Breakup what shall i do?

[Chocolate Wonder]

Hi everyone on Loveshack. I would like to say that i have been reading this forum for over a year before i decided to sign up, and that you guys are doing a great job by helping eachother on this site.

 

Me and my Ex of almost 5 months started dating 4years ago before we started to make it Official in 2010. In the beginning it was a healthy fun relationship. But when burglars enterd my house somewhere in 2011 i started to change. It took me untill the breakup to get over it as i was traumatized. I dont know why but i started to change. I turned into a jealous/clingy boyfriend and locked myself up inside as i almosy never went outside anymore. These burglars came back twice more and nobody believed me and the police couldnt do anything about it. I did not sleep anymore at nights and became really depressed. And i know it is not an excuse but i turned into an abusive boyfriend. Im not proud of it and i hope you guys will not go to hard on me. After allot of fights and even hitting her she decided that this relationship was over. After she broke up with me in October she told me that it was best if i left her alone so she could heal and move on. And in Januari i finally managed to completly leave her alone. I moved to another city started boxing and Became the old me again. And now here we are almost 5months after she dumped me i cant stop feeling guilty. And i was wondering. Should i ever contact her again? I really do love her and i have worked on myself. Or should i just leave this relationship behind me and let her live her life? We are both 21 btw. Im sorry for my grammar im

Not English. And im really ashamed of my behaviour so i hope you guys will go easy on me. Thanks for reading

ps. Im not the abusing type and have never treated my other ex's like this

[geegirl]

I'm not able to relate as to why the trauma you experienced with the burglars transitioned into you being physically violent with her. Coming from a past of physical abuse, I will tell you that I've never been physically violent with someone, trauma or not, triggered or not, so there could be more to this story than you are letting on.

 

It's disturbing that there's a side of you that can easily raise your hands, especially on someone you claim to love. You need to figure out what that is before you start focusing on her/relationship or anyone else.

 

Speaking for the other side, she was strong to leave the relationship because most would have stayed through the abuse. I would suggest you let her live her life and you continue living yours.

 

Five months is too short a time to have made any significant change within yourself, specifically when it comes to you having issues with abuse. Boxing doesn't fix you or provide answers as to why you did the things you did. It's just an outlet. Seek a counselor and work on yourself from within and dig deep as to why and how you ended up going down that path.