Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Ok so.....I've been dating someone and we called it a relationship in the midst of a hot moment. So we are in "relationship ". If I admitted that I sometimes question my attraction and only really called it a "relationship" after a certain quantity of times met (dates) occurred, however I note that I'm much more positive and I wouldn't match better with anyone else? Sometimes I look around but ATM this is the best I can do. I know with others I'd be put to square one and if women could make it possible , even square zero.
will1988 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 to me it sounds like you call that person your partner, but it sounds like you are not as into them as you want to be... maybe it is time to move on?
Leilana Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 in your shoes and was interested in the chick and not knowing what to call the situation, I'd just straight up ask her what she wanted out of it and do what was best for the situation and to try and make the special girl in my life happy if the stars were aligned. ^_^ Maybe she's happy with you two just dating for now, and that's cool! Maybe she like the relationship title and wants to keep it and get to know you better, if you are emotionally available for that, that's cool! Maybe she wants to work towards marriage one day with someone, if you want that too.. cool! If not, you should probably let her know so she can get on dating others who know where they are in life a bit more. Anyways, yeah, you should ask her what she wants. Be a man, deliver if you can and be upfront and honest if you can't!!! She'll respect you more for it either way and if she doesn't, she isn't worth your time. Good luck!
Author Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 to me it sounds like you call that person your partner, but it sounds like you are not as into them as you want to be... maybe it is time to move on? The raw fact of the matter is she actually treats me well. I know if I went to some other girl, yea, maybe she'd look better. But quite honestly, I feel like they'd **** on me regardless of the typical niceties I display. This one actually works with me. But right now after having gone single for too long as well as dealing with fetishism, my animalistic side is more active then I am. She asked me the other night in the middle of intimacy " what I considered this". I simply said "looks like a relationship seeing as how things are going." That's what she wanted to hear. And she's actually got a respectable life unlike some girls I know; she has a career and salary and a life somewhat together.......meh wtf do I know. At this point in my life it's stay alone or be grateful for what you get.
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Doesn't sound like you're all that attracted to or excited about her. Which is sad, especially in these early relationship stages. I think you should let her go so she can find someone who would be genuinely happy to be with her.
Author Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Doesn't sound like you're all that attracted to or excited about her. Which is sad, especially in these early relationship stages. I think you should let her go so she can find someone who would be genuinely happy to be with her. Why is realism such a bad thing? Realistically we are both ppl who have been completely overlooked by society.
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Why is realism such a bad thing? Realistically we are both ppl who have been completely overlooked by society. Nothing wrong with "realism"...in fact, why don't you share with her what you've shared with us, and see if she still wants to stick around? That would be "real." 2
Author Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Nothing wrong with "realism"...in fact, why don't you share with her what you've shared with us, and see if she still wants to stick around? That would be "real." So you're saying every guy you're with, he's the man of your dreams? Man do I envy your life....
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 So you're saying every guy you're with, he's the man of your dreams? Man do I envy your life.... I feel that way about my boyfriend, yes. I wouldn't rather be with anyone else. I can't imagine how bad it would sting to be told "I'm not really that attracted to you, and I look around a lot but you're probably the best I can do right now. I mean, I could find someone nicer looking, but they probably wouldn't treat me well. So you'll do for now." 1
Author Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 I feel that way about my boyfriend, yes. I wouldn't rather be with anyone else. I can't imagine how bad it would sting to be told "I'm not really that attracted to you, and I look around a lot but you're probably the best I can do right now. I mean, I could find someone nicer looking, but they probably wouldn't treat me well. So you'll do for now." Try getting told a few dozen times indirectly to eat **** from other guys. You'll come around. So what should I do? Just stop seeing her and shatter her that way instead?
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 She might be "shattered" (a little severe considering you two haven't been seeing each other for that long), but she'd also be free to go find something more fulfilling, with someone who is actually attracted to her. If I were in her position, I'd want to know you felt that way. So that I could move on.
Author Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 She might be "shattered" (a little severe considering you two haven't been seeing each other for that long), but she'd also be free to go find something more fulfilling, with someone who is actually attracted to her. If I were in her position, I'd want to know you felt that way. So that I could move on. You're magnifying things I say and throwing them out of proportion. I'm attracted to her in the moment. But I'm trying to think in the long term. I don't feel there should be anything wrong about that. Coming from a guy whose had no positive sexual/relationship experiencing, dating someone actually on his level, "right ", "wrong", "love", "hate", all becomes purely perspective.
normal person Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 (edited) Try getting told a few dozen times indirectly to eat **** from other guys. You'll come around. So what should I do? Just stop seeing her and shatter her that way instead? If you aren't that into her, it's going to manifest itself one way or another eventually. You'll become unhappy or start desiring something more than she's giving you. I don't think that you getting told to eat **** in the past gives you a free pass to withhold the whole truth from someone else. I'm attracted to her in the moment. But I'm trying to think in the long term. I don't feel there should be anything wrong about that. Just because you don't "feel" there should be doesn't mean that there isn't. I imagine the girl has a much different attitude. Edited March 12, 2013 by normal person
Author Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 If you aren't that into her, it's going to manifest itself one way or another eventually. You'll become unhappy or start desiring something more than she's giving you. I don't think that you getting told to eat **** in the past gives you a free pass to withhold the whole truth from someone else. Just because you don't "feel" there should be doesn't mean that there isn't. I imagine the girl has a much different attitude. I don't see it as a free pass, I see it as working with the hand I'm dealt. Maybe it's what I deserve. Maybe I am a scumbag. Maybe I am "worth ****" as people indicate. Maybe I need a few years to fix my head. I've felt stabbed in the back by every other girl other than this one. Yea, I see her mindset and I asked her. She's just happy to be dating someone. Just I don't want to hurt her. You can call me crazy but when I hear the dreams of five kids, house, dog, white picket fence, it scares the living **** out of me. I have too much unfinished business and yet I need to take the steps to put me back in a better position to fix it. Sometimes the inner debate is worth the contemplating.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 This has got to be one of the saddest threads. Please let her go so that she can be with someone who is excited to date her. Everyone deserves that! Every guy I've dated felt he was unbelievably lucky to snag me and was thrilled to be my boyfriend. I was equally happy. I choose to be single when no one excites me. You are wasting two people's time--yours and hers--and stringing her along in the process. Just sad! End it! 1
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