Author lamaga Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I cannot speak for your ex my dear, but you should try to see things in different angles. YES, your ex might contact you this time , it might bring pleasure, or gees, or self esteem(let's admit girls that sometimes, we wait for this.) But that doesn't mean he's sincere or HE'S BACK FOR GOOD. You know your ex more than others do, but this time, learn to set boundaries and how far you could go for a guy as long as he deserves it. If he's really sincere and love you, the relationship shouldn't reached this point with your new hair done,, after all:) I know, I know... It's hard to generalize. Lot's of people here told me mean things about how he's just off screwing someone else etc. I mean, of course I know him and the kind of person he is and what he is struggling with and I know for sure he loves me and has some demons inside that make him feel so confused and all. I KNOW what happened was awful, but I've been through this before and back then I was very self-destructive and this time I am just taking time for me and making things better for me and it's been really good so far, I am actually in a really good place right now. Oh ,and the hair... I just moved continents and changing my hair has more to do with my usual 3-year-plan and not really with the break up But yeah, I love him dearly, I want him to be in my life and I want to write something back, and I think at some point in the future we have a chance again, just not right now. But what do I write back that is nice and simple and not too forward? He wrote "How are you? I am thinking of you and I want to break the silence. You never sent me your song! I looked forward to listening to it. How is it to be back home? It's been almost two weeks now. I saw your new hair color, it looks good on you. (.....some other stuff about work and a friend visiting....) I hope you will write me soon." What does one answer to that?
Joan Clyde Parafina Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 You're definitely right with your counterpoise, and your perspective towards this and that guy. I'm glad to know either that the break up helped you (as a woman, I am proud of you.) So now, you're back in the game, and I know, you'll be wiser this time. You have the best cards in your hands, and the best back up- YOURSELF.
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